Getting a pet together

[Lauriebell82]

So as many of you know, my boyfriend and I are moving in together in May. My boyfriend wants a dog more than anything, but I have been skeptical because I don't know if it's a good idea to have a dog in an apartment all day. We are both going to be gone during the day at work, however I work earlier and get home earlier then my boyfriend. So I guess it could work out okay. I wasn't really thinking about it seriously until tonight however.

 

I found out tonight that our family dog Christy who we have had for 16 years has bone cancer and is dying. She is really sick and my parents want to put her down. I am totally destroyed because I love this dog more than anything. I even nicknamed her "baby girl." So I am totally depressed and I can't stop crying. So tonight my boyfriend said maybe getting a dog may help heal some of my pain.

 

Now, I really would love to have another dog, and concievably it could work I suppose. I have never gotten a pet with a boyfriend before, let alone a live in one. Has anyone ever done this? Is it a good idea? I mean I know that if we break up or whatever I don't want to fight over the dog. However our relationship is serious enough that we are looking at a long-term thing here and a real future (marriage, children, ect.) So I would just like to hear if anyone has had any experiences with this, and give me some opinions.

[AdrianaLima]

I don't see a problem for the two of you getting a new dog. I think that it's a fine idea.It's nice to see that your boyfriend is putting in some effort to help heal the pain from you.

[Arch]

Don't do it, when you guys break up there is going to be a big fight about who keeps the dog.

[Lauriebell82]

Don't do it, when you guys break up there is going to be a big fight about who keeps the dog.

 

Yeah, I know but who says we are going to break up?

[Lauriebell82]

I don't see a problem for the two of you getting a new dog. I think that it's a fine idea.It's nice to see that your boyfriend is putting in some effort to help heal the pain from you.

 

Thanks Adriana. Yeah, he is being really supportive, he listened to me blubber about Christy for like an hour today. Like I said, my concern is maybe the possibility of a breakup or whatever, but I think thats always the chance. I mean even if you are married and get a dog, there is still a chance you may get divorced and fight over the dog.

[Arch]

Yeah, I know but who says we are going to break up?

 

I think you need to establish who's dog it really is before a breakup occurs.

[Citizen Erased]

If you are living in an apartment, then I would say get a cat It is cruel to keep a dog inside all day, and I doubt you would have a backyard that comes with the apartment. I hate people who do that, I feel so sorry for the dogs.

[norajane]

I think you need to establish who's dog it really is before a breakup occurs.

 

LB, I know you don't plan on breaking up, and don't expect to, but, well, even people who get married and love each other sometimes end up divorced. I totally agree with Arch that you have to establish up-front before getting the dog whose dog it is.

 

One of my friends and his wife adopted a puppy from the shelter many years ago and both of them totally loved that dog. When their marriage was in trouble, the dog was the only thing keeping them together for the longest time. And the dog became the most heartbreaking part of their divorce, for both of them.

 

You also brought up a really good point about keeping a dog alone all day in an apartment. Not an ideal place for a dog. However, adopting a dog from a shelter might be saving its life, so even if an apartment isn't ideal, it's better than the alternative...

 

Please try to get a breed that doesn't require a LOT of exercise, as it will go stir-crazy locked up at home alone, which can cause behavior problems in the form of ripping things apart in the house. Also, try for a smaller dog that won't feel too confined in a small space.

 

You and your bf need to sit down and really talk about who will take care of the dog and exactly how you will work out dog walking and feeding since both of you will be gone most of the day. And who will be responsible for visits to the vet, and for grooming nails and coat. And consider that things like going for a weekend away or vacation will require either taking the dog with you, or finding somewhere else for the dog to be, or a dog-sitter.

 

And since you haven't moved in together yet, you might also want to settle in together for a few months before adding a dog to the household. Get used to each other, and see what kind of work/home patterns you develop before bringing a dog into the mix.

Edited March 25, 2008 by norajane

[Advocate's Devilette]

I would really advise you not to move in with your boyfriend because he will get too comfy getting the milk for free and you will find yourself never engaged or married. He will always have an excuse. Why give him all the benefits of being married without you getting the ring? Forget that s**t.

So the answer to your problem is to not move in with him and if he wants a dog so badly, then he can get one, and if you want one, you can get one for yourself, also.