Just broke up and lost my life

[vulcan]

Ok heres the deal full story sorry for the length in advance but I feel it is all important to list all the details possible. Ok first off, Im 36 my ex Gf is 18. I know alot of people will look down on the age difference but we fell for each other, it was unplanned and thats how our hearts felt.

 

Ok so I met her online. She didn't have the best home life but is VERY smart book wise and graduated HS a year early got scholarshps and very high marks in school she got into college got a internship at a company makes doubble of what I make. She was always concerned at my status as not having all that much in life IE: im still finishing my degree and have a small debt andschool loans.

 

Well anyways we met and from the very first moment we saw each other we had a connection, that unexpalinable connection. We saw each other EVERYDAY so after about 6 months she moves in with me my idea to get her away from her parents who were totaly unsupportive. So things are great while she is here. Well a few months later I start to doubt how I feel about her because she doesn't have the greatest personality and can come off as being a bitch, well I didn't really understand her that well. I do now and I know she is kind and carring under it all. So anyways I feel like im doubting my feelings for her so ignored her and I didn't want to cheat on her so I resorted to looking at porn to take care of my needs instead of being with her. this of course hurt her deeply. then my grandmother was dying so I went throguh that and she eventualy moved out.

 

The minute she moved out it was like a light swicth went off and I realized I did love her. So I chased her and stalked her relentlessly. after a month of that I finaly get her to come back and she moved back in with me end of dec. So things are great for a month. I was getting the I love yous I miss you all is great. So we planned on moving to a new place and we get so close to actualy moving then out of the blue she calls and says I can't do this. I was shocked! She said she was forcing herself to get back into me and didn't think it would work and she didn't love me.

 

So she moves out for like a day and for some reason the new place she found didn't work out so she was back at my place. 2 weeks later she finds a new place and then her car broke down so I was driving her to work and school everyday all the time she was with me since the first break up I was the perfect BF. I did EVERTHING for her tried to improve myself show her I loved her all that. Well I even asked her if I got her a ring would that help show I was serious about us she said it would help so I did I got hera ring. She wore it everyday. So anyways she tells me she doesn't want to live with this girl and she doesn't want to live with me but she sticks around for like another month in the mean time we are broken up but we still slept together and did all that lovey dovey stuff and acted like couple. Then it got weird cause one day I would drop her off at work she would hug me the next day she would just say bye. I would be sleeping and sometimes she would kiss me and the next day nothing. It seemed like one day she wanted me the next day no.

 

So this goes on for awhile Im getting frustrated and irritable. I asked her do you want to live here or no? she says she did want to live with me and she did want to be with me but wished I had a better job, other interests and no debt. So I asked her a few days later do you want live her she says yes. I say for how long? she says awhile so I set all of her stuff up to make her feel at home. Then I fnd she is looking for an apartment. So I ask her she says she is moving because I pressured her and lal I wanted to know what she wanted so I could make plans for us or myself or whatever.

 

So one day Im doing her taxes, now mind you up to this point she is crawling in bed with me evey night and intiating all the lovey dovey stuff. I would sometimes not even touch her and she would force me to hold her or scoot over to be next to me. At this time I also see she is talking to alot of guys and she was on a datting site so Im really upset that she is crawling in bed with me and doing all this lovey stuff and talking to guys. So anyways I get her taxes done while she was in bed for the night and her phone goes off, its a guy so she gets up and gets dressed she says she is going to the post office to mail the taxes in. At 10pm I say? I ask her if shes comming back tonight she says yes I ask her if she is coming back right away she says no. So I ask who she is seeing well she tells me she met a guy. So I blow up I take my ring back and house key and tell her to get out she leaves.

 

So now she is in her new apt. she told me she didn't want me to know where she lived or have her number (which I have anyways) she said why do I want to be with someone that doesn't love you? She said you should have left me in my first apt why didnt you give me space? I tell her I didn't want things to be this way she says either did I. I told her I pushed her cause I didn't want to lose her.

 

So I e-mail her at work wrote her a nice letter she says Im gald you are finaly letting this go. then I said Im cool with you and stuff she writes back just so we are clear we will never live together again. She said I don't want to completly lose contact with you I still want to do things with you ect. I asked her about if perhaps one day we could be back together she writes I have no clue to what the future holds for me only time will tell I guess im just being young now I suppose W/e. I asked her if she was happy she replies yes, its not because of what I have now or will have for any significant ammount of time.

