An Unorthadox Discussion

March 24, 2008

First of all, let me say Hi, as I am new to these forums. I have quite a few questions about a discussion I have had with my wife over the past few years. This started out as a joke on her part then turned out to be serious discussion. I should also tell you that my wife is not Bi, or bi -curious.

We have been discussing the idea of me getting the equivalent of another wife. Would be a live in girlfriend basicly since I cannot get married to another woman due to US laws, and the UCMJ (I am in the USN). I am not going to discuss my benefits as those should be rather obvious. I love my wife, I am happy with her and my three children(one of which i adopted as she was pregnant when I got together with her). Our sex life is decent. Sometimes phenomonal, sometimes mediocre, but frequent unlike alot of marriages I have seen where kids are involved. I have never cheated on my wife, though I have had the opportunity on more than on occasion. Alot of the people I know were not so faithful, especially when out to sea. Tempation was very hard to resist however, and I feel that I would be happier with more variety.

Help around the house, and with the children, especially while I am out to sea, are good points that she has thought about. What seems to be her only fear about this is she thinks i may like the other girl more and leave her. she is also afraid she would not like the GF, as she rarley can get along with women. This would make it even harder to find someone. She gets very deppressed when i am out to sea, and sometimes at home, due to the unending problems with our children, making messes, crying, fighting, and ect. All three of my children are very young, the oldest is only 5. My children are not worse than normal toddlers, my wife has some emotional problems that do not help with the situation.

So to sum this up, to me, the GF would be another love in my life(not a housekeeper,or a "piece of meat" as I'm sure some of you would think)I feel that i could handle this emotionally.

I'm thinking this could either be really good, or really bad, and honestly i think that depends on the type of person i find. The wrong one would lead to alot of problems to say least. Of course, from my wifes point of view, the woman could either be a great help around the house and with the children, and with me for when she gets a "headache"(though I realize, and so does my wife, no woman is going to hang around waiting for my wife to get a headache), or the GF could be a homewrecker(though I would never let this happen.) I'm mainly looking for answers from the ladies on the forums on this question....do you feel that it is possible to pull this off? and how would i handle dropping a bomb like this on a prospective girlfriend?

March 24, 2008

Well, if you had said that your wife always gets along with other women, has no other emotional problems and has no insecurities or jealousies, then hey go for it.

But you didn't say anything remotely close to that. Your wife is bummed, she is alone, she is handling the kids herself while you are out on duty. I do not see why she, as the one at home, is the one that needs to be supplemented.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it sounds to me like what is really needed is a second HUSBAND for HER.

How do you feel about that idea?

March 24, 2008

Well, if you had said that your wife always gets along with other women, has no other emotional problems and has no insecurities or jealousies, then hey go for it.

But you didn't say anything remotely close to that. Your wife is bummed, she is alone, she is handling the kids herself while you are out on duty. I do not see why she, as the one at home, is the one that needs to be supplemented.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it sounds to me like what is really needed is a second HUSBAND for HER.

How do you feel about that idea?

I agree.

Your wife does not seem into it. It sounds like she'll end up harboring much resentment towards you and the girlfriend. It sounds like the only reason she even expresses any interest is because she wants to please you.

Also, I imagine you will be hard-pressed to find a woman who would want to be in this situation.

You feel you'd be happier with variety? Then, perhaps, you should not be married. What would you say if your wife wanted more variety?

March 24, 2008

How do I feel about that? It's quite out of the question. In fact, there is no doubt in my mind I could not handle another husband. But then again, I'm not my wife, and shes told me several times she wants no other man. You do raise a good point about her emotional issues, however I could have done without the hostile undertones. I especially do not appreciate the hostility towards my job. I swear I could almost hear your tone of voice in your post. You are far to good at conveying emotions in text.

Let me clarify that this is something we have discussed from time to time over a few years, and I have no intention of running out to the club tonight to try and pick up my "next wife". There are many issues that need to be sorted out first. I just wanted a discussion, nothing more. Perhaps someone has tried this before?

March 24, 2008

I think your wife would be happier with a part time housekeeper and nanny than she would another girlfriend around to dilute her marriage.

my wife has some emotional problems that do not help with the situation.

