Ocean-Blue Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It all really depends on the reasons for leaving. Certain things are dealbreakers (i.e. no passion) for some while others can live with it.
sedona Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 No, they don't always come back. And no matter how horrible it is for you when you 're missing them, in the end it's for the best. For your best. Unless you happen to be living in a light American romantic comedy film --there they come back!
Bobby.Roy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I don't really know whether they come back or not, but going by the experiences of different people who have had heart-break(s), they dont generally come back..Sad, but its true.. If a feeling is gone from the heart, then its gone..Its really hard for that feeling to rekindle again in their heart.. But, still i am optimistic that perhaps, someday, she would come back to me with that same old love and care that she had for me..Damn! This really hurts..
SeraBella Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 No, they don't always come back. And usually when they do it's not the same as before...both people have grown and changed...not together...and you may realize they are no longer the person you once thought they were. It can work out, but it is rare that it does. Now is the time to be selfish! Enjoy yourself! Live for YOU. You're the one who matters most in your life (unless you have children - but even then you are still pretty damned important)...so focus on yourself...hobbies, activities, movies, television...it's all what you want. No one else to worry about.
carhill Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 All else being equal, if the break is sudden and emotional, then high probability of return, at least temporarily. If effected after long thought and contemplation, then low probability of return. Also, with the latter, increased possibility of interest in another person, making return even less likely.
Ofleg7 Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Harsh, but it's for the best to believe that they won't come back. Not saying there's no chance, but that's the best way to go about it. If a feeling is gone from the heart, then its gone..Its really hard for that feeling to rekindle again in their heart.. Hard, but not impossible. Everybody probably knows this already but you've got to not let her know that you're feeling down about the break. You've got to be strong and ok with it (or at least try to pretend to be). She didnt fall in love with you when you were all depressed and mopey, she fell in love with the old you (funny? smart? laid back?), and that's who you have to try to be again to stand a chance. The best way to achieve that (in my opinion anyway) is to forget about her as best you can and get on with your life..carry on where you left off before you got together. But, still i am optimistic that perhaps, someday, she would come back to me with that same old love and care that she had for me..Damn! This really hurts.. I feel you. Optimism is good.. and bad because you shouldn't get your hopes up, something that I have to learn too, definetly don't let her know that you're optimistic about the future. I wish you all peace x
LuCidiTy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 they always come back. not necessarily realizing what they missed though. usually it's for some more selfish reason.
Lishy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Realizing what they missed? Only if they have missed it!
Bobby.Roy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 they always come back. not necessarily realizing what they missed though. usually it's for some more selfish reason. Selfish reason, like? Please explain so that it helps us all..
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Sometimes they come back, and it is not long before they remember why they left in the first place and will break your heart again when they leave the second time. The selfish reasons? Nostalgia, guilt, loneliness, they miss the sex and aren't getting any otherwise, etc.
insideout121 Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and last Saturday night was our first time talking face to face in 3 months and she told me she really misses me and still loves me..
Bobby.Roy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 The selfish reasons? Nostalgia, guilt, loneliness, they miss the sex and aren't getting any otherwise, etc. So, does that mean that they aren't gonna come back for 'genuine' reason, but only because they feel the lack of sex or feel alone? This is sad..
sandflea Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 In my experience - Yes - they always do. It might be curiosity, or guilt, or shame, or lonliness.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 So, does that mean that they aren't gonna come back for 'genuine' reason, but only because they feel the lack of sex or feel alone? This is sad.. It depends, Bobby - some come back for genuine reasons and some don't. There is no formula for figuring out which is which. So many factors are involved: how they broke up, how long they were falling out of love, whether or not they are dating now (and striking out), etc. No one pat answer, I'm afraid.
LuCidiTy Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 yes, what Lucrezia said...there's no real way to tell why they come back, and if you still care and if you're still hoping and if you take this as a purely good sign, you might be disappointed and get hurt all over again. that's where the rub lies. you just don't really know why they come back. thing is they usually do.
kissingthecheek Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Yes. But the saying, "You can't go back home" is true. It's not really ever the same.
stoneymirror Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I got back with a gf after something like 8 yrs, only took me 2 months to figure out she wasn't the girl I wanted. It's sad but you break up for a reason, and people don't change that much over time, and your expectations and needs change along the way.
sedona Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and last Saturday night was our first time talking face to face in 3 months and she told me she really misses me and still loves me.. Wow! So what are you going to do? If you want to share, of course...
insideout121 Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Wow! So what are you going to do? If you want to share, of course... Here is the brief history, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t147524/ Ill listen to what she has to say but i honestly dont think i will look to get back with her.
PinkRibbon Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I don't think they come back. If so I guess it was not meant to be for me. But if they do come back do you really want them back after all the pain they have inflicted on you?
dfreeman Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I have been on both side of this coin (not my recent ex though) and both times, the comeback was long after the final buzzer. When I tried to get an ex back about 13 years ago, she had totally healed and fallen completely out of love for me. Even though she was available at the time, she couldn't see putting all the work she did on the line for somebody that broke her heart. I have posted in other threads about how much pain and regret I had from this - which just broke her heart further because she didn't get any pleasure or satisfaction from seeing me hurt like that! About 7 years ago, a woman that broke up with me did the same thing - she didn't wait as long as I did in the first scenario, but she gave me enough time to clear my head and realize that I was settling for her and could do much better. My recent ex is right on the bubble with me - I am still holding on to a small string for her, but the amount of change necessary on her part (I have already accepted accountability and given a heartfelt apology for my mistakes) is something that I don't think she can handle emotionally. I am not hooked-up yet, but with the few dates I have been on since our breakup (not to mention the really cute and sweet woman I met last night), I can already see the benefits of leaving her in my past.
sedgwick Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 (edited) I thought everything was going great with mine, and then he dumped me one morning and I never saw him again. That was last July. We haven't spoken since August. The last thing I said to him before he stopped speaking to me was, "I love you unconditionally, always, for exactly the person you are." I would give anything in the world to have him back. I don't need him to change, I don't need him to apologize, I wouldn't ask for a thing from him. I just want another chance to love him for the beautiful person he is. But I just simply wasn't good enough for him, and because of that, I know he's not coming back. Edited March 26, 2008 by sedgwick
Prosecco Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and last Saturday night was our first time talking face to face in 3 months and she told me she really misses me and still loves me.. Mine misses me. However, I suspect only as a mate. To stop me building false hope, I remind myself that he only misses me because he chooses not to be with me.
Prosecco Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 I just simply wasn't good enough for him, and because of that, I know he's not coming back. Sedgwick... we've been through this. From all you've posted - more likely - he wasn't good enough for you, and realised it. A lot of blokes can't handle not being the 'best' in the relationship. I suspect your talents and successes made him insecure. Seriously - your constant downer on yourself might seem to help because it gives you a reason you can understand - but it'll hurt in the long run. And trust me - I've been doing the 'you're just not good enough' to myself too. And it's COMPLETE BOLLOCKS. If you love someone completely, and they reject it - it's their loss - and a BIG loss.
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