 

SOOO she calls me tells me about how great her ne BF is not even 2 days after she left me and all that. Then she tells me a few days later, guess what my BF is either bi sexual or gay leaning towards gay. later she calls me and we talk and she says she is breaking up with him cause he is too clingy and doesn't know how to have sex.

 

Well she had mail here so she stoped by Fri night to get her mail we talk well I talked, reminded her of all the good times the connection we had and the ring which she said she wanted just not now. I had her laughing meanwhile he calls her and from what I heard her say to him is this. Ok you have to stop being a but head and a new rule no comming over after you have been drinking. Yes we can talk later you need a time out go home I will talk to you later have anice day. So she asks if we could have coffee she was supposed to go out to dinner with him but didn't go. So she says I want to take a nap so she goes and lays down in my bed. She then play hits me and says what are you doing? I say Im just sitting here what do you want me to do? she trys to flirt with me, she wants sex. I say Colleen, you are dating someone I cant I would have no self respect if I did that. I said if we wroking on things or together I would be all over you. Colleen says "Im datting a homo and I don't even really like him" I asked how old he was she said over 21 and then she says I don't want to talk about him we will just call him "the guy" So I said Colleen if we had sex what would it mean to you? she said pleasure don't you like pleasure? I said yes but when I have sex with you it is because it is something special with me to you. So she gets all like W/e and takes a nap for an hour I rubbed her back alittle gave her a kiss on the head and she giggled well she gets up and calls "the guy" and tells her she will be home in a little she wouldn't say she was with me. So she leaves says bye and goes to the door. I turn and I see her standing by the door and she asks are you ok ? I said yes and she leaves. I run out to her car and say I wish you didn't go. She said its snowing I have to. So I e-mailed her sat and said it was nice to see you last night hope you got home ok. She replies yes it was nice to come over and take a nap in a bed im used to LOL. I told her she looked cute sleeping and I could smell her on my pillow. we got to small talk I asked her what she was doing that night she didn't respond So I said I hope you have a nice day at work and figure out your home work she writes back Ok bye.

 

So thats it I haven't talked to her since sat so 3 days so far looks like going to be 4 comming up.

 

So what do yo guys make of this? Do I keep the NC going? what do you think she is thinking? any clue as to a game plan or is she gone for good? Im going through all the stuff everyone else is here so any thoughts on what she might think or do would help or what I could do to not screw up any chance with her if there is one in the future.

thanks guys this thread is great and I have been reading it like crazy.

 

I have thoughts of why she hasn't called or anything or what is she doing when we used to be together everyday and now its like nothing. what is she doing thinking? Will she call?

 

ihate the fact im sleeping alone and she is out with whoever carrying on like she has the best life now.

[Prosecco]

I'm going to admit I only skim read (I'm off to bed!). But - from my skim reading my comments are:

 

1) The problem with the 18-36 age difference is not 'oh my god you two are different ages' but- from the age of 16-25, people change a heck of a lot (in my experience). I was a very mature 18 year old, but looking back, I was very very different to how I am now. The man I loved at 18 was perfect for me then - but I grew out of him. By 23, we were nothing but friends, and it ended. We're still friends, but could never be anything more. Also - intelligence is not maturity - it can make a person seem more so, but does not in any way equate.

So - if it didn't end now, it almost certainly would in the future. And the fact it took her leaving for you to 'love her' strongly suggests to me that you were more missing what you had, rather than actually truly love her.

 

2) She's a teenager with a bad (according to you) home life, who turned to an older guy who supported her. Whether she knew it or not - I suspect she was using you, to get what she couldn't get from her family - whether it was a father figure, support or simply a break from those family arguments we all have had with our parents.

Frankly - if she'd had amazing parents, and chose to be with you despite that, then I might say it was for reasons I'd consider suitable for a long term relationship. Running away from something ultimately will blight the thing 'run to'.

 

My advice: Steer WELL away. She sounds like a childish little girl who's realised the power she has over you, and intends to use it as most convenient. I'd go no-contact (not to get her back, but to get rid of your wanting her), and seriously mean it. Cut her out of your life - tell her you're doing so, so she doesn't keep leaving messages or contacting you asking why. Then - after that - have nothing more to do with her. She will either hurt you a lot teasing and leading you on, or might come back to you to hurt you in the future.

