Graduate Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 I went back to school for a second degree and in consequence I am about 10 years older than most students. I have got many friends at uni and they all say they would have pecked me for about 23 (I am 30). Anyway, there is this guy in one of my courses that I have had a crush on since September. I have tried talking to him a few times in fall, but nothing came out of it. Last week we had a short conversation for the first time since this course started, and I was reminded of what I liked so much about him in the first place: He is funny, intelligent, sweet and in class discussions we nearly always share the same opinion. So after we had this conversation last week I added him on facebook. He accepted and I found out that he is 23! I am 30! I would have pegged him for 26, but I guess I was wrong. Today I saw him again and did not get to talk to him, but he smiled at me and mouthed hallo when he saw me at the beginning of class. Next week is our last class, and I am probably not going to see him again after that. So I am debating if I should make a move. Nothing drastic, but possibly ask him if he would like to stay in touch. Reasons this is a bad idea: 1) He is 7 years younger than me! 2) He has known me since September, but never showed any interest in getting to know me. 3) I already showed I am interested by adding him on facebook 4) I am moving to another country for a year this summer. I don't know what to do. I don't want to embarrass myself, but I also don't want to ask myself what could have been. I know due to my move nothing serious can happen at this time, but I would love to at least be in touch, instead of just one out of 700 friends on facebook. Any input?
BlueHaiku Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Ask him out for heavens sake! Your post sounds like you're scared to, and lining up reasons not to. If he doesn't wanna date a 30 year old, then he can say no thank you. Also, NO man is going to understand that adding him to facebook means you want him to ask you out. I'm sorry, they often don't even figure it out when you're gazing deeply into their eyes and telling them that you find them fascinating! He won't understand any of that "nothing drastic" stuff either. He won't understand that, either. Go up to him and say "Would you like to go out to dinner with me this weekend?" You'll regret if you never give it a chance.
AussieJack Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 [quote=BlueHaiku;1590776 Go up to him and say "Would you like to go out to dinner with me this weekend?" You'll regret if you never give it a chance. --------------------------------------------------------- Ladies ! THis is how it is done. Your habitual need for us to "read between the lines" is just dumb. Go the direct route with men. Frankly, we guys cannot be fussed playing the " girly hints" games - they are boring and adolescent. AJ says , " Rejection is better than Regret "
betterthandead Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I would only give him your number and suggest that the both of you hang out sometime.
barefoot880 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I would only give him your number and suggest that the both of you hang out sometime. That's not enough. If I were in this guy's shoes and that's all she did then I would think she's just being friendly. It's better for guys not to read too much into what they perceive as "buying signals" from a woman. Most of what we perceive as buying signals is either just friendliness or niceness. Also some women are just naturally flirty. That's their personality. Doesn't have anything to do with interest level.
SS49 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You have 700 friends on facebook?? That's pretty impressive.... Anyway, you should definitely ask him to out or if he'd like to hang out sometime. In response to your reasons this is a bad idea 1) He is 7 years younger than me! -- who cares age is a number it's all about where you are in life and what you're ready to experience. 2) He has known me since September, but never showed any interest in getting to know me. -- there could be hundreds of different reasons for this, maybe he wanted to but was also scared of making a fool of himself. Or he was focused on other things.... most of the time that I was in school if people weren't part of the group of people I hung out with, or friends with them I hardly noticed, too many other things happening... hell half the time I was just trying to stay awake!! .....that's just the way it is, but once you guys talked he showed some interest. 3) I already showed I am interested by adding him on facebook -- BlueHaiku is right, no one, man or woman, is going to pick up on that. 4) I am moving to another country for a year this summer. -- Life, IMO, is all about experiences. Live life now and worry about the future when it comes. (I'm not saying don't think out the future, take it into consideration, just don't let it make decisions for you) and now I think I may have to take my own advice and just ask the guy I like to go out sometime....(whom coincidently I also might only see this week for the last time... but only for 6 months or so, not forever)
jerbear Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I went back to school for a second degree and in consequence I am about 10 years older than most students. I have got many friends at uni and they all say they would have pecked me for about 23 (I am 30). Cool! good luck! I did something similar and the gals were hot but "we" don't date among the class. Reasons this is a bad idea: 1) He is 7 years younger than me! 2) He has known me since September, but never showed any interest in getting to know me. 3) I already showed I am interested by adding him on facebook 4) I am moving to another country for a year this summer. I don't know what to do. I don't want to embarrass myself, but I also don't want to ask myself what could have been. I know due to my move nothing serious can happen at this time, but I would love to at least be in touch, instead of just one out of 700 friends on facebook. Any input? 7 years is not an issue, most guys want an older woman! In addition, adding him to facebook doesn't do a thing. I've added people to facebook and I like them. Not serious well at least you get a casual relationship out of it. If not friends. Moving out of the country for a year is a good thing; helps your budding career.
Lizzie60 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You go girl.. ask him out.. He's probably too shy... 7 years is nothing.. trust me..
sweetbutcheeky Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Go for it! The only reason I would have to not (to any guy no matter the age) was the fact that your moving away for a year.
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