PinkICE Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 hi everyone, I know its time to move on and forget my cheater bf. I just can't believe how it was so easy for him to cry so much and begged for second chance and at the same time swearing at this family's life that he never lied and I'm the only one. He's been doing this begging for few nights straight and keep pleading to meet him just to prove how sincere he is. But last night I discovered the most painful truth. While I was in Europe for 2 months (Nov-Dec), this girl stayed at his place for 10 days and met all his family member. Two weeks after the girl went home, I came back from my trip & stayed at his place for a month before I finally went back to home. Of course I meet his family several times already and he asked me to marry him few times also. I just can't believe why this guy is so F****NG liar! I lower down my status just to be with him! When he was sick, I was with him for the whole month taking care of him and buying all the medicines he needed! I even bought several expensive medicines in Europe. I do love him despite of everything but this time? Thoughts of him make me gag. I'm having on and off fever for 5 days now and I couldnt even eat coz I vomit. Last night I cried from 9pm til 6 am and couldn't even sleep until now. My head is pounding and my body feels so beaten up. I know I'm going to end up in hospital if I dont have the strength to fight for this. I even asked him last night to choose between us but he couldn't choose. He just cried so hard again and told me he couldnt afford to lose me and that he just needed to meet me. I know I'm done with him. Pls, I just need some smacking and insults for wake up call! I love you guys! I can't believe I'm doing this to myself! I'm totally in daze right now. I need to temporarily shut off my brain coz it feels like its gonna explode. I wish I have an access with general anesthesia then it's easier to doze off without thinking anything.
sedona Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 This is the most difficult time for you because your wounds are so fresh and you're reeling from the emotional pain, even though you know that you're better off without him. You have to concentrate on yourself now. Do you have a friend that can come over and be with you? Someone who can talk with you if you want to talk or just be there so you have company? You have to take care of your body, your physical illness. Have you seen a doctor? Do you have a therapist you can talk too? Might be a good idea to find one if you don't. I wish I could help more, but I'm one of the walking wounded myself. You're not alone. The pain that you're feeling is normal. Keep posting here. LS can't make your problems disappear, but reaching out to others in this way, in any way, can help you get over the worst of it I think. It sounds like you've hit rock bottom. You can only go up from here. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
Habibti Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Can I just say..big fat kudos? Do you know how many women have gone through what you're experiencing and still played dumb? Decided to take their cheating boyfriend back only to endure MORE pain down the road? I know it hurts like hell right now babe, but seriously KUDOS for being strong enough to know you deserve better. It hurts now- but you're going to walk away with a lot of self respect in the end when you realise- HEY I'm an ass kicker! I didn't take no ****! I wasn't some dumb idiot girl choosing to take BS from a bull****ter. Please know sunnier days await you on the horizon, cheating men and bad relationships are not the be all end all of us. There are trully good and faithful AMAZING men that DO exist- I know because I'm with one of them . They may be a rare breed but they are by no means extinct and now that you're not tied up to this bozo in the future after you have healed, regained your strength and are ready- you will be open to finding one of them. . It hurts like hell right now, I know. I've been there - it feels like you'll never have another good day in your life again but I remind you once again - you may kiss some frogs but the prince makes it all worth it. I know mine did :love:. They do sell over the counter sleep aids- DO NOT mis-use them but if it is needed feel free to take some just to get some sleep. After a few days on a well rested mind you will realise that how much it hurt you- you are proud of yourself for being strong enough to remove yourself from this situation and demand to be treated like a lady.
Author PinkICE Posted March 28, 2008 Author Posted March 28, 2008 (edited) He texted me today with this: "J, honestly i miss u so much. I dont know how to cope with this but i dont wanna lose u." I replied two hours after with this: "Better say that to ur other girls & they will believe u more. Pls return my valuable stuffs. The books, pen,stones,shirt. Also, I need the 500 USD u borrowed. Goodluck to ur marriage(Coz he asked the other girl for marriage, as well). I feel sorry for the girl. Bye" (I know this is too immature but I seriously need those stuffs back. Those are very important to me. I supposed to give it to my dad but instead, I asked him to keep it for me. Those are antiques and exotic pieces i got from one of my trips. I dont really care about the money though. I just want to make him feel ashamed). OHH HE TEXTED ME BACK AFTER AN HOUR! HIS MSG: " J, I dont want to lose u. Anyway im sick nw. Been thinking too much and just gt bck from doctor due to my head bleeding." THIS IS MY REPLY TO HIM:" u dont want to lose any of ur girls, A. I'm not 1 of ur spare tires. I'm the car and not just any car. I let u drove me & manipulated me for months. Do u seriously think I will still play with ur pathetic mind games? I lowered down by status just to be with you & accept the entire u only to be eaten whole by u. I am very disappointed with ur family too. I had high respect for them. Why not call ur spare tires to fool urself more just so u wont feel like a loser? I can't believe a person with ur condition can be so worst INSIDE OUT." ( He has a Psoriasis) HE REPLIED QUICKLY: "Dont put my family in this picture. Blame me for this J. I realise my mistake and i want to clear everything whc means i want to start all over again. Pls J." I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I STILL NEED TO REPLY TO ALL THESE NONSENSE BUT I REPLIED ANYWAY. THIS IS MY REPLY: No, A. I'm done playing dumb with u. I dont need a scumbug in my life who will just drained me and kill me slowly everyday. I deserve a HUMAN being. Pls return my things. That's all I ask from u. Thank you. WHAT DOES HE THINK OF ME? AN IGNORANT GIRL WHOM HE THINKS WILL STILL BELIEVE EVERY F****NG LIES THAT COME OUT FROM HIS FILTHY MOUTH? THE MORE HE TRIES TO CONVINCE ME WITH HIS LIES, THE MORE HE SLAPS AND INSULTS MY ENTIRE BEING! F*** HIM! HE CAN SAY THAT TO GIRLS WHO HAVE LOW INTELLIGENCE & DONT HAVE SELF RESPECT! I DO WANT TO INSULT THE HELL OUT OF HIM SO HE WILL KNOW HOW LOW HE IS IN MY EYES NOW. NOW HE WILL REALIZED HE IS JUST A PIECE OF SH** WHO GOT SO LUCKY TO FOOL A DIAMOND FOR MONTHS! I'm sorry for my emotions here. I'm just SO MAD right now! But I'm feeling better expressing all these here. Thanks a lot for replying guys, esp Habibti. You moved me so much with your response. Thanks for the love, girl. Edited March 28, 2008 by PinkICE
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