justagirlforever Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I would say that your definition of a nice guy and my definition of a nice guy are the same. However, it's been my experience that women will eventually become bored with this type of mentality and will end up leaving me or cheating on me with some guy that I consider to be a jerk. That's my difinition too. And yes, I only go for nice guys. Ever. The first signs of being a jerk (rude, selfish, disrespectful etc. etc.) and he's gone. I'm out. I will never ever fall for a guy like that.
justagirlforever Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 The jerk is the guy with confidence. Every girl, and I mean EVERY girl is attracted to guys with confidence. Regardless if they are dishwashers or Wall Street. But that's not true. Yes I'm absolutely attacted to confidence - and so are many others. Howver NOT arrogance. And jerks are arrogant.
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Re creating attraction, try not to introduce yourself with an explanation of how your name is derived from your air guitar and soapbox derby hobbies. Keep that lame stuff for later (my name is derived from a rubbish Marvel comics villain, haha). Actually, your handle is derived from a classic John Fowles novel, called the same. He was a psychotic man who collected butterflies. He fixated on a young woman and then "collected" her. She eventually dies from pneumonia, a length of time after he kidnapped her. He then makes plans to "collect", someone else. As for increasing attraction, never befriend a woman, pretending to want to be just friends. If you want to befriend her, letting her know you find her attractive but want to get to know her better, this will keep you out of the dreaded friend zone and allow her the opportunity to get to know you.
CarDude2015 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I just have to say that after having had the whole nice guy thing thrown in my face over the past several months (through recent experiences with the ladies), I am NEVER going to be the nice guy again in the dating realm. Consider me a reformed nice guy. The old maxim "Nice guys always finish last" has never been more true when it comes to dating. Don't hate the so-called jerks- they at least have the balls to ask the woman out rather than hiding behind a facade of "friendship". And Dagger, try to be grateful when women are being truthful and trying to teach you the one thing that will help you be successful in dating. I only wish I learned the important truth of never being a "nice guy" when it comes to dating years ago.
justagirlforever Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 CarDude2015, who ever said that a "nice guy" has to be a spineless pansy? A nice guy doesn't have to hide behind a facade of friendship.
CarDude2015 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 justagirl- The term "nice guy" whenever it's used (in my experience) has always been used in the case of guys who *are* spineless pansies. I've participated in discussions with women online (and those I know in person) about how the behaviors of "nice guys" ultimately kill the attraction in any relationship and the girl ends up moving on to a guy that's not afraid of himself or his sexuality. One recent experience in particular is when I told a girl who I went out with on a regular basis how I felt about her romantically a tad too early (a common "nice guy" behavior from what I've observed) and it ultimately resulted in the loss of the friendship as well. I've vowed never to do that again. I prefer to be the *great* guy - the guy that's not a spineless pansy, isn't afraid to be a man and at the same time does not resort to the arrogant attitudes of the real jerk or manipulative streaks of the nice guy.
annieo Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 To thread title, you cannot "create" attraction. It's either there or it isn't. OP should learn how to read whether or not a woman is attracted to him, because going after girls who aren't is a waste of time. There's a difference between being nice versus needy. OP sounds like the later to me. Needy is a turn off for both genders. Plus, he's obviously bitter and is getting a bit of hate on for women. We can smell that at twenty paces. No wonder he's having so much trouble getting laid. OP should go and have a nice long chat with his mom, or some woman he actually respects, and say all of this to her. Then, hopefully, he'll get some good advice.
annieo Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 annieo- You hit the nail right on the head. It's rare, but it happens. Thanks cd2015.
Recommended Posts