You think its bad now? Just wait until you bring a mistress into the mix.

1. do you feel that it is possible to pull this off?
2. and how would i handle dropping a bomb like this on a prospective girlfriend?

1. Not in your case. Your wife has emotional problems, your marriage is faltering, and bringing a mistress in will not help things. It will just make them far, far, far worse. You have to prioritize here: thinking with your brain, and getting your wife the real help she needs and working to make your marriage a better one for you both, or thinking with your dick and doing only what you think works best for you. Your choice.

2. By telling the truth: I want you to come into my home, and act as a housekeeper, nanny, babysitter for my wife when I'm not home, and give me sex when my wife doesn't want it. You can throw "love" in there all you want - no woman in her right mind would believe you.

March 24, 2008

no woman in her right mind would believe you.

This is true...I think you will find the women who agree to this type of thing are not mentally stable.

March 24, 2008

2. By telling the truth: I want you to come into my home, and act as a housekeeper, nanny, babysitter for my wife when I'm not home, and give me sex when my wife doesn't want it. You can throw "love" in there all you want - no woman in her right mind would believe you.

You see, this point here was openly hostile, but lets dissect it.(your other point was good however misplaced, as my wifes problems are not caused by a bad marriage, but rather a chemical imbalance)

"I want you to come into my home, and act as a housekeeper, nanny, babysitter for my wife when I'm not home" This is not true, however help would be nice. I'm looking for another person to be a part of the household, not a slave. I'm sorry if I was not clear in the original post. I help out around the house as well.

"and give me sex when my wife doesn't want it." I am fully capable of satisfying more than one woman in one night, but we all know that libidos are not always on the same wavelength. I was simply trying to point out that as a benefit, however slight. Sometimes you just don't feel like it, do you?

"You can throw "love" in there all you want - no woman in her right mind would believe you" Let me make myself perfectly clear. I learned a long time ago not to throw this word around recklessly, and I know exactly what it means. And, in case you haven't noticed, noone that is in love is in their right mind. Be it a man or woman.

March 24, 2008

How do I feel about that? It's quite out of the question. In fact, there is no doubt in my mind I could not handle another husband. But then again, I'm not my wife, and shes told me several times she wants no other man. You do raise a good point about her emotional issues, however I could have done without the hostile undertones. I especially do not appreciate the hostility towards my job. I swear I could almost hear your tone of voice in your post. You are far to good at conveying emotions in text.

Let me clarify that this is something we have discussed from time to time over a few years, and I have no intention of running out to the club tonight to try and pick up my "next wife". There are many issues that need to be sorted out first. I just wanted a discussion, nothing more. Perhaps someone has tried this before?

I assure you that there were no hostile undertones in my text. Those were entirely supplied by you. I have nothing but respect for your profession, truth be told.

But...I was giving my honest opinion. If it seemed that my husband was overwhelmed with responsibilities, and at times emotionally overwrought, why would it make sense to get a "helper" that primarily benefitted ME?

If I am being a little more straightforward, I will say very clearly that I just think it is a patently stupid idea and you are asking for big trouble. I think it is an indication of your wife's "emotional issues" that she would suggest such a thing...you are not saying anything that makes it sound like you are enlightened people above the petty rules of society and ready to break new ground in human evolution. It just isn't coming across like that.

It sounds like she is at the end of her rope with loneliness and responsibility and is perhaps trying to come up with a suggestion that might appeal to you in some way. And it does, it would to most people. She might well be acting out of love for you, but it is misguided.

I am telling you in all sincerity that for your wife's well being you should immediately put the kibosh on this idea and work with her to develop a more workable solution to get some kind of relief for her. Based on everything you have said so far, this is NOT the answer for you.

March 24, 2008

I think you are getting the easy end of the deal on the forum. I think if you took your plan and approached any decent woman with even an ounce of self respect you would see exactly what hostility can be. At the very least, you'd get a chuckle, an eyeroll and she'll turn and walk away.

I can't imagine what, if anything an OW would stand to gain by being your live in girlfriend and having to live with your depressed and chemically imbalanced wife and all of your children - and on top of that have to agree to share you with said wife, while getting absolutely nothing legally or monetarily out of it except sex.

