What does this say about me?

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Recently I have gone out on a date with a 26 yr old woman with a 3 yr old son. It was fun. I liked the fact she has a child my son's age. This past weekend, I met a 21 yr old at a bar. I spent a little time with her at the bar and then went to Denny's for some breakfast with her and her friend, my sister and a couple of my friends. She was cool. I will probably call her tomorrow.

 

And then there is M******. I always buy supplies at Staples for my boss' company. I have to go every now and then, but do my bulk shopping once every 2 or 3 months. Today was that day. Well, the last few times I have gone, I have seen a new girl working in the copy area. She is a very pretty (and I now know) hard working person. She has 2 jobs and is about to start going back to school. She is Hispanic (which is a huge plus for me). I asked her questions about her. She started asking questions about me. She was always smiling and very eager to answer any question I threw at her.

 

Here is the catch:

 

Of the girls I have been talking to recently, I like this girl the most, even though I have spent less time with her (maybe 40 minutes of conversation at most). When I asked her how old she was, she told me 19. When she asked my age, I told her 30, which didnt seem to phase her. She actually told me she thought I was 25.

 

Before I left, she gave me her number. I didnt even ask for it (a first for me). I do plan to call her and maybe go out with her some. This weekend, I will be buying her a cup of coffee only since she will be busy the rest of the weekend with both of her jobs. I know the age gap is big, but of the 3 girls, I am interested in this one the most.

 

Is it bad that I am 30 and I am willing to pursue a 19 year old? I dont see anything wrong with it (at least from my family stand point - My mom having 2 daughters with a man 15 years older than her and my sister being in love with a man 14 years older than her). I guess I am pretty much asking the general public. Will it be frowned upon to go out with her as friends... or can a 30 year old be friends with a 19 year old?

[Legend]

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Major Props to you man. Men get refined, women get replaced. It's the way the world works. Congrats!

[Saxis]

Who exactly are you worried about "frowning" upon this? You approve, she approves, your family approves... Who gives a shiat what other people think?

[BlueHaiku]

Like Saxis, I don't see any problem with it either. No one seems to have a problem here - go for it!

 

However, I'll throw in one complication. It depends on what you're looking for. A 19 year old almost certainly has very different life outlook, priorities, and concerns, than a 30 year old, especially a 30 year old with a child. You may pursue it only to find out that you're pretty incompatible at your mutual phases of life.

 

This doesn't mean you shouldn't try for it, but I would be up front with her about where you are in life & what you're looking for and ask her the questions too.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Who exactly are you worried about "frowning" upon this? You approve, she approves, your family approves... Who gives a shiat what other people think?

 

I guess no one, really. Just honestly didnt think I would be dating someone under 25 anymore. So did not really think about it.

 

 

This doesn't mean you shouldn't try for it, but I would be up front with her about where you are in life & what you're looking for and ask her the questions too.

 

The thing is, I honestly dont know what I want anymore. I had a family and really enjoyed it, but now that I will be getting my own apartment soon (ex-wife gets the house) and will be getting my own things, I am looking forward to the single life. I really think I will be happy with both, which ever happens. I just want a girl I like to hang out with. =)

 

I have seen the girl the last couple of weeks, but only started talking to her last night. I will see how it goes.

[Saxis]

I guess no one, really. Just honestly didnt think I would be dating someone under 25 anymore. So did not really think about it.

 

 

The thing is, I honestly dont know what I want anymore. I had a family and really enjoyed it, but now that I will be getting my own apartment soon (ex-wife gets the house) and will be getting my own things, I am looking forward to the single life. I really think I will be happy with both, which ever happens. I just want a girl I like to hang out with. =)

 

I have seen the girl the last couple of weeks, but only started talking to her last night. I will see how it goes.

 

I understand completely. I'm in the same exact situation with an XW and kid. There's a 19 year old that wants to date me, and so far I haven't taken any initiative. I see quite a bit of immaturity there and that's something I can't stand.

 

Enjoying the single life again is great after being tied down but yeah, there are many times I still wish I had someone to spend some time with.

[Balthazar]

It is your DUTY to date this fine young woman. She is of legal age and gave you her number.

Age-difference means nothing, all that matters is that you two want get to know each other.

Will society notice?

Yes. Men will be admiring and/or envious while many women will disapproving or outright hostile.

But as Saxis said

Who gives a shiat what other people think?

Show the lady a good time and enjoy yourself.

[AussieJack]

It is your DUTY to date this fine young woman. She is of legal age and gave you her number.

Age-difference means nothing, all that matters is that you two want get to know each other.

Will society notice?

Yes. Men will be admiring and/or envious while many women will disapproving or outright hostile.

But as Saxis saidShow the lady a good time and enjoy yourself.

 

YEah, this is good advice. I agree..

AS a man is it your DUTY to date a fine sexy young women who wants to date you. It would be selfish of you to turn her down or not give her what she wants - TIME with you.

