tonyeltiger Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Hey all. It's been a while since I've posted around here, but have been doing pretty ok. Just thought that some people may be interested to know how I am coping, and maybe this will help someone else, who knows? (I'm actually just pretty bored and putting off some work, but there you go). It's been a couple months since my gf of 4 years broke it of with me telling me a bunch of lies and running of with another man. All who have followed my story knows that it had me tied in knots for a very long time now. Realizing that my ex isn't worth anymore of my thoughts or anxiety, I have been trying very hard to forget. Completely out of the blue however, (while going out and meeting up with friends and whatnot like most will suggest to get over an ex) I ran into this girl that I had always hit it off really well, but never acted on anything because I had a gf and am not a bastard. Well, we met up by accident by meeting a mutual friend for dinner. I remembered how we had hit it off, and seemed to be kinda flirty, so I asked for her number (scary!). Anyways, I called her up a few days later after thinking about whether I wanted to try dating again and asked her out to dinner. We met up and had a nice dinner, and seemed to really hit it off. She seems really shy in general, so it is nice that I don't have to worry about physical stuff for a while. Anyways, a week went by and I asked her out again, this time just to get together at my place to watch a show we both watch. Was invaded by my roomy, but other than that a pretty decent time. During that time, we made plans to see a movie we both wanted to watch later in the week. Well she calls me tonight and we go and see the movie. Pretty good time, talking on the drive to and from was really nice as well. Anyways, the best thing about all of this is that whenever I am with her, my ex doesn't even slightly enter my mind. This is not the best thing by far, but it is very nice. I can really unwind ever though there are other stresses involved with dating. But the stresses actually help. I don't have time to worry about a girl that obviously doesn't care for me when I am worrying about how much I'd like to put my arm around the girl right beside me and evidently interested. Rebound Relationship? I don't think so. We're only going out on a few dates. I certainly am in no rush. Although I do know that I want to get to know this person better. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that although a couple months ago I never thought I could be happy again, and was in a deep depression. Now, suddenly this girl falls into the picture and I find that there are good things out there waiting for me. We have many things in common that me and my ex did not at all, I just never noticed until I met this new girl. There's hope out there guys and gals. Stop mourning and open your eyes! Theres many many wonderful people out there that will be much better for you than your ex! Wish me luck! I wish you the same.
dfreeman Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Good on you man for keeping your eyes open and being open to new things. It is so cool that you have things in common with her that you didn't have with your ex...life doesn't always have to be about the ex! I wish I had more than optimism to offer back, but after my first venture out appears to be headed for the friendzone, I did meet a really nice woman last night that I immediately hit it off with. She made a point of picking me as a dance partner when class started and invited me to sit with her and her friend after class. I thought it was too soon to ask for a phone # on our first class together, but she made it a point of telling me which nights she would be there dancing. Not quite as good as you got it my man, but your story definitely inspires me to stay at it! I am rooting for you and your new gal - wish me luck making my move next week. Good luck, dfree
Author tonyeltiger Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 Gald to hear it! No guts no glory! Next time get that number though!
dfreeman Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Sir Yes Sir! I am glad that your mind isn't fixated on the ex - that tells me that this is no rebound for you. On my first venture out (third date this Saturday), I did really well on the first date, but somehow must have relaxed my guard on the second date and found myself comparing to the ex a little. Probably moot now because I'm pretty sure we were giving each other the friendship vibe toward the end of the date? No matter what comes from this new girl you are seeing, just experiencing that attitude shift is awesome to see from you. Some people have to wait a while to get their reward for moving on and others stumble on it right away - I hope you are in the latter group. good times, dfree
LoserAtLove Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 That's good to here. I was feeling fine yesterday knowing my ex wanted me back. But, today its like I can't stop thinking of her. I won't go back, but hate the feeling that there is no one else out there for me.
dfreeman Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 Gald to hear it! No guts no glory! Next time get that number though! I should see her at the dance class tonight and I hope my balls don't shrink up and fall off! Don't be shy if there are more good updates on your current situation - when it comes to motivation on here, the more the merrier!
MalachiX Posted April 1, 2008 Posted April 1, 2008 I had an interesting experience but an unsure if I want to get back on the wagon. A few days ago, I saw my EX had lister herself as back with her old boyfriend on Facebook (the one who's supposedly gay and lives even further away than I do!!!). Even though it had been a month of NC and almost two months after the split, I felt awful all over again. Last night, I had a meeting downtown and stopped at a bar/cafe which was owned by one of the people at my meeting. I ended up chatting with a girl all night, making-out, and swapping numbers. I'm really kind of torn. It was great to feel attractive again and I had phone. I'd like to see this girl again but am not prepared for anything the least bit serious. I'm debating how soon to call and exactly what kind of approach is right to take (how do you pursue someone who you'd just like a casual relationship with?). I guess I'm also a bit hesitant because, if I sleep with this new girl, it makes the chances of ever reconcilng with my EX even slimmer (though I guess it's dumb to live my life like that).
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Hey Tony, I remember your original posts and the anxiety you had. Gratz on the approaching the dating, take it easy on yourself. It doesn't sound like rebound to me either... but even if it is, so what..? Sometimes rebound relationships work out too. Plus like you said, you're not rushing anywhere, just enjoy things for what they are. Tis nice to see you happy man
Author tonyeltiger Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Hahaha, thanks all! Glad to see others coping as well! Things have been going ok. I think the strangest thing is that dating someone new is way different than dating the person I had for the past 4 years. It seems so much more distant. This is to be expected of course, but it is hard to get it into my mind that relationships GROW and become closer and serious. Being used to only a serious relationship in the past, it is difficult telling myself that it isn't disinterest if we don't talk for a day or two, but simply that we've only gone on a couple dates lol. I hope I made myself clear, I'm not sure if I did. The main point: It's different! Sometimes in an apprehensive way, mostly in an exciting way. Good luck all, I hopefully will have a date this weekend as well ^^. Forget your Exes, they are NOT worth it
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