Do you plan to pay her? Maybe if the price was right a woman might agree to it, but otherwise? You will want to offer a lot more than you are suggesting. It would have to work for her as well, not just you. What do you propose OW would get out of this? To be your live in mistress? Sorry, but I think if you want a situation like this to work you'll have to offer something better than that.

I'll reiterate: no woman in her right mind will believe you when you tell her that you want nothing more than for her to be your 'live in girlfriend'. She'll be suspicious from the start.

I also think that if your wife is agreeing to it, it is because she is afraid you will leave her if she says no.

March 24, 2008

I am fully capable of satisfying more than one woman in one night, but we all know that libidos are not always on the same wavelength. I was simply trying to point out that as a benefit, however slight. Sometimes you just don't feel like it, do you?

But the benefit is only to you. What does your wife get out of you having another girlfriend that you want to be both physically and emtionally intimate with? You clearly stated that your wife having another husband would be unacceptable. You wouldn't want another man poaching on your property, so to speak. How come it's okay for you to poach on other women?

I also would like to add that clearly you arne't completely satisfying your wife. Maybe you can give her an orgasm, maybe she fakes it. But on another level, she doesn't sound very statisfied with the arangement as it is now. Bringing in another women to divide yoru attention certainly isn't helping anyone. But yourself. If you're only concern is for yourself and not your wife, then I can see how you would go with this.

Are any of your children girls? Do you also want them to be in relationships with men who want more then just her to keep him happy?

I think this has more to do with you looking for happiness in other people instead of finding it within yourself.

March 24, 2008

I assure you that there were no hostile undertones in my text. Those were entirely supplied by you. I have nothing but respect for your profession, truth be told.

But...I was giving my honest opinion. If it seemed that my husband was overwhelmed with responsibilities, and at times emotionally overwrought, why would it make sense to get a "helper" that primarily benefitted ME?

If I am being a little more straightforward, I will say very clearly that I just think it is a patently stupid idea and you are asking for big trouble. I think it is an indication of your wife's "emotional issues" that she would suggest such a thing...you are not saying anything that makes it sound like you are enlightened people above the petty rules of society and ready to break new ground in human evolution. It just isn't coming across like that.

It sounds like she is at the end of her rope with loneliness and responsibility and is perhaps trying to come up with a suggestion that might appeal to you in some way. And it does, it would to most people. She might well be acting out of love for you, but it is misguided.

I am telling you in all sincerity that for your wife's well being you should immediately put the kibosh on this idea and work with her to develop a more workable solution to get some kind of relief for her. Based on everything you have said so far, this is NOT the answer for you.

She has told me many times that the problems she has, have very little to nothing to do with me or the children. When I say emotional problems, I mean problems that she has had for a very long time, well before me, and that she has sought help for. These normal life things stress her out alot more than she should, though she has been much better since she started medication(to my relief, and chagrin, for I feel all psychiatrists to be quacks). This has all been confirmed by her family. These problems kind of run in the women on her moms side. You raise some good points regardless, and I'm sorry if I misconstrued your statements. Perhaps you are right, and I should put the kibosh on this idea, if only for the fact that that finding the right woman that would make things better, rather than worse, would be next to impossible. Not only that, would probalby have 100 times the failure rate of a normal relationship. though this is nowhere near new ground. Men have had more than one wife far back in history.

March 24, 2008

OK, let's say philosophically that everyone can emotionally handle the three-way. Let's say you find this ideal woman who would be incorporated into the family as a second "wife-type" person.

Now think about this: What about the social stigma? Can you imagine how your children would be tortured by this arrangement? It would be one thing if this was socially accepted in our culture, but it is not.

I would definitely think about some alternatives. Especially ways of giving your wife a break and building a support network for her that includes family and friends. Also, nurture your relationship. Finds ways to be alone, go out, have fun. Even if its just once or twice a month. Make an ordeal out of "date night" and make it special for her. Try courting her and making her feel like a real princess instead of "Mom". Or if that's not the thing for you two, make her feel like your "bad girl";).