I am 47 and last night I was a out dancing with a 20 year old who just adores me. Who can blame her !

I catch shyte from older women about dating "Your daughter" but I am not interested in their approval or otherwise.

HOwever I need to tell you that 20 year olds are still in a "party girl " mindset - all fun and no responsibility. SO date the young ones for the fun factor. .and the older ones for the deeper rewards..

 

Good hunting,soldier.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Well, I contacted the 21 year old tonight, instead of tomorrow. My attitude is pretty much 'I dont care if she goes out with me' and i guess it worked.

 

I sent her a text say "How you doin'?" She responded back that she was doing good. We chatted for a sec and then asked when I was going to come look at lights (She works at a place that deals with specialty light fixtures... my boss is a custom home builder and buys from her job all the time.) Anyways, i told her i had a little time tomorrow while I was taking care of the rest of my apartment stuff. I told her when I could drop by and she said she would be out to lunch. Now, I could have changed my schedule, but I didnt. I told her I was sorry and that I would have to make it up to her with dinner. She asked 'When?' and I mentioned tomorrow night. She said ok.

 

So, I am taking V****** out to Cheese Cake Factory tomorrow night. We will see how it goes.

[BlueHaiku]

Enjoy! Let us know how it goes!

[D-Lish]

Will society notice?

Yes. Men will be admiring and/or envious while many women will disapproving or outright hostile.

But as Saxis saidShow the lady a good time and enjoy yourself

 

I don't think the majority of women will be disapproving or hostile...

It's so hard to discern people's ages nowadays. People will probably just see you as a couple- I know I would.

 

My close male friend recently started dating a 20 year old and he is 35. He looks great for his age and she is very mature, not to mention lovely and kind. If I didn't know their ages- I wouldn't really notice the difference.

 

Yes, there is a possibility that a 19 year old might be in a different place and phase in her life which might cause some compatibility problems- but since you are recently seperated- it's not like you are in a hurry to get married again.

 

Have fun and enjoy your single life. If there are compatibility issues- they will surface quickly, so you'll know. You won't know if you don't try... so go for it.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Sent a message to the 19yr olf today asking when I should expect a coffee date. She said she needed one 'NOW'. So, I asked her out and she said she couldnt leave work. So, I... being the nice guy, but only this once.... bought her a cup and took it to her at her job. Wlked in, she said 'Hi' and I said 'I really need to get back to work. Sorry i cannot chat' (I was already out for lunch... and she works right around the corner from my job.) She sent me a text a few minutes later thanking me and another after that telling me it was very good coffee. Anyways, seemed I did something good.

 

I am about to leave to get ready for my date with the 21yr old. I am going to summon forth some Gold Pile date techniques. Tonight is 1 dollar bowling at a bowling alley near me.... Here i go!

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

Well, last night was cool how it turned out.

 

The 21 yr old sent me a text an hour before our date and had to cancel. She forgot it was her brother's birthday... no biggie. I have forgot my family's before too.

 

About 30 minutes after, the 19 yr old called me and asked if I would join her for dinner. I had already ate, so I offered my company and she took it. We sat and talked, well, she did mostly, but I didnt mind. She talked about her college and her 2 jobs. Talked about what she wanted to do for a living when she was done with everything. She talked about her family a little and things she used to like but does not like now. We sat and talked for about an hour.

 

When we were done, i went to a friends house and talked to him for a bit. While I was there, the 19yr old thanked me for the company. I told her I enjoyed it too and said I would like to do it again. She sgreed.

 

The 21 yr old also sent a text about then asking if i hated her. I asked her 'For what?' She replied 'For canceling last minute' and i said 'Not at all'. She said her family was still there visiting, so I told her to conact me when she was not busy. She sent a text back about 15 minutes later saying 'Tomorrow?' and i said 'Whenever'.

 

I had left my friend's house by now and went home. About 12:30, the 19 yr old calls me. I answer and ask 'You were confident I was not asleep, werent you?' and she said 'I am sorry, i didnt think about it. I will let you go.' I told her it was ok and we talked for a bit about a concert coming to town and more about her family.' She then told me she had to go. About 10 minutes later, she texted me asking if i liked her in her work clothes or her normal clothes (I thought this was strnage, but i guess she has a low self esteem maybe?). I told her I thought she was prety in her work clothes since that is how I met her, but normal clothes were fine too. She asked what i liked about her and I told her I like her eyes. She then said 'You like my dark eyes with my dark hair?'.... of course i said yes. Its why I love all Hispanic women! I told her good night and that was it.

 

Good evening. Different than what i expected. I liked it.

[Balthazar]

A word of advice.

Don't overdo the text messages and phone contact with this woman.

It may be natural for a 19-year old old to text so often, but not for someone older. You need to stress factors that attracted her to you(as a mature , older guy), and avoid doing things a guy her age would do.

