EllieBear Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Those 9 little words!! Oh the horror! Okay so the guy I like said this to me. What I get from this is...he likes me because he's getting sex BUT he doesn't see me as someone he wants to date right? He told me he likes me but is going through a lot right now with school, work and we live 2 hours away from each other...so basically he just doesn't want to date me right? Then why would he drive two hours to spend the weekend with me, when I'm sure he can get it 2 mins away? HELP!
xpaperxcutx Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Guys are not difficult creatures to figure out. More often than not, their only objective is to get laid. They have no need for emotional affections, unless they really want it. Apparently with this guy, he had gotten what he wanted all along. Sex without the emotional attachment. You've basically became his f**k buddy. It sounds like you're emotionally invested. I suggest you break it off before you get hurt any further. He's not willing to invest anything more in you. And for you to even consider questioning his motives is a waste of time. The only reasons why he even invested what little he did was because a) he gets to have sex, and b) he had no other things to do. Sorry to be so harsh, but you mustn't think otherwise. Don't think of any other reasons to justify his actions any further.
Author EllieBear Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 Thanks for asnwering my question. I knew all along it was a sexual attraction..guess I just need to stop this like you said before I get too attached...But why does he when we are together cuddle with me, hold my hand, kiss me on the head..and be sweet?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Thanks for asnwering my question. I knew all along it was a sexual attraction..guess I just need to stop this like you said before I get too attached...But why does he when we are together cuddle with me, hold my hand, kiss me on the head..and be sweet? When he has already said what's been on his mind, you should take his word for it, because he was being (brutally) honest, and you should not overanalyze his actions any further. It really doesn't matter at this point anyhow to question why he was so affectionate to you. The problem is not you. If he begins to contradict himself, then it's really him to begin with. I'm sure you're a great girl, and it's truly his lost.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 He's mentally moved on from you and you need to do the same. Don't be surprised if he calls or contacts you in 6 months.....however, just forget about him and move on.
Author EllieBear Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 Why do you say he has mentally moved on?
Saxis Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 How is it that he came to tell you this? Was "taking it to the next step" brought up somewhere in conversation? I could easily see how "I don't know what I want..." could be translated as "I don't know if weekends only is worth 4 hours of driving..." in this situation though, whether he wants a relationship or just sex. Either way, you both apparently want different things, so end it before you get hurt more.
Krytie TV Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 He wants to continue having sex with you but also wants the option to walk away whenever he feels like it. Driving the distance to you has nothing to do with it. If he wants something, he'll drive to get it. If he decides to get it somewhere else, he won't.
AussieJack Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Thanks for asnwering my question. I knew all along it was a sexual attraction..guess I just need to stop this like you said before I get too attached...But why does he when we are together cuddle with me, hold my hand, kiss me on the head..and be sweet? LIsten to me- I am a man and I know how men think. THis guy LIKES you a lot. he is driving all that distance to be with YOU, not some random woman for sex. He can get that anywhere, anytime...for the price of two drinks and cab fare. How do I know what I am talking about ? BEcause I did exactly what he is doing with you and I was crazy about the woman. For pete's sake, do not listen to the sour, and envious 'advice' that you are getting from some of the hens on this site. They have no idea how men think or feel or what motivates them to want to be with a woman..
SeraBella Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 LIsten to me- I am a man and I know how men think. THis guy LIKES you a lot. he is driving all that distance to be with YOU, not some random woman for sex. He can get that anywhere, anytime...for the price of two drinks and cab fare. How do I know what I am talking about ? BEcause I did exactly what he is doing with you and I was crazy about the woman. For pete's sake, do not listen to the sour, and envious 'advice' that you are getting from some of the hens on this site. They have no idea how men think or feel or what motivates them to want to be with a woman.. Aussie doesn't usually give nice advice like this. I don't know if he's right, but he rarely gives opinions women like to hear.
Covonia Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Aussie doesn't usually give nice advice like this. I don't know if he's right, but he rarely gives opinions women like to hear. He's spot on with what he says, the man in question does like you, he's just got other things on his mind at the moment. Give him sometime and the fact he travels two hours to be with you when he can pick up women locally says it all for me. When will you women wake up and realise a man's action means more than his words. You say us men don't pick up on women, well you women for the most part are exactly the same.
AussieJack Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 When will you women wake up and realise a man's action means more than his words. You say us men don't pick up on women, well you women for the most part are exactly the same. Ding, ding - give the man a cigar ! He is on the money. AJ says, "The greatest truth is in their behavior"...
Author EllieBear Posted March 27, 2008 Author Posted March 27, 2008 Thank you very much for this! It def made me smile! I'm glad I got a man's view on this! I know he likes me, bc if he didnt like you said wouldn't drive two hours to just sleep with me when i'm sure he can get it anywhere. I guess I just have to wait it out and just continue to just hang out with him and see where it leads... Why are men so hard to figure out!!?
Covonia Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Thank you very much for this! It def made me smile! I'm glad I got a man's view on this! I know he likes me, bc if he didnt like you said wouldn't drive two hours to just sleep with me when i'm sure he can get it anywhere. I guess I just have to wait it out and just continue to just hang out with him and see where it leads... Why are men so hard to figure out!!? I'm sure he doesn't travel just to sleep with you, I can tell you that much. He is probably being considerate, if he has a lot on his mind at the moment, then it's probably not the best idea for him to get into a relationship. He might want to wait until life becomes less hectic for him, so he has time to fit you and a relationship into his daily life, (if you understand?). Just enjoy his company and vice versa and see what happen's, if nothing comes of it - then just move on, it's that simple. I could say the exact samething about you women.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 It sounds like he likes you, he likes what you have together but he isn't sure he wants to take it any further than it already is. He is not sure if you are Ms. Right, or Ms. Right Now.
AussieJack Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Why are men so hard to figure out!!? We are not hard at all, the problem is that women overlook the obvious and choose to look for scorpions under every rock. Usually there are no scorpions and most times there are not even any rocks. Your compulsive need to live in fear and mistrust has ruined many potentially great relationships.
MimiMe Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Those 9 little words!! Oh the horror! Okay so the guy I like said this to me. What I get from this is...he likes me because he's getting sex BUT he doesn't see me as someone he wants to date right? He told me he likes me but is going through a lot right now with school, work and we live 2 hours away from each other...so basically he just doesn't want to date me right? Then why would he drive two hours to spend the weekend with me, when I'm sure he can get it 2 mins away? HELP! Respect his position. It will hurt you badly in the end if you press the subject. Take it for what it is... Look at the brighter side, for someone that is going through a lot and is far from you, he still comes to see you... (you are right he can get it around the corner) he must have something unique with you. Give him time... and see where it takes you. Set boundaries though, if he doesnt want to date you- dont give him all the a$$ in the world. This would give him the chance to just use you then.
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