Just my two cents worth.

btw... I DO understand the appeal. I remember times that I wished bigamy was legal just so I didn't have to do everything...lol. I once told my H (STBX) that I wish he could go out and find a second wife just because there wasn't enough of us to go around. I also told him that she had better be a better housewife / housekeeper than either of us! I would be the working wife!

March 24, 2008

But the benefit is only to you. What does your wife get out of you having another girlfriend that you want to be both physically and emtionally intimate with? You clearly stated that your wife having another husband would be unacceptable. You wouldn't want another man poaching on your property, so to speak. How come it's okay for you to poach on other women?

I also would like to add that clearly you arne't completely satisfying your wife. Maybe you can give her an orgasm, maybe she fakes it. But on another level, she doesn't sound very statisfied with the arangement as it is now. Bringing in another women to divide yoru attention certainly isn't helping anyone. But yourself. If you're only concern is for yourself and not your wife, then I can see how you would go with this.

Are any of your children girls? Do you also want them to be in relationships with men who want more then just her to keep him happy?

I think this has more to do with you looking for happiness in other people instead of finding it within yourself.

Alluding that women are property, and calling it poaching, in my eyes completely discounts everything you have to say. But, for arguments sake I will address your comment about me not satisfying my wife.Nowhere, in any of my posts, has anything been said that you could have gleaned that bit of information from. This leads me to the conclusion that you are blatantly flaming me, or perhaps showing off for the ladies in the room. This further discounts anything you have to say. I satisfy my wife perfectly fine. As for my daughter, as long as she is in a relationship that makes her happy I am fine with it. As long as said relationship does not happen until she is at least 35.(joke)

March 24, 2008

First of all, let me say Hi, as I am new to these forums. I have quite a few questions about a discussion I have had with my wife over the past few years. This started out as a joke on her part then turned out to be serious discussion. I should also tell you that my wife is not Bi, or bi -curious.

We have been discussing the idea of me getting the equivalent of another wife. Would be a live in girlfriend basicly since I cannot get married to another woman due to US laws, and the UCMJ (I am in the USN). I am not going to discuss my benefits as those should be rather obvious. I love my wife, I am happy with her and my three children(one of which i adopted as she was pregnant when I got together with her). Our sex life is decent. Sometimes phenomonal, sometimes mediocre, but frequent unlike alot of marriages I have seen where kids are involved. I have never cheated on my wife, though I have had the opportunity on more than on occasion. Alot of the people I know were not so faithful, especially when out to sea. Tempation was very hard to resist however, and I feel that I would be happier with more variety.

Help around the house, and with the children, especially while I am out to sea, are good points that she has thought about. What seems to be her only fear about this is she thinks i may like the other girl more and leave her. she is also afraid she would not like the GF, as she rarley can get along with women. This would make it even harder to find someone. She gets very deppressed when i am out to sea, and sometimes at home, due to the unending problems with our children, making messes, crying, fighting, and ect. All three of my children are very young, the oldest is only 5. My children are not worse than normal toddlers, my wife has some emotional problems that do not help with the situation.

So to sum this up, to me, the GF would be another love in my life(not a housekeeper,or a "piece of meat" as I'm sure some of you would think)I feel that i could handle this emotionally.
I'm thinking this could either be really good, or really bad, and honestly i think that depends on the type of person i find. The wrong one would lead to alot of problems to say least. Of course, from my wifes point of view, the woman could either be a great help around the house and with the children, and with me for when she gets a "headache"(though I realize, and so does my wife, no woman is going to hang around waiting for my wife to get a headache), or the GF could be a homewrecker(though I would never let this happen.) I'm mainly looking for answers from the ladies on the forums on this question....do you feel that it is possible to pull this off? and how would i handle dropping a bomb like this on a prospective girlfriend?

Unless you are a mormon practicing multiple wives, then you are asking for a mess. I can't actually believe you think that your wife would be ok with this, the GF would be ok with this and third your children wouldn't suffer because of this.

Man, talk about being selfish. If you want to experiment sexually, try swinging..

Having a wife is a full-time position itself, why would you want to work overtime?