She sounds immature and... unpleasant. And I genuinely believe any person who'd cheat on their current partner, even if with a past love, will cheat on the person they cheated with.

 

A million and one warnings signs - Keep away!

[stoneymirror]

Sounds like you two are in totally different stages of life. Could you really see yourself marrying this girl? Imagine what you'd have to sacrafice to get to that point. I'd say leave her alone indefinately. She may be mature for her age, but nowhere near mature enough for you...

[sedgwick]

I sort of have to wonder what someone who's 36 -- my age -- is doing with an 18-year-old. What would be wrong with a woman your own age, someone who'd done her college partying and growing, someone who's had some life experience as an adult? Why do you need to be with someone who's in (or just out of) high school?

 

An 18-year-old is still a CHILD. She needs to grow up and find out who she is. Just because she's mature for her age doesn't mean she should stay the same person she is at 18. She NEEDS to go out, date people her own age, learn who she is, learn what she loves. She needs to come into the world as her own person, of her own doing. This is not a grown-up adult we're talking about. I was a pretty independent teenager too, but at 18 I was still trying to figure out how to do my own laundry and clean my own apartment. I was learning how to live on my own, and you have to let her do that too. (And GOD FORBID I should have ended up with the guy I was dating at 18! As I should have, I outgrew that relationship. That is good and healthy and to be expected!)

 

If you literally lost your LIFE when this girl went away, what was going on in your life before? If I met a man my own age who told me that when the teenager he was dating went away, he lost his LIFE, I would be very concerned about what was going on with him psychologically. You say yourself that you "stalked her relentlessly" -- now, if a 36-year-old man told me he was STALKING an 18-year-old girl, that would be Run Away Quickly and Alert the Authorities time for me, and hopefully to god she'd have run away too! Where on earth were her parents when you were "stalking" their CHILD?!?!?!

 

Also, as I've said here 2394872394872394827349 times before, as long as nobody is being hurt to make it, there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING wrong with porn! It has always totally baffled me when women get upset with men for looking at it. Wouldn't you rather have a grown-up girlfriend who will watch it with you, and maybe even want to try out some of what she's seeing? Bonus points: by the time she's in her 30s, she'll even know how to do it!

 

And please...calling the guy she's dating "a homo?" That's, like, junior-high-level behavior. Can you really, as a grown man, be attracted to a woman who talks like an ignorant child? The low level of maturity here is a huge red flag, and not just on her part -- case in point, you describing her response to something you said as, "so she was like W/e." (I take it this means that you said something to her about sex, something you thought was important, and her response was, "Whatever." And if so, is that a satisfactory, mature response?)

 

Last but not least, do you REALLY want a woman who actually thinks things will be better if you give her a piece of jewelry? I know, symbolism of the ring, etc etc, but really, it's kind of like saying the boo-boo will stop hurting if you give her a cookie. One has nothing whatsoever to do with the other.

Edited March 26, 2008 by sedgwick

[aln186]

You posted here so you're still "alive".

 

Ditto what Sedgwick said.

[Lovegod]

Ok first off, Im 36 my ex Gf is 18.

 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with sexing a woman who is of legal age. However, a long term relationship with an 18 year old isn't a good idea. The earliest women will hit any kind of maturity and stability is around their mid-20s. Even then, some women won't mature until they're in their 30s.

 

The minute she moved out it was like a light swicth went off and I realized I did love her.

 

It's human instinct to desire what you can't have. At that moment, you no longer "had" her. She basically closed the door on you, and like a puppy you were scratching to come in.

 

So I chased her and stalked her relentlessly.

 

That was a bad idea.

 

I did EVERTHING for her tried to improve myself show her I loved her all that.

 

Never do EVERYTHING for a woman. They are human and can take care of themselves. If you do too much for a woman, you will spoil her and she'll take advantage of you, just like what happened here.

 

Well I even asked her if I got her a ring would that help show I was serious about us she said it would help so I did I got hera ring.

 

Oh hell....

 

she says she did want to live with me and she did want to be with me but wished I had a better job, other interests and no debt.

