dmb05 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 (edited) Hey everyone.........this may be just a rant, but I have to get it out. My girlfriend broke up with me almost 2 months ago now and I was devastated at first, but now I'm doing much better. We were together 2.5 years and were very much in love. 2 weeks after we broke up, she was already with another guy who is in high school and is totally not her kind of guy. My friend told me they are already saying "I Love you", and all that stuff. She told him he's the one that's always been there for her and she is SO happy and glad to be with him. When she broke up with me, she wanted to be friends and wanted me to be there for her when she needed me because she said no one else understood her like I did. I got the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore". She said we may end up together in the future but right now she wasn't feeling the relationship. I told her I did not want to talk to her at all unless she wanted to work stuff out. Well, with her saying this new guy has always been there for her and she loves him, I just don't understand it. I thought she may come back at first, but now, I'm pretty sure she's gone for good. I'm starting to wonder now if I would even want her back if she did come back. It seems with her being "in love" with a guy after 2 weeks and being in a serious 2.5 year relationship after that, that she just "needs" someone and it's not really love at all. Anyways, my family, her family, and all of my friends tell me to just give it time and she'll be back. She'll realize how great of a guy I was to her and how much I did for her and she'll end up missing it. I've been in a much better mood than I've been in in a while the past 2 weeks and I just feel free I guess. She was always mad at me for wanting to hang out with friends, watch sports games with her family, or just about anything that DIDN'T involve her. Oh well, just had to get this out!! Thanks everyone! Edited March 23, 2008 by dmb05
LoveLace Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 It does sound a bit like she may just be in "rebound" mode right now. I'm not sure what the reasons were for your break-up, because that makes a difference, otherwise she'll probably start to miss you eventually and realize this fast-thing she'd doing is all a cop-out. I wouldn't count on that though, she might really want to stay with this guy. You were right for telling her not to call unless she wants to work it out. Don't let her use you as a shoulder to cry on or whatever.
Author dmb05 Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 We broke up because of arguing mainly. Yet the reason we started arguing was because she always got mad at me if I wanted to do other things that didn't involve her. She wanted to be on the phone with me HOURS a day, and I wanted to watch a tv show or hang out with friends and she'd get mad. I ended up not hanging out with friends and giving up a lot of my time for her and it's like she didn't appreciate it. She also thought my love for drums and music was stupid and told me off about it alot. She would just keep on and on about stuff and we would end up arguing about stuff that shouldn't have even mattered. We never argued about serious issues, just stuff she got mad at me over.
LoveLace Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 We broke up because of arguing mainly. Yet the reason we started arguing was because she always got mad at me if I wanted to do other things that didn't involve her. She wanted to be on the phone with me HOURS a day, and I wanted to watch a tv show or hang out with friends and she'd get mad. I ended up not hanging out with friends and giving up a lot of my time for her and it's like she didn't appreciate it. She also thought my love for drums and music was stupid and told me off about it alot. She would just keep on and on about stuff and we would end up arguing about stuff that shouldn't have even mattered. We never argued about serious issues, just stuff she got mad at me over. Um, but it is serious to put down someone's passions in life. That's not cool. You want someone to support and encourage the hobbies that you enjoy. You want someone who allows you to keep your independence, and doesn't expect you to revolve your world around them. You are way better off without. Your friends are important to you, your music is important to you, no one should be allowed to step in the way of that. Trust me, you could easily find a gal that thinks it's really cool that you play the drums... Seriously, you should feel glad another guy has to deal with her now instead of you.
Author dmb05 Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Yeah.........I think that has helped me to move on a lot faster the past few weeks because I realize now how much she hated a lot of the things I did that make me ME. She had things in her life she loved and I supported her, yet she always nagged about what I liked. If someone doesn't love me for who I am, then you're right, why SHOULD I want to be with them?
LoveLace Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Yeah.........I think that has helped me to move on a lot faster the past few weeks because I realize now how much she hated a lot of the things I did that make me ME. She had things in her life she loved and I supported her, yet she always nagged about what I liked. If someone doesn't love me for who I am, then you're right, why SHOULD I want to be with them? Exactly! If she ever tries to come back, you should say, "why in the world would I want that back?" I can see my friends anytime I want and there's no one telling me my hobbies are stupid, it's been quite nice, so go away!
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Why do they do that? Because in a rebound, a person tends to map every quality onto their new partner that they think their old one was lacking. Pretty easy to fall in "love" when your new partner is "everything your old one wasn't" - except for one pesky little thing that tends to happen: reality sets in, and it crashes and burns nine times out of ten.
Author dmb05 Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 I honestly don't get this girl now. It's like she's going way out of her way to make sure everyone knows how happy, in love, and thankful she is for this failing high school guy. She keeps telling all of my friends who she talked SO bad about while we were together, how happy she is and none of them really reply to her. They tell me what she says and they think she's just stupid and immature. She's a freshman in college and is hanging out with 9th and 10th graders now since we've been broken up. I don't guess there's much wrong with that, but it seems like a big step back from when she was with me. Oh well, after the honeymoon phase of this relationship fizzles out, I think she'll be miserable because she wants a guy that knows what he wants in life, is independent, has a job, etc. This guy she's with now has NONE of that and doesn't even care.
LoveLace Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 Obviously she's avoiding growing up big time...when I was a freshman in college I wanted nothing to do with high schoolers...I was in the big game now...
Author dmb05 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 Well one of my good friends that leads music at the church she's started going to on Wednesdays called me last night and wants me to play drums tonight and Wednesday. I was reluctant at first because she and her new guy both go there on Wednesdays, and she sings. Her new guy usually plays drums, but he's so bad at it that my friend wants me to play instead. Anyways, I'm sure she'll be trying to "show off" in front of me with him, so I don't know how I'm going to handle it seeing them together for the first time. Any advice!!??
LoveLace Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Well one of my good friends that leads music at the church she's started going to on Wednesdays called me last night and wants me to play drums tonight and Wednesday. I was reluctant at first because she and her new guy both go there on Wednesdays, and she sings. Her new guy usually plays drums, but he's so bad at it that my friend wants me to play instead. Anyways, I'm sure she'll be trying to "show off" in front of me with him, so I don't know how I'm going to handle it seeing them together for the first time. Any advice!!?? First of all....she knocked you for being a drummer so now she's dating another drummer? OMG.... I say, you go and beat those drums in a way that shows it makes you feel much better than she ever could. YOU show off. Otherwise, pay no attention to her what so ever, mingle around and keep a smile on your face like your happier than you've ever been. If she has the nerve to say something to you or near you (hoping you will hear it), just relax and walk away, go on with your business. In other words your giving her the message that you no longer want ANY part of her high-school drama, you could care less about what she's doing, you could care less about this other guy because your way too cool to put up with a b*tch like her....he's younger and dumber so you got the upper hand here...
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