ItsACaplypso Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 OK, so I feel like a loser going online and bitching about real life, but here goes. I'm dating this guy, we go to college together, take the same classes, were studying together one night/having a few beers/jamming with his roomate and we just ended up in bed together. This happened about 3 months ago? now, I'm kind of a player myself, and don't really get serious with people, I'm young, I'm hot, and I like life too much to get caught up in relationship bull. but this guy is amazing, and I think I could say for once in my life I could actually fall in love with someone who isn't an abusive/cheating *******. But then again, he's giving me some mixed signals i think... I'm not sure if it's just him being afraid to commit or if he's just in for the fun of it. I just want to know if I'm investing too much of myself into this, I guess. So he'll talk to me about me, asks me about things I don't talk about with people, tells me about his life. We get lost in conversation for hours. We're both pretty busy, but we make time for eachother (or at least try to.) Most of the time, we're up til 4 just hanging out with everybody, and THEN we go to bed. Sometimes though, I'll come over late after work, his friends will hang out for five minutes and then leave, and then we he does his flirty thing and we go have sex, maybe ten minutes after I got there, which of course I'm not complaining, I love sex. But sometimes I wonder if that's all he wants I guess? I've been in that position before, but usually when all I want is sex, I don't go out on crazy adventures in seattle with them, or hang out with their friends, or introduce them to mine, or talk to them about their personal life... because I don't want to send the wrong message. Every now and then he gives me the feeling that he's mad at me or something. But then other times he acts so head over heels it's crazy. His friends all love me, one of them said we should get married... (kinda much for me...) He's still a little butt-hurt about his ex girlfriend (he's from alaska, so he's a fisherman, he leaves every summer for about five months to go fishing, and I guess that's why they broke up after two years). They broke up a long ass time ago, but every now and then he gets drunk and starts bitching about her and how they were in love. It's kinda not the thing you want to talk to the current girl about, don't ask don't tell. And then we don't call eachother our girl/boyfriend, but then at the same time, we text little cute lovey-dovey shizzle to eachother all day, and we both basically expect me to wait for him while he's in Alaska. SO he's leaving in may, and I dont know what the hell to do, should I wait? or is he just in it for the play? I can't tell. of course all my guy friends just want to get in my pants and tell me that he just wants sex, so I can't trust them. I dont have any girl friends to talk to about it. So I thought I'd ask for some anonymous advice.
Legend Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 You got 2 choices. 1) step it up and make more time for him, and work towards this quickly to start a relationship. or 2) Seal the deal on you being F*** buddies and be okay with that.
Legend Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Also, it sounds like you're kind of young, and still in college, around 18-20 range?
eric82 Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 instead of guessing, why don't you talk to him about it - your feelings, what you're wanting, and where you two see things going? him telling you what he thinks and wants will give you a lot more insight into the situation than you or outsiders reading into and trying to figure out what his behavior might mean he's thinking. come on, you're having sex with the guy, you should be able to talk to him about your concerns.
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