 

Give a woman a little, she'll want more. Give her a truckload, she'll want twenty truckloads.

 

So one day Im doing her taxes, now mind you up to this point she is crawling in bed with me evey night and intiating all the lovey dovey stuff.

 

Wow, you really got used. And how old are you? You should've learned about this by now.

 

I asked her about if perhaps one day we could be back together

 

And you still want her back?

 

Well she had mail here so she stoped by Fri night to get her mail

 

When your ex's 5hit arrives at your house, write on it "Return To Sender" and leave it halfway sticking out of the mailbox. Better yet, throw it in the garbage. Let her figure out how to get her mailing address changed. She's a big girl, she should be able to take care of herself.

 

So she says I want to take a nap so she goes and lays down in my bed.

 

This is one of those rare occasions when you kick a woman out of bed.

 

And now, to answer your questions...

 

So what do yo guys make of this?

 

I think you need to wake up and smell the potatoes. This bitch used you for your money, your services, your home, for a substitute, and for sex.

 

Women who are in their late teens and early 20s are lousy for long-term commitments. They are flakey, they like to party, and they have no desire to "settle down". Get yourself a woman who's not young, immature, and stupid.

 

And you're not innocent in this either. You spoiled the 5hit out of her. The more you gave, the more she wanted. Reward a woman when she's been faithful, honest, reliable, and trustworthy. DO NOT reward a woman for treating you like garbage, or she will continue to treat you like garbage.

 

Do I keep the NC going?

If NC=No Contact, then YES. Make it permanent. NEVER call her again, NEVER go to her house, NEVER email her, NEVER txt msg her, NEVER meet up with her for coffee, and NEVER return her stuff personally.

 

what do you think she is thinking?

 

WHO CARES. She's gone, and she's not abusing you.

 

any clue as to a game plan or is she gone for good?

 

If you need a gameplan to get this crazy bitch back in your life, you may want therapy.

 

ihate the fact im sleeping alone and she is out with whoever carrying on like she has the best life now.

 

Deal with it. She probably sexed 20 other guys while she was with you, and she will continue to do so whether you're in her life or not.

Edited March 26, 2008 by Lovegod

[sedgwick]

Give a woman a little, she'll want more. Give her a truckload, she'll want twenty truckloads.

 

I can't even begin to state how utterly and completely offensive and wrong this is. I'd have given anything if my ex had done the kinds of things I did. I cooked for him, knitted him things, wrote him little surprise love notes all the time, went to every one of his local shows. I remember watching other women get flowers on Valentine's Day and saying nothing when he said, "That's a fake holiday anyway. I had an ex who worked in a flower shop and she never liked anybody else's flower arrangements so now I'll never get a woman flowers because I'm too scared she won't like them."

 

If he had picked me a weed growing along the sidewalk, I'd have been ecstatic. I'd have felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Once I asked him to bring me something back from tour -- "Just a shell or a rock or something. Just pick up something at a moment when you're thinking of me." He brought nothing and said nothing. I honest to god probably would have cried with joy if he'd brought me a rock. Forget jewelry, I just wanted something free that he picked up alongside the road. It would have made me feel so special if I could have just been worthy of that.

Edited March 27, 2008 by sedgwick

[youngbuckkk]

The OP seriously just needs to grow up. WTF did you expect getting into a relationship with an 18 year old girl when you are a grown man? Stop whining and stalking and just grow up.

[sedgwick]

The OP seriously just needs to grow up. WTF did you expect getting into a relationship with an 18 year old girl when you are a grown man? Stop whining and stalking and just grow up.

 

Young Buckkk (what's with the KKK, anyway?!), how would you feel if someone talked to you like that when you were just here looking for help?

[Lovegod]

I can't even begin to state how utterly and completely offensive and wrong this is.

 

Sorry. I'd kiss and make it better, but that's probably offensive and wrong too. Instead, I give you a bunny:

 

I honest to god probably would have cried with joy if he'd brought me a rock. Forget jewelry, I just wanted something free that he picked up alongside the road. It would have made me feel so special if I could have just been worthy of that.

 

Regardless, thank you for posting this. It just goes to show that you don't need to buy a women expensive 5hit to make her happy. A meaningless rock can have value.

 

The problem with the OP is he went overboard (whereas your ex was the complete opposite - he did nothing).

