ARDriver01 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 So, I think I have a new girlfriend. We have been talking on the phone and hanging out for a few weeks. She came over yesterday and we had sex for like two hours. We had both agreed to show restraint and just have some sandwiches and watch a movie, go for a walk etc... Yeah, that worked for only few hours. It doesn't help that we're both flirty with a great connection. We talked for a while about relationships, expectations etc... Watched two movies in eachothers arms and then... I was really nervous and tense. This is kinda personal so ere goes. I couldn't come. For almost two hours of sex. She was really happy, but then she started asking what was wrong. She got a little frustrated, I told her that she was the second girl I've ever been with and having sex for first time with her was kind of a big deal for me. I wanted to be perfect and I think I was concentrating too much. After she started asking me if I was okay, that was it. It was just too much pressure on me, so I just kept going hoping for the best. Has that ever happened to anyone reading this? We fell asleep holding eachother, waking to kiss eachother and whatnot. She told me that she really cares about me and wants to be with me. I feel the same except that I'm concerned that she'll hurt me. Not as bad as the other girl did but hurt me none the less. She told me that she was falling for me. I expressed my concerns to her and she told me not to worry, she isn't that kind of girl. I told her that I was falling for her too and she said not to worry and that I wouldn't land on anything hard. So I guess I have a new girlfriend huh? She lives about 40 min away, I don't think that's a problem. Maybe not yet anyway... I like her, I care about her, she's very sweet and hasn't had too many boyfriends. I think this is good. What's supposed to happen now though? I know that I don't have that intense love for her yet. I have my eyes open and I don't have really, really high expectations. The companionship is great though and I do miss her.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Do you want to be exclusive with her? Or do you just wish to continue dating her casually without any attachments? The relationship can only blossom and became something deeper when the both of you come to an agreement for exclusivity. I don't think you're ready if you're still questioning your feelings about this girl. Why not just let things take its course?
dreamergrl Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Just going out on a limb here... Is it possible you are associating your paid of the last gf with the sex of the new girl? I think when both people are able to "get to that point" it makes the sex more meaningful and fulfilling - maybe your not able to because you are scared to get emotionally attatched.
Green Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 You might have just been nervouse. If its going long again and you just want to finish you can either fake an orgasm or just take it out and masterbate yourself. Knowing you have these options might take the pressure off and allow you to orgasm. Once you become more comfortable with her that should take more pressure off to and most likely that will solve all your problems
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 I am. But, at least I know that nothing could be worse than what I've been through before. You guys may not agree but it's the absolute truth.
dreamergrl Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 IMO I'd slow things down a bit - it sounds as if you need to process things from your previous relationship - and sex is going to interfere with that.
shanny Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Congratulations! It sounds like you have a great connection. It seems that she understood your performance issues (she didn't get mad), which is great. Some girls may get all offended and stuff, but it sounds like she was cool. She is being straightforward with you in saying that she is falling for you, and you did the same. No games... which is great! This should be a happy time for you, not one to worry about having your heartbroken. Enjoy each other, and it may turn into that burning type of love. The beginning of a relationship is always the best, so RELAX and enjoy your new girl. Good luck!
whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Go slow, be honest with her. Sounds like you want "it" to happen but your mind and body aren't really as one, and you're not really ready for anything too serious. Again, just be honest and upfront with her, enjoy getting to know her and take it slow..
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 Just throwing this out there... I'm not a two girl kinda guy at all, in any sense. If I've been with somebody intimately, that's who I'm "with" if you know what I mean. There was a great girl that up until sunday night was going to be my new date. She's a very close friend in the area. She finally gave me her number on saturday night after we went to a carnival together. She said to call her so that we could stop going through our friend/my roommate to communicate about a possible relationship. She's over all the time and I feel really bad to let her down. I know she'll be fine, it's just that I don't know now how to act around her socially knowing that my roommate will soon break the news that I'm seeing somebody.
dreamergrl Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 If you're worried about other girls, your last relationship ect ect - I doubt that you're ready for a relationship.
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 She came over last night. It was her day off. We had a great time and we had dinner with me ma and pa. She's very much in love with me she said. She's completely fallen for me. I know that in time, hypothetically, I'll feel the same. I think I've been hurt pretty bad and I don't want to get hurt. It's funny the way God works. I've always wanted to be loved the way that I love. When I love somebody, it's 100% steadfast. I can't be persuaded otherwise. I'm talking about Love, not "in love". Real love. And now that this great girl is in love with me, I don't know how to react. She's such a good girl. She's amazing in every way. I wish that I could reciprocate and I hope that I don't have to loose her to wake up. That would suck and it would be so typical. Anyways, I feel excellent. I'm falling for her very slowely. I know she's good for me and everyday that goes by I feel a little more intense. She doesn't drink or smoke or even curse. I'm 100% Irish so you can only imagine how I am. Had I ended up with the other girl, I could do anything I wanted which is not necessarily a great thing. The girl I'm with inspires me. She has qualities that I don't and I have qualities that she doesn't have. She's hyper and driven, I'm relaxed and driven.
Recommended Posts