March 24, 2008

Men have had more than one wife far back in history.

Different culture, but my mom's father had 3 wives (in Vietnam). AFAIK it wasn't a cosy commune. Each woman had her own house and household to run, and each woman had her own source of livelihood. My grandmother was 3rd wife and owned a restaurant in Saigon. My grandafather was a drunk and a gambling addict. He would roam from house to house, exhausting each wife's funds in turn, leaving long enough for her to get back on her feet financially before returning to take all her money again.

My mother hated her father with a passion. He used to beat the women and children regularly, and eventually my mom stood up to him when she was about 15 and beat him with a cane while he was beating her mother.

IMO most societies that allow polygamy are pretty gender biased, favoring men much more than women. There is little to no equality and the women, for the most part, are viewed as property.

March 24, 2008

OK, let's say philosophically that everyone can emotionally handle the three-way. Let's say you find this ideal woman who would be incorporated into the family as a second "wife-type" person.

Now think about this: What about the social stigma? Can you imagine how your children would be tortured by this arrangement? It would be one thing if this was socially accepted in our culture, but it is not.

I would definitely think about some alternatives. Especially ways of giving your wife a break and building a support network for her that includes family and friends. Also, nurture your relationship. Finds ways to be alone, go out, have fun. Even if its just once or twice a month. Make an ordeal out of "date night" and make it special for her. Try courting her and making her feel like a real princess instead of "Mom". Or if that's not the thing for you two, make her feel like your "bad girl";).

Just my two cents worth.

btw... I DO understand the appeal. I remember times that I wished bigamy was legal just so I didn't have to do everything...lol. I once told my H (STBX) that I wish he could go out and find a second wife just because there wasn't enough of us to go around. I also told him that she had better be a better housewife / housekeeper than either of us! I would be the working wife!

Ah a sane person, that actually wants to discuss this with no hostility or sarcasm. Thank you. I like the way you think. We should get together sometime.(joking, well....1/2 way:love:) I do my best to do those things you mention on a regular basis. In fact I even bring home flowers....when I am not in trouble :gasp: (flourists are always asking me what I did wrong) Though truth be told i very rarley get into trouble

March 24, 2008

Different culture, but my mom's father had 3 wives (in Vietnam). AFAIK it wasn't a cosy commune. Each woman had her own house and household to run, and each woman had her own source of livelihood. My grandmother was 3rd wife and owned a restaurant in Saigon. My grandafather was a drunk and a gambling addict. He would roam from house to house, exhausting each wife's funds in turn, leaving long enough for her to get back on her feet financially before returning to take all her money again.

My mother hated her father with a passion. He used to beat the women and children regularly, and eventually my mom stood up to him when she was about 15 and beat him with a cane while he was beating her mother.

IMO most societies that allow polygamy are pretty gender biased, favoring men much more than women. There is little to no equality and the women, for the most part, are viewed as property.

Just about anything could go wrong, I admit. With any relationship. I'll admit my wife is no women's rights activists, but nor do i beat her or think of her as property. She is a woman, that stays with me because she loves me, and this is presumably because I do something right, or for that matter, several things. I have my faults, but then so does everyone.

March 24, 2008

I am a very open-minded person and I do have beliefs or thought that are unorthodox. However, I DO have the sensibility to know that I have to live within our societal constraints. My H was always very wary of my "philosophical beliefs"...lol

Seriously though, your W is losing her sense of identity. Makes sure she has "her" life too. She can't be just Mom all the time. That is so difficult with your kids being the ages they are. I come from a long line of maternal insanity and hopefully I'm breaking the cycle, but it really is work. It is especially difficult when depression is involved.

Above all, try to have fun and laugh when things get really challenging. My H couldn't do that and things always seemed so insurmountable when in "stress" mode. Because of her problems, you will have to work twice as hard until it gets better.

Even if you don't feel like it, help out extra. Do a project with the kids. I used to do wall murals. We had one wall where we would do giant construction paper "scenes" and then put on shows in front of it. Believe me... you will all get into it and have a few hours of fun. The older one helps a bit and the younger ones watch in fascination and laugh at the goofy show... Let your wife rest, tire out the kids and then make mad passionate love to her when they zonk out! I know... you'll be wiped, but it will be worth it.

