Takn4Granted Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 WOMEN, I need your thoughts; Okay, here goes: While going throuh a divorce last year, I unexpectedly got involved with a girl also going through a divorce that worked in the same building (both in our 30s and ending 15 year marriages). We got pretty deeply involved in a few months...even talked about marriage. Well, as the divorces were becoming final, she breaks it off and says she needs time; that she couldn't be in a relationship at that time. Well, I understand that women take a lot of time to get over a divorce, and since it was not about another guy, I gave her time. We continued to be friends and stayed in contact with each other...we started "seeing" each other 3-4 months later. There were a couple of setbacks (on her part emotionally), but we managed to get though them. She finally told me that she wanted "to give the relationship a serious go". Things were better than they had been...more open about "us' with her kids and didn't try to hide it from her ex-husband either. Everything was great...we were acting a like a real couple in public. We even "survived" a 1.5 month business trip in which we were geographically separated. Several mutual friends say we make the perfect couple and always knew we were meant to be together. Well, she tells me the other day that she can't be in a relationship! We talked 4-5 times a day and were very open with each other. From those talks, I know she still had moments of quilt/regret that her marriage didn't work out; not because she has feelings for her ex, but because she's mourning the loss of her marriage. Her friends have confirmed this as well and that there's no other guy involved. I have given her what she was missing in her marriage, but sometimes she says she's not used to that and it takes some getting used to. She says she also enjoys her freedom and is not used to someone caring for her like I do. I don't know if this is a factor, but she has to leave the area for 3-4 months this summer on business. My question to you women out there; is this normal and how long will it take for her to get her head on straight? I've went no-contact because, through all this drama, I've always been there for her and think she might be taking me for granted...maybe she needs time to miss me and realize what she had/wants out of life. Yea, I know, I should just move on and not live my life centered around her anymore...I'm staring to do that. But I still feel like she is the one...seriously, I'm not a delusioned teenager and I know exactly the type of women I want to be with. She meets all those qualifications, except for the flakiness. Does she just need time to deal with the past or is she bi-polar? Your thoughts?
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