Overreacting?

[cre8]

So today my girlfriend was having a bad day, she calls me to tell me about what happened with her day and all, then gets a phone call from her mom and tells me to hang on.

 

She gets back on the phone and says that her mom couldn't talk for long because she was at a funeral. Having recently applied for a job at a funeral home, I told her "Hey! I applied for a job at a funeral home!"

 

She asked "Why?"

 

I said "I don't know, there was an opening for a marketing position there, and I thought 'what the hell, I'll just apply' so I did."

 

She replied "Why the hell would you do that, you're such an idiot!"

 

That threw me off guard so I said, "Hey watch how you talk to me."

 

She said "I don't want to talk to you" and hung up.

 

We haven't talked all day... she emailed me saying that I take everything personally and that "idiot" is a word that she uses sometimes and that it slipped out of her mouth and that she didn't mean it. On top of that, she says I talked to her aggressively, when I really don't believe I did. I was happy and optimistic sounding from what I remember.

 

I replied to her email saying "you had a bad day, things weren't going as you had hoped... it happens. but that doesn't mean that every time you have some steam to blow, you can take it out on someone and say that things 'slipped out of your mouth.' i really don't appreciate you hanging up on me either -- how ****ing rude was that."

 

 

We have plans of going to the pool tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be joining her. And in case you're all wondering, we're in our mid-20's!

 

 

Am I overreacting here?? What do you all think, how would you handle the situation?

 

Thanks

Edited March 25, 2008 by cre8

[serial muse]

So today my girlfriend was having a bad day, she calls me to tell me about what happened with her day and all, then gets a phone call from her mom and tells me to hang on.

 

She gets back on the phone and says that her mom couldn't talk for long because she was at a funeral. Having recently applied for a job at a funeral home, I told her "Hey! I applied for a job at a funeral home!"

 

She asked "Why?"

 

I said "I don't know, there was an opening for a marketing position there, and I thought 'what the hell, I'll just apply' so I did."

 

She replied "Why the hell would you do that, you're such an idiot!"

 

That threw me off guard so I said, "Hey watch how you talk to me."

 

She said "I don't want to talk to you" and hung up.

 

We haven't talked all day... she emailed me saying that I take everything personally and that "idiot" is a word that she uses sometimes and that it slipped out of her mouth and that she didn't mean it. On top of that, she says I talked to her aggressively, when I really don't believe I did. I was happy and optimistic sounding from what I remember.

 

I replied to her email saying "you had a bad day, things weren't going as you had hoped... it happens. but that doesn't mean that every time you have some steam to blow, you can take it out on someone and say that things 'slipped out of your mouth.' i really don't appreciate you hanging up on me either -- how ****ing rude was that."

 

 

We have plans of going to the pool tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be joining her. And in case you're all wondering, we're in our mid-20's!

 

 

Am I overreacting here?? What do you all think, how would you handle the situation?

 

Thanks

 

Based on this conversation alone, I'd say you handled it nearly perfectly - up until the "****ing rude" part. You were taking the high ground until that point.

 

For the most part, I think your reaction was completely justified. For one thing, it's never okay to hang up on someone. I don't know about the idiot thing; I can see calling someone an "idiot" jokingly and affectionately, but it depends a lot on the context.

 

The real question is whether there's a pattern here? It sounds like this has happened before...does she often call you names? Even if she doesn't see it as hurtful, she should at least respect that you do.

[AussieJack]

 

We have plans of going to the pool tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be joining her. And in case you're all wondering, we're in our mid-20's!

 

 

Am I overreacting here?? What do you all think, how would you handle the situation?

 

Thanks

 

OK here we go -

You are perfectly entitled to be upset-

 

Firstly - NEVER tolerate disrespect from a woman like this. She disrespected you by insulting you and being snippy without any provocation from you.

 

What to do next -

Lets see -

 

Behavior Modification 101.." Reward desired behavior and punish undesirable behavior ."

Clearly, her behavior is undesirable.

You have made plans to go to the pool and I gather that she would be excited about that.

IF she were an 8 year old who had been mouthy and disrespectful to her father would it be wise for her dad to just overlook that and take her to the pool anyway ?

Edited March 25, 2008 by AussieJack

[carhill]

Her interest and common decency are low. Do not reward with pool. Seriously consider the downsides of a future with such a person. You witnessed a personality characteristic where she dumps on you (her bad day, which had nothing to do with you) then calls you degrading names.

 

I've dumped women for less Even my wife doesn't get a pass on that behavior...

[AdrianaLima]

I wouldn't say that you are overreacting at all. What you said to her in e-mail was well said. You handled it in a mature matter. I wouldn't go to the pool with her until she apologized for her disrespectful approach to you.

[cre8]

Ah, thanks a lot for your input everyone. Appreciate it

[Legend]

move on, find a new girl, dump this psycho one.