 

There is a good time to use romantic gestures, and doing them when a woman is being a rotten bitch is the wrong time. If I were the original poster, I would have picked up that rock and thrown it at her. He got used and abused... badly.

[youngbuckkk]

Young Buckkk (what's with the KKK, anyway?!), how would you feel if someone talked to you like that when you were just here looking for help?

 

If it was a 36 year old man whining and saying my life is over after getting dumped by an 18 year old girl I would deserve any criticism IMO. How would you feel if your 18 year old daughter was being courted by a man twice her age? How would you suggest helping him, telling him that it will be ok and that he will find another great girl? He needs to learn that girls in their teens are not relationship material for a man his age.

 

And why are you trying to make something out of my username? Very mature.

[sedgwick]

Dear Buckkk,

 

Not "making something" out of your name at all, just wondering why you chose three Ks. Given that it does not require three Ks to make the sound of a single one, and given that "KKK" has negative connotations, I found myself wondering why you had chosen to use three of them in your name. So if curiosity is immature, so be it, I'm immature! Been called far worse and have no doubt I will be again.

 

If I had an 18-year-old daughter, I would, first of all, have gotten pregnant entirely too young, and would hopefully have managed to be a decent parent nonetheless. And I would certainly hope that I'd be cognizant of her whereabouts, and would know the friends with whom she associated! However, sounds like this girl's parents might have been a different story. I agree with you absolutely that a teenager is not relationship material for an adult in his 30s, and said so in my original response!

 

I think there are ways to express concern without name-calling, and hope you will join me in attempting to elevate the boards to the level of compassion and understanding I would hope for for myself. I mean, I resisted my usual compulsion to correct the OP's spelling -- figured I was coming down on him enough already! I mean, we can't HEAR him "whining," so we don't know that he is, n'est-ce pas? And nobody "deserves" to be berated for feeling what they're feeling. He deserves the same rights here that you have, to speak and be spoken to in a civil manner.

Edited March 27, 2008 by sedgwick

[youngbuckkk]

First, I just don't understand the point of you all of a sudden bringing up three K's in my username? I believe I have communicated with you in threads before and it never seemed to cross your mind then. Just seems like you are trying to bring this up now simply because you and I don't see eye to eye on this topic. I don't know what led me to use three ks at the end of my name, but I can assure you that is has nothing to do with what you are trying to imply.

 

Now back to the OP, I see the real problem being that he doesn't understand that women that age are not good for him. Who was I calling names? I simply said what my take is on this whole situation, he needs to realize that he is the adult here, and he shouldn't be getting into relationships with children. I may have been harsh, it just seems like common sense to me.

[sedgwick]

First, I just don't understand the point of you all of a sudden bringing up three K's in my username? I believe I have communicated with you in threads before and it never seemed to cross your mind then.

 

Sure did, I just never said anything. I'm a Southerner. Those of us who can spell notice the old triple-K.

[Uchiha Sasuke]

Man, he should have just had his fun and screwed her.

 

Nothing wrong with that. Why should I get with someone my own age when I can have fun with someone younger and hotter? I'm 26 and I LOVE having sex with 19 year olds. They aren't relationship material, however and the OP should have realized that.

 

He shouldn't have fell for her, now he's THINKS that this young immature woman has a piece of his soul.

 

Rubbish.

[sedgwick]

Someone who loves having sex with 19-year-olds has never known the joy of having sex with a woman in her 30s. I can say unequivocally that, while I may have been skinnier back then, I am a much, MUCH better lover now.

 

And I think Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirren, Judy Davis, Demi Moore, and other hopelessly sexy older-than-19 women would agree...

