wonderinwhatsup Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 Many of yall are aware of the situation i had with my ex. Ever since she got a new boyfriend she had been contacting me regularly even though I was trying to do NC. We had been very close, even through the breakup and we still saw each other and did things together like a couple. As soon as the new guy came into her life I knew that I couldn't just sit and be friends with her hoping that she would come back. So yea she had been contacting me and seemed surprised and maybe even hurt that I wasn't responding. But now I wonder if me not responding has been a mistake. She hasn't tried to contact me in a little over a week. I find myself thinking about her throughout the day and wondering what she's doing. It hurts me so much that she has a new bf, but I couldn't understand why she kept trying to talk to me. But now that the contact has stopped I don't know if maybe I screwed up any chance of ever getting back together with her. I want to hear her voice so badly, it takes tremendous will power not to call her right now. I tell myself that I will continue NC until her birthday in May. I told her that no matter what ever happened to us I would always wish her a happy birthday. Yall think thats a good idea or will too much time have passed to hope for anything to happen between us again? Thanks for the comments guys, it really does help.
D-Lish Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 No matter what people like to believe and hope for- keeping a friendship with someone you've dated and still love will only bring you heartache. Believe me when I tell you I have been in your position.... and the best thing I ever did for myself was to walk away from that person. At the moment, you are counting the days until your goal of resuming contact. That is no way to live your life. What you are doing is limiting yourself, stagnating yourself. Every day you wait for her, you waste a day of moving on with your life. That's not really a life at all. You will still love her- staying or going won't change that presently. However, being pro-active and dis-engaging from her is your chance to move forward... to meet someone new, to heal. If you stick around and set contact goals, ie: her b-day in May. All you are doing is stagnating your life. You are closing yourself off from living life without her... from meeting a potentially new girl. In order to move on to recovery, and re-integrate yourself back into everyday life as a single guy- you have to live everyday as if you are single.... why? Because you are. She's with someone else. She's not your gf anymore. You will not find happiness if you wait in the wings hoping for a reconciliation, pining for her. It's time to let go and open yourself up to new adventures and relationships. Don't think about a goal of when you will contact her again. Get grounded and concentrate on moving on for good. It will be your best move in the long run.
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