datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Honestly, do not be distracted. Women just don't sleep around so casually (usually). Babe, she is weighing it up. That's just fact. Now I know you want her and you've made up your mind and it's going to piss you off that she hasn't made up hers. But the truth is this: if you play it wrong you will lose. Try the methods suggested. Get her goat up. People will tell you so many things on here. But the truth is that the truth is subjective and mutable. The end may be or may not be the end. It is up to you. You shape it!
Ssheena Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Did she just sleep with you? Then yep, it means nothing. Did she tell you she loved you, that she wanted to be with you, that she missed you - anything like that? Did she? Then you have your answer.
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 right i've sent the text you suggested and no reply .. but your right it's better that she thinks i'm not sulking.. so only time will tell.. it is driving me crazy, yes she did say she missed me, but... i'm seeing the other girl tomorrow night at Salsa, so i shall just wait for that.. My ex has just got to sort herself out, it's not fair to make me do all the chasing..
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 ha ha. No answer? :) That's funny and good news. Go to salsa babe and do your thing! Whatever happens, this is the best course of action IMO. You have dignity and she has to really start to think about her options before she loses you forever. Wish you all the best! Spend your time waiting by doing something good for you, ok?
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 yep no answer, she never wished me luck! Good news? i don't think so.. There's nothing i can do now.. Yes Salsa tomorrow night but i'll take it easy with the other girl.. just some harmless flirting.. I'm just really upset as Saturday night was good, we had a good night and Sunday we played around for ages.. kissing, cuddling everything.. even the texts she was sending on Sunday were hinting at the second date, 'i'll think about it ' I mean that was a good sign... And now back to normal, she's still thinking about it, but without the wink, no kisses.. nothing.. I just have to think it's her loss, damn i just want her to say a date!!
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Look, you're going to have to buck up. Seriously. For yourself. For the remote possibility it might work. For any future girlfriends. Why did you think she'd wish you luck? That was a throwaway comment designed to make her think - why did he say that? He's out with the boys, what *luck* does he need? hmmmmm Bingo. Stop it. You're turning into Mr. Needy sad sack nobody wants me again and that is NEVER attractive. Do it with us here, but try TRY not to be stuck in those thoughts. You will only get to anxiety/compulsion (texting her)/ and anger and then really and truly push her away forever. Why does her saying the date RIGHT now bother you? I know I know, but really, does it REALLY matter? Just try to imagine she will say yes and tel lyou when soon. Just spend your time visualising that for a bit, ok? You may attract what you put out. If you keep putting out negative, that's what you'll receive!
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 nice points DM.. yes i did the Mr Needy/Angry stuff over 3 weeks ago and i wont be doing that again.. I have to snap out of this frame of mind, i have been getting a rather good life for myself, new interests, new friends and even a possible new girl (not really ready).. The reason i want the date right now... hmmm, just to put me at ease i guess.. I just don't know how long i'm supposed to give her.. but i have to imagine she will say yes, because on Sunday she more or less did... it's such a difficult thing all this waiting and i appreciate your time and help on this one, i really can not go back to the angry rejected texts again. I've come so far and have shown her that! (i hope) I don't think i've come across needy to her and i plan to keep it that way.
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 nO, you haven't! Not yet! I am only slapping you so that you will not keep thinking sad sack thoughts. If you do, you'll get right back to the anger thing. Take it from me babe. I've been doing it back and forth for nearly a year!!!!! I know, so far, what most definitely DOES NOT work! I'm happy to help, so many have helped me.
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 yeah i know quite a few things that don't work too.. It's just too hard sometimes this 'winning back an ex' thing.. but i've shown her the fun we can have on our last date and hopefully gone some way to getting rid of the post break up stuff we went through.. If she has any sense she'll come round, if not.. well i'm going back into the coping forum
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Well, that's where I am bub. But you know what? I'm getting out there. I'm done with my life being a big ball of pain. Maybe I'll relapse again in the future. But I'm a big boxing fan, box as a hobby, have even had some Muay Thai ring fights. There are some sorts of fighters who cannot function without feeling the sting of pain. They stand there, observe, get backed into a corner, roll with the punches. It isn't until they get hit really hard that they get pissed and the survival instinct kicks in. Then all hell breaks loose. i am one of those fighters. I am now well and truly in a corner and I'm not going down like a wussy! I'm too good. That man will NEVER find someone as hot and intelligent and daring and adventurous and loyal and loving as me. NEVER! I know it and he knows it too. So screw him if he messes it up anymore! I've done wrong, I've admitted it, I'm now in therapy sorting it out. If he can't see it and doesn't want it, well... bu-bye! NEXT! I have really experienced an upsurge in power the last couple of days just by thinking this way and I think the world is responding to it! I've three man options on the go at the moment besides the ex. I don't think any will turn into anything really, but it just fuels my fight! You should be thinking this way too, my friend
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Also, if she does respond or you hear from her after no contact for 24 hours, it may be that she responds with some hostility... know what that is? jealousy. Laugh it off. Just glide right past the subject. Whatever you do, do NOT bite, do NOT detail where you were, who you were with or respond to her coldness. Be like: "Hey, you sound down, you ok?" hee heee From the way you write and the way you sound, I think you're a pretty swell guy, so it's time you gave yourself a pat on the back and had some fun with this!
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Good for you DM.. 3 men??! now that's just greedy , it is nice to feel wanted, that's what i get from the girl at Salsa, that little bit of confidence.. whereas my ex is just killing it bit by bit.. she thinks i'm confident about our second date, but little does she know.. I'm cracking up! I'm hoping that the urge to be with my ex fades in time, but i feel deep down that she will go on date 2 with me, i mean she's just playing hard (bloody hard) to get.. It depends on how long i have to wait, because maybe Salsa girl will become more appealing (doubt it) you never know.. Damn lost love!