 

Her "canceling last minute, rescheduling later" was a test.

[LosingMyDreamGirl]

I needed to give a big update.

 

The night after my last update, I went out wit the 21 yr old. We went to a nice dinner and had a good time. She was very funny and made me laugh more than I probably made her laugh. I can see why Humor is so important to women. It was a lot of fun. My ex-wife was not near as funny as the 21 yr old.

 

Anyways, after dinner, we were gunna go bowling, but she suggested we just go somewhere and watch a movie in my car. I agreed ( and thought it was strange that she would trust a new date to do something like this ), so we went to th nearest mall and parked in a dark part of the parking lot and watched a movie. During the movie, she made me feel that she wanted me to move her closer to me or touch her, but I didnt. I was unsure of her intentions. I did not want to read her actions the wrong way. After the movie was over, I took her back to her car and she gave me a very big full frontal hug that lasted about 15 seconds. She even laid her head on my chest.

 

After that night (Friday night) I talked to her a few times in text. She would always avoid the thought of me calling her and it made me feel uneasy, like she was hiding something. After a couple more days of talking to her, I felt like I might be a guy she is wanting to see behind her boyfriend/husbands back, so I have not talked to her since then.

 

Now back to the 19yr old. Since last Friday, she has called me everynight. She called me Fri, Sat, Sun and Mon night.

 

Monday morning, I got a text from her talking about that she had straightened her hair for the day (she normally does not do this because she is busy). Then a little later, she told me she would be at her job that is near my job. I told her that I might have to come up there and see her. (I had told her something like this on Sunday too, but did not go and see her). She said that i could 'do whatever I wanted'. A little later, she said something again about being at work and I said 'I think you want me to come up there and see you' and she responded 'I think youre looking too much into what I have been saying. If you want to come, you can come, but it was your idea.... but it would be nice to see you.'

 

I thought that was a good thing, so I drove up to her job about 20 minutes before she got off. As soon as I walked in, she had a huge smile on her face. She told me she didnt think I was going to come. I told her I was full of surprises. We talked for about 20 minutes and then she had to leave to her other job. She called me later that night and told me how horrible her day was. That it sucked at her first job and second job. I asked her if the whole day was really that bad and she said 'Not all of it... I got to see you.' Made me feel good again.

 

Tuesday I did not talk to her much. She never called me that night. Did not talk to her much on Weds. She called me Weds night and we talked for an hour and a half. She told me she was confused because her ex-boyfriend came to see her and wanted her back. Her was crying and acting ways she had never seen. I was 'there' for her, but I knew where this was going, so the conversation eventually ended and I did not contact her the next day (Thursday).

 

I had thought about going and seeing her at work Thursday night, but knew it was a bad idea, so just went and ate dinner and went home.

 

That brings us up to today. She texted me about 3 hours ago asking if I was off today. I told her I wasnt, but I run my boss' business, so I can pretty much leave when i want. She wanted me to go with her to get her oil changed on her car. Boring, but I thought it was a kind of cool time to ask someone to go out and do something. I offered, but she called back and canceled that and asked me to go shopping with her at the new mall near our jobs.

 

So, she came to my job and I rode with her. First we got something for her sister and then we started shopping for summer clothes for her. She picked through a bunch of things and started trying on (and showing me) some awesome shorts she liked.... she loves short shorts.... i guess I do too now =P She eventually picked out what she wanted, but in the outfits she chose, she kept the shorts and shirt I liked best too.

 

After we were done shopping, she brought me back to my job and told her bye. She thanked me for the company and left to her house.

 

I dont know what to think anymore. She knows my reasons for talking to her. She knows I am attracted to her and she says she is attracted to me. She never brings up my age or says anything that makes me feel old(er). She does not talk about other guys (except for weds night about her ex-boyfriend.... which I forgot to mention that I told her I was talking to/seeing another girl).

 

If she was 25+ years old, I would think she was in to me and is just taking it very slow. But because she is 19, i dont know what to think. I am unsure to her intentions and feelings. She knows I am not looking to be 'just friends'.

 

What should I do? Anything promising about this? Have a been put into the friend-zone?

[fishtaco]

She shouldn't have brought up the drama with the ex boyfriend. I think it's okay to talk about an ex, I do if the conversation topic goes there. But to have drama so recent, plus instead of saying stuff like "he was so sad, it made me feel sad because I still care about him, but it's over" type stuff, she said she was confused. That's a negative sign (unless she did say something like she won't go back to the boyfriend).

 

All the hanging out big smiles type stuff, don't count as positives either. Because they could all be explained away with "just being friendly".

 

So I think what you should do now is to get a real date out of her. Like one that will likely conclude with kisses or something more. Because everything she has done with you that you described so far shows she likes you, but nothing to indicate she likes you romantically.

 

But good job, I love Hispanic women too.