Ah a sane person, that actually wants to discuss this with no hostility or sarcasm. Thank you. I like the way you think. We should get together sometime.(joking, well....1/2 way:love:) I do my best to do those things you mention on a regular basis. In fact I even bring home flowers....when I am not in trouble :gasp: (flourists are always asking me what I did wrong) Though truth be told i very rarley get into trouble

March 24, 2008

I lived in a central African country one summer a few years ago and spent time with a lot of Muslim families in which the husbands had anywhere from 2-5 wives. (They lived alongside Christian families with one wife-one husband families.)

I got to know a Muslim teenager whose mother was the 2nd wife of her father. I asked the teen whether she would marry a man who wanted multiple wives. Almost before I could finish the question, she spat out NO!!!! and went on to explain that there was way too much strife, jealousy, and anger between the wives (who were competing for attention and resources from her father), and never enough money to go around.

While I think in general the idea is quite misguided, I would suggest that at minimum, you think harder about the impact on your children of such an arrangement.

March 24, 2008

I am a very open-minded person and I do have beliefs or thought that are unorthodox. However, I DO have the sensibility to know that I have to live within our societal constraints. My H was always very wary of my "philosophical beliefs"...lol

Seriously though, your W is losing her sense of identity. Makes sure she has "her" life too. She can't be just Mom all the time. That is so difficult with your kids being the ages they are. I come from a long line of maternal insanity and hopefully I'm breaking the cycle, but it really is work. It is especially difficult when depression is involved.

Above all, try to have fun and laugh when things get really challenging. My H couldn't do that and things always seemed so insurmountable when in "stress" mode. Because of her problems, you will have to work twice as hard until it gets better.

Even if you don't feel like it, help out extra. Do a project with the kids. I used to do wall murals. We had one wall where we would do giant construction paper "scenes" and then put on shows in front of it. Believe me... you will all get into it and have a few hours of fun. The older one helps a bit and the younger ones watch in fascination and laugh at the goofy show... Let your wife rest, tire out the kids and then make mad passionate love to her when they zonk out! I know... you'll be wiped, but it will be worth it.

I do help out with the children, and not just when my wife is so tired that she is going insane though I will stay away from the whole wall mural scene, as my children are already little Picassos and are quite happy adding all sorts of colors to my used-to-be-white walls.

as for the constraints of society...why live within them? Life is to short not to explore every aspect of it that you can. Be that traveling to foriegn countries, or exploring all possible relationship possibilities:D

March 24, 2008

I have had my dose of living outside of the acceptable constraints of society for a while . I'm going to be on the straight and narrow for a bit... lol. However, my bf is actually really into the idea of a 3-way. Maybe you could introduce us to your wife . Why is it that the men are NEVER into the idea of another man into the mix. Throw in the extra woman though and they are all hyped up and ready to go!

I do help out with the children, and not just when my wife is so tired that she is going insane though I will stay away from the whole wall mural scene, as my children are already little Picassos and are quite happy adding all sorts of colors to my used-to-be-white walls.

as for the constraints of society...why live within them? Life is to short not to explore every aspect of it that you can. Be that traveling to foriegn countries, or exploring all possible relationship possibilities:D

March 24, 2008

I have had my dose of living outside of the acceptable constraints of society for a while . I'm going to be on the straight and narrow for a bit... lol. However, my bf is actually really into the idea of a 3-way. Maybe you could introduce us to your wife . Why is it that the men are NEVER into the idea of another man into the mix. Throw in the extra woman though and they are all hyped up and ready to go!

Some men are probalbly interested in that though most would never admit it. Due to being homophobic most likely. Me personally, I realize that the two men don't have to do anything to each other "shudder". Most women find that just as disgusting as staight men do. It would be quite possible for 2 men to make one woman very happy i think, without compromising sexuality in the least.....It could also be alot of fun. And as for being introduced to my wife...that might be possible, though i would have to introduce myself as well....hrm...

