chloe777 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) this is a big mess, but here goes.... my boyfriend and i have been in a very happy relationship for about 7 years- happy vacations, talk of marriage, except about 2 years ago, there was infidelity on my part. i thought i had more things in common with this other guy in terms of career plans, career interests, long term goals, etc.. despite all the fighting with my boyfriend when i revealed the infidelity to him, we decided to work through it. I broke off all contact with the other guy and it worked out well until recently. about a 2 years ago, my boyfriend and I moved in together; i had just gotten a grant to do a major research project, but the position does not pay well - my career is important so i did it anyway. recently, i began to feel very constrained in the relationship, on top of all the other pressures i am feeling about finding a job after my internship is finished, finding a place to live, finances, my long-term goals...so, i decided to break it off with my boyfriend. i feel that he wasn't being supportive financially and emotionally while i go through this internship, for example, he becomes very paranoid when i spend a lot of time working. i'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me... i cheated on him before, and i continue to mess up the relationship with my doubts. at first i was convinced it was the right thing to break up with him, but now am not so sure. i had good reasons... mismatched goals, him being irresponsible in terms of finances and housework- meaning i had to pay most of our expenses with hardly any income, just a stipend, and do most of the housework. so now we've been separated for about a 2 months and I've been seeing another guy sometimes here and there who seems more responsible, but i still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend. my ex wants to give the relationship another shot and is willing to be more responsible. at first i felt the breakup was right, but now am starting to doubt my decision of breaking up with him. i miss him and still love him, but am very scared of our future together... i just want to be happy again... i'm so lost, i'm not sure of what to do.. thanks for reading... any advice would help... Edited March 24, 2008 by chloe777
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