Parrish Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I don't have anyone to talk to and all this stuff going on in my mind is tearing me up. I found this site and registered just to vent or maybe get some advise.. maybe just so someone reads my thoughts Dont really have any friends I can talk to, only one might know im gay but we never talk about it. I'm usually quiet I wouldnt know how to even bring it up. The first few weeks after I stopped seeing her I spent alot of time home with my parents, like just lying on their sofa or something. They don't know I'm gay either. I dont know how to tell them or if they wanna know. They knew something was wrong but I just said im heartbroken I meet her one year ago on myspace, then in person 8 months ago and we been in relationship up untill breakup. I'm 24 and she was 27. We're both pisces I don't know.. I been crying, depressed, ****ing angry and just feeling pathetic. It's been 1-2 months since and I keep thinking of her I been working really hard not to think of her or contact her again.. But I think I have really bad self control.. So tempted to just hear her voice somehow.. Miss her so damn much and I know she screwed me over In my apartment I got rid of everything that was hers or ours.. Deleted all our pictures, threw her stuff away.. I even changed the password to my email to something I wouldn't remember so I wouldn't get her mails and read them, then changed my cell number so she couldnt call me. If I knew how to get my mail back I probably would have already just to read her mail again. Got rid of anything that reminded me of her That way she couldnt make me change my mind.. she can be VERY pursuassive and I know she'd just talk me into something I feel so lost and alone.. I cant stand being like this.. want to forget and stop thinking about her but I cant. Other times I REALLY want to be with her.. she was my soulmate. I never connected with someone as good as her
MalachiX Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 If she was your soul mate then why did she cheat on you? I can't tell you what love means to you but I personally can't tolerate anyone cheating on me. I've told every person I've been with that I'd rather they call me on the phone and break up with me right before hand so I wouldn't be running around, thinking someone was in love with me, when they were really diddling someone else. That's just me. I think the question is what does cheating mean to you and what does a soul mate mean to you. I don't know if I believe in a soul mate. I certainly don't think that if they exist one would cheat on the other. Maybe you do. And maybe, if you're sure that this person is your soul mate you can bring yourself to give them another shot. Personally though, I don't think you can know someone is your soul mate after just 8 months. I think you may be magnifying things in your mind a bit. It's hard as hell now yes but it gets easier (after a month, it has for me) and you've got the advantage that you have a clear reason for the break and a damn good one instead of wondering forever if you made a mistake.
wiseguy212 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I was with a woman I was deeply in love with. She'd tell me that she loved me and say that we were soulmates and that we'd be together forever. Yet she lied to me everyday, was constantly emailing other guys she'd meet from on-line dating sites, would get texts all the time we'd be together and lie about who they were from, dated other people behind my back, stole money from me, and cheated almost whenever she had the opportunity. With soulmates like that, who needs enemies.
LuCidiTy Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 If someone cheats on me, they're gone. No ifs ands or buts. It's just the way I'm made...I don't cheat and expect the same respect.
Author Parrish Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 I dont know why she cheated on me. She was stupid I guess. Said she was drunk and it didnt mean anything. It ment something to me though It just felt like she was my soulmate. I never been so close to anyone before. We talked everyday, she'd come visit me at work and everything. Do all sorts of sweet things she didnt have to. Felt like she was made for me.. Made me feel like she was proud of me and motivated me to do stuff better. The problem is.. I dont know if I can trust myself. When it comes to her I'm not very sensible. I wanted to try again but was scared i'd just make it more worse for me. What if I try again and she just screws me again? What if that was it? I'll never meet anyone like her again. I don't even want to meet anyone like her, I just want her. I don't want to loose her out of principal but she did betray me. If I know for a fact it wouldnt happen again I try again I dont care what she did I always been used to being alone but now it's unbearable. She made me want to have fun doing things, and do things well. Now I lost the motivation to do anything productive and theres no flavour in anything anymore. Feels like the point in everything just isn't there anymore Damnit why did she have to **** this up.. It just felt right, it felt right for once I finally found something that felt right
MalachiX Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I've never bought the drunk excuse. I've been drunk enough to know that you can stop yourself from having sex with someone. Could you say something on accident when drunk? Sure. Could you accidentally kiss someone? Perhaps. But sex is something that takes work and that there are plenty of opportunities to stop at any time (unless this is date rape which it doesn't sound like).
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