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Can you imagine how awesome it would be if someone else just waltzed in and was just, well... awesome? I'm sure it won't happen but it would make life easier. Where are you in the world, with your 'bloody'. I'm in the UK now, but from the US.
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 it would be amazing to get that feeling with someone else, but man she is so beautiful (to me).. her body is to die for and the fun we had on Sunday , just like old times..damn her! I'm in London (England) what are you doing over here? and where is your ex?
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 oh yes, you're in the UK. London I'm guessing - just looked at your other posts about the 'tube'. hey, I've got an awesome secret for you! google guardian soulmates. aahhhhhh. There are some really cool hot people on there!
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 I'm in "Royal" leamington spa. About 1.5 hours north. My work base is in London though, so I get down there all the time. My best mates live there too. I take my two wee ones to the galleries sometimes! My ex literally lives around the corner, we share a big group of friends, he BOUGHT MY BEST FRIENDS HOUSE that we renovated together. Its sh*t really! And the weirdest thing is, he hasn't changed his facebook picture (the two of us smiling and holding hands). What gives with that? He doesn't go on there much, but has in the last week! Weirdo. Anyway, I know the feeling. They are very special people and I do want to be his wife. But hey, can't make people feel. Let's not get neg though. It's all looking good.
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 well if i may say, him still having your picture on facebook is a very possitive sign. My friend got dumped by his ex ages ago and he puts a picture of him and her up as his profile image, because he still loves her! so who knows.. i like the wierdo comment, that's the way to do it! Yep you're looking good, hang in there and keep dating the 3 guys!! It's wierd that we both only want that one though, isn't it?!
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 No. It's two things: real love and ego. Love never goes away, I can tell you from first marriage. Ego fights against rejection and stamps its feet and makes us want it all the more. Never mind though. That's not the case in our case. WE are coming out of this winners.
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Hey, dont bother with reading the whole thing, but have a look at my last convo with the ex on my thread I kissed someone...coping? in Coping Forum. Tell me from a guys perspective what you honestly think, k? OK BACK TO YOUR THREAD
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 i like your positivity!! can i have some?! i just got a text and was so excited.. then i read it and it was from a friend cool is going to be my new name! she'll come on the second date, oh yes she will? I mean come on, she's just playing hard to get?! isn't she? well Salsa girl is going to have a good night tom . i am quite the gentleman sometimes...
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 i like your positivity!! can i have some?! iT'S CATCHING! I can hear it in your message! i just got a text and was so excited.. then i read it and it was from a friend Laughing my ass off, so true. Same thing just happened to me. she'll come on the second date, oh yes she will? I mean come on, she's just playing hard to get?! isn't she? of course she is babe well Salsa girl is going to have a good night tom . i am quite the gentleman sometimes... ooooooooooooh yeaaaaaaah
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 well i read your thread and the conversation... i think you are in a similar situation to me, he hasn't ruled out a reconciliation, he has stated that he DID try but seems to not be willing to try again at the moment.. It's very similar indeed.. Looking from the outside in, i would say that there is hope of a happy ending, but the way to achieve that is to stop chasing him.. I like the sex thing you promised him! so has he called since? because you seemed to have left it in his hands to call and organise a date
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 No no! Post on my thread so we dont' hijack yours! I got told off for that sex thing. But it's true. i just slipped in "look, another thing is: you can mess about if you like but my sexuality has been bottled up and now, it's AWOKEN. It's like a thousand trapped orgasms I haven't had over the past few weeks are screaming to get out. It's so bad that my stomach hurts. It's a demon waiting to come out, I'm serious. It's gonna happen, so you better sort your **** out - ask me out in advance (my diary is filling up quick) call me when you say you will and be fun! He said something sort of cold for a second, then abruptly said "actually I have a really big hard on" hahah. But he will have to work for it. OK last thing is: i texted him for our mechanics number and threw in a piss take, we bantered back and forth, but I left it by saying"I thought you'd gone all suburban on me" haha. No response since. You know what he's thinking now right? hahahah He's thinking *sh&t* she's dating other guys AND she's really horny AND she thinks I'm boring and suburban. hahahahahahahha Ok no more on this thread about me. k?
Author iwish Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 keep it up DM... nothing like a girl teasing you, i can tell you It's harder for us guys to play the sex card, i mean i've been doing it and it worked fine on Sunday.. but now she's not so keen to play the game.. although the sex with us was brilliant.. she had 4 orgasm's Sunday morning.. which isn't bad is it? So when did you last text him?
datingmum Posted March 31, 2008 Posted March 31, 2008 oh my god, you're a maniac! I love repeaters! He's like that. When we finally do it, it's gonna be goooooooooooooood! One word of warning though, when my exhusband and I tried to reconcile, we did have sex one night. I like it alot. But I woke up the next day and though "it was too easy to just fall back into a relationship" then he started geting needy and I was like "screw this". so don't do that. next time, tease her. Make her feel frustrated. Give, but only a little bit. Don't have sex. oh how funny. sorry. That texting was earlier today, after our conversation last night. So I'm going to leave it. My girlfriend said to stop being so obstinate given how much I've screwed things up and said to just phone him later in week and ask him to hook up for a quick drink. She thinks that all I've ever done is chase and demand and answer before I will be nice and play, so she thinks I should just ask him out a few times to show him I can just have fun, no relationship talk... But I'm not so sure....
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