MisterMe Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I really started to realize this back when i started high school, I'm 17 and a senior now and still haven't gotten too far. I don't know but I'm assuming that a lot of people with similar problems like this have been girls, but I'm a guy hehe. I've never really had friends over or gone to anyones house since about grade 4 all the way to this year. I used to be very active and stuff with friends back in grade 4, but then we moved and I had a hard time adjusting. Basically, I'd be home all day watching tv or playing games, and although friends did call me I got annoyed back in middle school and stopped giving my phone number. I just didn't like hanging out with friends after school, and would rather watch tv and stuff. Then came high school, I had some casual friends that I hung out with, but it didn't make a difference whether I was there or not, i just sat at the table to pass my time, or I'd spend time alone in the library reading anime books or playing computer games. In about grade 11 I met what are now probably my 'closest' friends, but still not close. We first started going to each others hosue when we had homework, but never really met to hang out, or when they did I wasn't normally invited. And then now, I have the same friends, I always hang out with them at school, but I just feel like I'm interfering with their lives when I ask them to hang out or something. I always think twice about calling them or anything. I also realized sometime in high school that I had some kind of social phobia, I'm very shy but try to act like I'm not, because I don't like being shy. Talking on the phone kills me, hell even talking on msn makes me nervous sometimes. I'm not a very interesting person, and I know the friends I have are only there because I may say stupid things that make them laugh. To top it all off, I'm a closet gay in a homophobic society, so I can't even use the "be myself" technique, because that will just sig my hole deeper. I don't even know where to start anymore. I always think I'm boring, I think that's the problem, and the thing is I never have anything interesting to talk about with anyone. I dunno if anyone read all that but like, any advice or anything would be so useful...
sally4sara Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Well, it sounds like high school is almost over. I suggest you get stuff in order so that you can have some options when it comes to picking what college to go to. Try for the ones in more diverse areas that are not so homophobic and start day one as the real you.
Author MisterMe Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 That sounds like a good idea in theory, but I'm also shy and it takes me a long time getting used to people. When I'm talking one on one I always get nervous because I feel like the person is bored and would rather talk to someone else, because the conversation is usally shallow or like "school sure sucks" etc... And when it's a group of people I feel stupid when talking like "why would they care anyway" and stuff like that. I know those feelings are wrong but I get anxious and start to like mess up what I'm saying. It even happens with people I know well, I just get self-concious.
Starla Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 hi mister. please don't worry too much...at school i was the shyest gal in the class - in awe of all the beautiful, sassy girls who seemed to have sooo many friends. but - at college, where i met so many different kinds of people, some who were just so out there it was unreal...i gradually came out of my shell, mixed with people from all walks of life and i went from strength to strength. as i left college and went from job to job, i made friends, and now i have too many to shake a stick at lol!!! it will happen for you too, you'll see!! as a teenager at school today, with peer pressure (and especially if you feel you aren't yet ready to be open, which is cool btw:)) it is sooo hard i think...but just give yourself some time and you'll make your life long friends when you're good and ready!! don't be afraid either to look into some kind of assertiveness training..it is often just a case of brushing up on social skills - take up new hobbies where you can really achieve things, and as your confidence grows, so will the amount of people who want to hang around you and be your chum!! good luck!!!!!!!!
Lionblade Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Ever been diagnosed for Asperger's Syndrome? Sounds like you have the symptoms of it. Or maybe you're just overly shy.
Author MisterMe Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 Ever been diagnosed for Asperger's Syndrome? Sounds like you have the symptoms of it. Or maybe you're just overly shy. Nope never diagnosed with it, I just read about it on wikipedia and some if it applies to me. I dunno, my shyness is really weird. Sometimes I won't be able to say thing, and other times I'll be really talkative, I can't explain it. I just think I'm really self conscious and don't know how to get rid of that. :/ hi mister. please don't worry too much...at school i was the shyest gal in the class - in awe of all the beautiful, sassy girls who seemed to have sooo many friends. but - at college, where i met so many different kinds of people, some who were just so out there it was unreal...i gradually came out of my shell, mixed with people from all walks of life and i went from strength to strength. as i left college and went from job to job, i made friends, and now i have too many to shake a stick at lol!!! it will happen for you too, you'll see!! as a teenager at school today, with peer pressure (and especially if you feel you aren't yet ready to be open, which is cool btw:)) it is sooo hard i think...but just give yourself some time and you'll make your life long friends when you're good and ready!! don't be afraid either to look into some kind of assertiveness training..it is often just a case of brushing up on social skills - take up new hobbies where you can really achieve things, and as your confidence grows, so will the amount of people who want to hang around you and be your chum!! good luck!!!!!!!! That makes me feel a lot better, I really hope so! I have been coming out of my shell compared to earlier years, but still not there yet I guess. Thanks so much though, really made me feel good!
Starla Posted March 26, 2008 Posted March 26, 2008 :):) no worries mister!! make opportunities for yourself, where you get to meet other people, and gradually, with practice, you'll find it easier to open up and make connections with people - i think you sound great and if i knew you in RL i'd love to be your mate and i just know there are people out there whom you will meet who will also want to get to know you. remind yourself of all your fantastic qualities and what a good friend you can be to people out there!!! be receptive to people as well....there are a lot of fab people who would love to get to know you, if they just get the chance!!
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