[vulcan]

No listen everyone, I totaly accept and can take any critisism thrown at me good or bad: however, I always felt I was a compassionate person and when I love something I LOVE something. I can not help what I feel or for the fact that I let myself fall for a young girl. I serriously felt bad for her because of her lack of having a decent family life and no supportive parents. she was so withdrawn, shy and depressed when I met her. When she met me I made her feel good that in turn made me feel good and the next thing you I know I fell for her. I also felt that I would rather her be with me than to have her bounce around from guy to guy getting hurt or used in such a way that she would never get a chance to know that someone did love her I don't know. I really had no ill intentions nor did I EVER excpect to fall for a young girl but like I stated I DID fall for her and I'm the type of person that doesn't follow what rules and stigmas that are set forth by todays society or what they think is acceptable or not. Alittle history lesson, It was not uncommon and even in alot of parts of the world an older guy marrying a younger girl was not only acceptable but was encouraged. Look back thoughout history many men in society had younger brides it was not as uncoomon as many of you thik it was socialy acceptable. now I could see if I was someone that went out prowling for young girls sure then you would all have a case, however I have dated many girls my age my ex Gf I dated was 2 years younger than I we dated for 8 years. My point Im trying tomake is I can not no matter how I tried be able to tell my heart who to love or how to feel it does what it does. it is not like I don't have a life. In fact, Iam a pilot I fly planes, I have a motorcycle love to fish and camp and by all accounts a typical guy that just happened to end up in something and regardless I have dated girlds my own age that were less mature than the 18 year old in all reality. So age is a number and doesn't mean squat to me.

[Uchiha Sasuke]

Someone who loves having sex with 19-year-olds has never known the joy of having sex with a woman in her 30s. I can say unequivocally that, while I may have been skinnier back then, I am a much, MUCH better lover now.

 

And I think Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirren, Judy Davis, Demi Moore, and other hopelessly sexy older-than-19 women would agree...

 

Who says the guy ONLY has sex with 19 year olds? Who says I ONLY have sex with 19 year olds?

 

 

Your vagina might taste like pumpkin pie, but if I look at you and don't get hard...

 

I might go out shopping again.

 

Hm. How much weight did you actually gain?

And SORRY, when Hanna Montana turns 18 she'll be infinitely more hotter that the older women you just described. COMBINED. Banging younger girls when guys get older is one of our many perks. There are more young girls who LOOK like Hanna Montana that there are older women who look like Demi Moore. From my experience anyways.

 

I'm the type of person that doesn't follow what rules and stigmas that are set forth by todays society or what they think is acceptable or not.

How dare you put yourself above common sense. There is a such thing as GROWING UP, despite these "social stigmas" that you're going on about. She's in her "discovering herself" phase. Remember when YOU were 18? Remember when YOU had those?

 

 

Alittle history lesson, It was not uncommon and even in alot of parts of the world an older guy marrying a younger girl was not only acceptable but was encouraged.

Yes yes I cannot argue here! However despite our natural roles society has bent and twisted how we go about doing this. Girls and Boys mature at a much SLOWER rate nowadays. Don't ask me why. There's so much dark history to it. However the young girls I'm sure had more pressure to grow up. Not saying that's a bad thing but that's how it was.

 

 

now I could see if I was someone that went out prowling for young girls sure then you would all have a case,

 

Nope! Nothing wrong with that!

 

 

So age is a number and doesn't mean squat to me.

Having gotten some of that crap out of the way. Does maturity mean "squat" to you?

 

So easy to defend your position but you're an emotional wreck.

 

Laaadeedaaa. Wonder why?

Edited March 27, 2008 by Uchiha Sasuke

[mas21]

unfortunately, she doesnt want you. She comes back to you because you are like a father figure to her, always there and give her comfort and support when she needs it. As soon as something better comes along she flees because she can get that comfort from them. So dont waste your time plus the age difference is a little too much. I am 22 and from 18 till now i have changed a ton, she is at a different time in her life and by her saying she is not happy with most aspects of your life that makes you you, shows that you are not what she is looking for.

[sedgwick]

Your vagina might taste like pumpkin pie, but if I look at you and don't get hard...

 

Hm. How much weight did you actually gain?

 

This is just vile. There is absolutely no need to speak to women like this, here or anywhere. Just reading this sort of comment makes me nauseous.

 

Mods, if you're reading, can this be deleted?

[Uchiha Sasuke]

This is just vile. There is absolutely no need to speak to women like this, here or anywhere. Just reading this sort of comment makes me nauseous.

 

Mods, if you're reading, can this be deleted?

 

 

 

 

Seriously I apologize if that was offensive to you. Talking about how your vagina might taste like a certain fruity pie is rather personal, and I won't be talking about it again. Anyways it was a hypothetical. I wasn't personally talking about YOUR vagina.

 

I would never know how your vagina would taste. That's a FACT!

