RCCDMA Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 I cheated on my wife with a woman that was also married. I left my wife because I thought it was the thing to do. I told the truth about what I had done after some serious thought. The other woman did not want to leave her husband and started pulling away almost immediately. Still calls from time to time looking for some fun but I have severed all relations with her. I tried reaching out to this site at the start and it actually helped me. That is my story in a nutshell. I have not been on here for a few months but a few people may wonder what has been going on. Or maybe not but here it is anyway. I have been able to survive the initial separation and have learned a few things. For those wondering what to do I would suggest the following. Don't ever cheat with a married woman, too many hearts get broken, including some that you would not think of.Don't ever cheat period (but if you do then see the first bullet), value what you have and if you are not happy then go to marriage counseling, if that doesn't work then get a divorce and then you can find somebody else.Telling the truth is the only thing that you can do if you do cheat because if you don't it will inevitably lead to more lies....Own your mistake and don't expect anyone else to forgive you, they don't have to and if they do then you are lucky....Get help as soon as you get down unless you are very strong, I tried it completely on my own and you have to talk to someone, it is critical.....Let your boss know that you will not be as good on your own as you were with your wife, you won't so don't think that you will, your life will change.Look forward to starting over in virtually every facet of your life, learning to take care of yourself (bills, cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc)...Find a good church, no matter what happens you probably need to........Good luck you are going to need it!
noforgiveness Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 You sound miserable. Did you do the right thing for the long haul or would you have been happier staying with your wife?
MimiMe Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 I wouldn't call him sounding "miserable"... He sounds like someone that has learned from his mistakes and yet is adult enough to recognize that he needs to start over. RCC... G*d bless! and I wish you luck and peace wherever life takes you now. I have experienced some of your suggestions first hand. YES! we all need someone to talk to! Ah my friends, what would I do without them?! Let me give you my stbxH address so you can tell him all these suggestions. LOL! He is in for a big surprise!!
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 More sad than miserable. Maybe has some regrets and if he had a chance to do it all over again, everything would be handled much differently. I guess right now the best thing to do is, stay positive and learn/grow from this situation. I hope you find happiness again RCC.
penelope12 Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 You sound very sad RCC, or almost numb at this point. . . . . .what is scary to me is that I could have written the same post.
White Flower Posted March 28, 2008 Posted March 28, 2008 I think I remember your original story. How are you doing these days?
Author RCCDMA Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 I have been off this site for quite some time but I was sitting here thinking about how much it helped me to hear from folks (both good and bad) and thought I would come back on and thank everyone. If you have cheated or been cheated on I wish you all well. I am doing fine now. Still learning to be alone but I am doing fine. Cheating is a horrible and hurtful thing and I regret my actions. I was wrong and so are others that cheat. The good thing is we can all learn from our mistakes and not make the same mistake again. Good luck to all of you that have been hurt and to all of you that have hurt someone!!!
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