March 24, 2008

Alluding that women are property, and calling it poaching, in my eyes completely discounts everything you have to say. But, for arguments sake I will address your comment about me not satisfying my wife.Nowhere, in any of my posts, has anything been said that you could have gleaned that bit of information from. This leads me to the conclusion that you are blatantly flaming me, or perhaps showing off for the ladies in the room. This further discounts anything you have to say. I satisfy my wife perfectly fine. As for my daughter, as long as she is in a relationship that makes her happy I am fine with it. As long as said relationship does not happen until she is at least 35.(joke)

Actually, I would venture to say that you consider women property more then I do. Other then that, your response makes no sense to anything I asked in my first post on this thread. I would appreciate a more condusive reply to the questions I asked. Otherwise you force me to assume that my questions were so excellent and true in nature that you can't possibly answer them without agreeing with everything I stated.

What benefit does your wife get from you having a girlfriend? I understand the benefit you receive, I just don't understand what she gains from that arrangement?

Just for hypothetical reasons, what if your son was happy engaging in a relationship where he was one of many husbands? Would you be just as supportive

"...as for the constraints of society...why live within them? Life is to short not to explore every aspect of it that you can. Be that traveling to foriegn countries, or exploring all possible relationship possibilities

Why does your wife not get to have the same oppurtunity then? If you get to explore other relationship possiblities, she deserves that oppurtunity just as much .After all, life is short for all of us, not just men.

The truth is, if you were satisfying yoru wife more then just physically, then she would not be having the issues she is currently having. Perhaps being a more supportive husband and helping with your own children would be a better way to support her then buying flowers every once-in-awhile. It does take a little more effort to deal with children then to drop off at the florist.

March 24, 2008

Actually, I would venture to say that you consider women property more then I do. Other then that, your response makes no sense to anything I asked in my first post on this thread. I would appreciate a more condusive reply to the questions I asked. Otherwise you force me to assume that my questions were so excellent and true in nature that you can't possibly answer them without agreeing with everything I stated.

What benefit does your wife get from you having a girlfriend?Have you ever tried to take care of three children on your own? and be a fulltime homemaker? that's no easy job, though I will admit it mainly benefits me.
Just for hypothetical reasons, what if your son was happy engaging in a relationship where he was one of many husbands? Would you be just as supportive. Whatever makes my children happy is AOK with me.

Why does your wife not get to have the same oppurtunity then? If you get to explore other relationship possiblities, she deserves that oppurtunity just as much .After all, life is short for all of us, not just men.
I never said she shouldn't have the same opportunity, though i could not handle this flipped around. I freely admit this. I have also said that she wants no other man. So we have no need to cross this road.

The truth is, if you were satisfying yoru wife more then just physically, then she would not be having the issues she is currently having.I would like to see your degree in psychology or psychiatry please. Or perhaps you would like to reread the previous posts on my wife's medical condition.

Perhaps being a more supportive husband and helping with your own children would be a better way to support her then buying flowers every once-in-awhile.Here you go assuming you know what you are talking about. Not only that assuming things you could only possibly know if you were a close friend or a family member. I assure you I am a good father, my children want for nothing, either material or emotional.

It does take a little more effort to deal with children then to drop off at the florist. When exactly, did I say anything about dropping my kids off with a flourist? Reading comprehension and Composition are your friends. Please refrain from further comment as you could not possibly have anything constructive to add to this conversation. I would greatly appreciate it.

Please refrain from further comment as you could not possibly have anything constructive to add to this conversation. I would greatly appreciate it.

March 24, 2008

This is just out of curiosity...OP, have you had any threesome experiences in your past, or is this something you've always wanted to do?

I ask because I have, at least MFF threesomes. Every single one was pretty disappointing. Reality is so much more complicated than fantasy.

And to be honest, my SO and I have joked about getting him another girlfriend. I also used to joke about this with my exH, but the difference is that I have had relationships with women in the past. But having been with a woman, I also know the reality of dealing with a woman is much more....unsavory....than the fantasy. So I joke about it, occassionally, but we both know (SO and I) that it would never happen.

Pluswhich I regularly exhaust him with my sexual demands, so we've pretty much established that he would not be able to keep me and another woman happy unless she was frigid.

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