 

 

Yet you want to say guys are missing out on an older woman. You're pretty much discriminating against the younger ones, saying that guys are missing out? Ludicrous!

 

 

If you can look past my offensive comment about your vagina and how it taste, please address the rest of it.

[BladeSteel]

Seriously I apologize if that was offensive to you.

 

I think we can all learn from this. All vaginas are different, in feel, looks, AND taste. Age of the vagina may not have anything to do with it, after all, the older the violin, the sweeter the music! There is no right or wrong here, just preferences.

 

Let's acknowledge this lesson, and move forward.

[Lovegod]

Remember when YOU were 18? Remember when YOU had those?

 

Oh man...

 

Sorry Sedgwick, but that was just funny. And how did we get on the topic of vaginas?

 

I also have to agree with Uchiha that women who are between the ages of 18 and 25 are more attractive than women in their 30s. I can't blame the OP for wanting to be with an 18 year old. At 18, the girl is full of life, has beautiful skin, and (can) have a glorious figure to die for.

 

After 30, a woman's looks usually begin to decline sharply, the biological clock starts ticking, and if she's never been married, she's usually hellbent to do so.

 

Tell yourself how closed-minded we all are, but the fact is a man will want a woman who looks good before he wants a woman who behaves well.

[Uchiha Sasuke]

The order (for MOST guys) is usually LOOKS first, quality second. If they're good looking but don't have much else to offer then they only stay around for so long. (Sex doesn't keep a guy LTR wise. Maybe for a couple of months, but that's it)

[Prosecco]

No listen everyone, I totaly accept and can take any critisism thrown at me good or bad: however, I always felt I was a compassionate person and when I love something I LOVE something. I can not help what I feel or for the fact that I let myself fall for a young girl. I serriously felt bad for her because of her lack of having a decent family life and no supportive parents. she was so withdrawn, shy and depressed when I met her. When she met me I made her feel good that in turn made me feel good and the next thing you I know I fell for her. I also felt that I would rather her be with me than to have her bounce around from guy to guy getting hurt or used in such a way that she would never get a chance to know that someone did love her I don't know. I really had no ill intentions nor did I EVER excpect to fall for a young girl but like I stated I DID fall for her and I'm the type of person that doesn't follow what rules and stigmas that are set forth by todays society or what they think is acceptable or not. Alittle history lesson, It was not uncommon and even in alot of parts of the world an older guy marrying a younger girl was not only acceptable but was encouraged. Look back thoughout history many men in society had younger brides it was not as uncoomon as many of you thik it was socialy acceptable. now I could see if I was someone that went out prowling for young girls sure then you would all have a case, however I have dated many girls my age my ex Gf I dated was 2 years younger than I we dated for 8 years. My point Im trying tomake is I can not no matter how I tried be able to tell my heart who to love or how to feel it does what it does. it is not like I don't have a life. In fact, Iam a pilot I fly planes, I have a motorcycle love to fish and camp and by all accounts a typical guy that just happened to end up in something and regardless I have dated girlds my own age that were less mature than the 18 year old in all reality. So age is a number and doesn't mean squat to me.

 

 

It seems to me that you've picked up on one point of the advice, and ignored all the rest. Ultimately - it's irrelevant whether you truly love this girl or not. She comes across as bad news, she comes across as incredibly immature. The fact you may have dated people your own age who were less mature is irrelevant. This girl will continue to use you unless you stop her.

You have a choice - continue to be used, be miserable, be involved with someone who is naturally going to be immature and bratty. Or - get her out of your life and move on.

 

Everyone here is telling you to get rid of this girl - for your sake and hers. And, as bonus advice - people are suggesting you go for people your own age. You don't have to consider the second part - but the first part is very important.

 

I mean - seriously - what were you hoping to hear?

And don't put it down to us not knowing how hard it is to cut someone out of your life if you love them - I think most of the posters here have the scars of a broken heart.

 

 

p.s. the fact you could, in the past, marry a 13 year old - doesn't make it right. Slavery was also socially acceptable. It was also considered legally impossible for a husband to rape their wife. Times change, and sometimes for the better. There is a reason everyone is commenting on the age gap. The older you BOTH are, the less important the gap is - but at 18, however much she may not look it, or, in your eyes, act is - she's still a child!