la_trojanskin Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 (edited) I met a girl on a Tuesday last week on her way to finals. At the time I was sincere and told her she was the cutest girl I'd seen all day. She lit up and was all happy to talk to me but I only spent maybe 2 min. talking to her as I had things to do and she was in the "finals" zone having just done an all nighter. Asked for her # and she said "sure...why not" with a smile and I ended up with her business card. I called her the following afternoon (wed.) ~9:30 pm. And lo and behold she picked up the random #. Said i was surprised she picked up the random, she said she was curious who it was. We talked for around 15 min. about all kinds of stuff where she's from what she's doing...she asked me plenty of questions...joked around a bit...overall a solid conversation with someone you don't know. Turns out she's paying her own tuition and is living w/her grandma at the moment to save $. Seems like a focused girl. She said she was really sorry but she had been studying for this exam she has and that she had to get back to it but really enjoyed talking with me. I asked if she was up for drinks friday and she said she's really focused on finals through monday but to get in touch with her closer to when we can hang out and that we would. Fast forward to yesterday (Sat.) I sent her a text just to stay fresh in her mind and we had an exchange over a few hrs..its after these texts i'm not sure how to proceed or what to make of things: Me: Lobster diving off of PV sunday afternoon. bring some friends if you're in. Her: Whos this? Me: Awwww I feel so neglected. You need to stop giving your # out to boys. Her: Haha, im sorry i just got a new phone and dont have your # saved to my contacts Her: Im also kinda out of it although i have 2 red bulls and 4 cups of coffee pulsing through my veins, haha last nite was yet another all nighter doing finals At this point I felt like being goofy so I said some gibberish: Me: You're like a giant blueberry muffin. Except you're not giant, made of blueberries, or very muffiny. Aside from that youre just like one. Her: Thanks i think ....haha Me: You're welcome i think! So if you feel compelled to catch crustaceans tomm let me know and you better save me in your phone! Her: Haha, whill do what's ur full name? Me: Very clever of you... that or you had an ephiphany and remembered my name Her: Awe you caught me haha, i'm sorry, lately XYZ (her school) has been the only name on my mind Me: Well I'll be John from ABC (my school) for now. You're from hawaii right? You're getting changed to "Spam girl" in my phone. Me: PS - you owe me a drink when we hang out this week for your sheistyness Her: Haha nice, ill buy the drink if its water since that's about all i can afford at the moment lol Her: Have a good night John from ABC, ttyl So she just one of those people thats really focused on school? I mean it appears she completely forgot who I was at this point. I'm in law school and know people like this who are really focused on studying. Also I can't really tell if she's just been polite all along b/c she's a polite girl or if she could really be out of things due to finals etc... I should also note...there's minor time constraints as she leaves for Hawaii for a week some time in the near future...next week or so to visit family and I'm headed out of town for 3 or 4 days as well. Basically I think I have to get her out this week at least 1x (2x would be better) so that things aren't dead when she goes home for a week. She's a cute girl and I know all too well how flaky they get and how many options they have distracting them at all times. Edited March 23, 2008 by la_trojanskin
Covonia Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Me: You're like a giant blueberry muffin. Except you're not giant, made of blueberries, or very muffiny. Aside from that youre just like one That has to be the most cringeworthy thing I've read. I don't even understand why you put that in the text message if I'm honest. Was it an attempt at being funny? There's a few scenario's here; 1) She is not interested and is just being friendly, she probably feels awkward and is too cowardly to tell you to back off. 2) She's interested, but she has a lot of school work on and is just focusing on her future. From what you've typed up, I would go for the first option, but I've been wrong in the past.
StartingOver07 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 The blueberry muffin thing was weird. Don't do that again. Ok, she told you when you called Wednesday that she's busy with exams until Monday, so why did you text her for an outing on Sunday? Also, Sunday is Easter and she may be spending it with her family. This all leaves you in the awkward/unhappy position of having to wonder about her "intentions," which could have been avoided if you hadn't asked her for a date on a day when she'd previously told you she's be busy. Ugh. I say, call her Monday night and ask if you can take her for a drink to celebrate the end of her exams. Worst she can do is say no and then you'll know she isn't interested. Also, when you call her next, stop putting her on the defensive, i.e., don't ask her why she picked up her phone or accuse her of shiestiness (whatever that is), or ask why she hasn't memorized your number to associate it with your name, etc.
Author la_trojanskin Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Yeah my intention w/the text was more just to keep me in her mind which evidently she'd already forgotten. I'll send her a text over on monday afternoon (after I know her finals are over) telling her we're doing water/drinks or maybe coffee on tue. or wed. I figure the text is less intrusive than a phone call and I'll get a better sense at that point if she wants to meet up or flake.
garnet Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I disagree with the above poster that you should call her Monday night. She'll have just finished with her exams, give the girl some breathing room! You're coming on way too strong here with someone you just met. I would back way off and maybe contact her later in the week. If she doesn't say yes at that time, she's definitely not interested and you should drop it. The blueberry muffin thing would have killed it for me. I would immediately lose interest if someone said that to me, especially someone I barely knew! Sorry, but you should be more careful with the words you choose.
Author la_trojanskin Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 I concur on the monday night calling. I would be tired after exams as well. I'm thinking a monday afternoon text works fine suggesting something low key for tue/wed. She's out of town on Thur. as am I for a week so need to get something done for tue or wed. Its down to call on tuesday for wed. get together or the lower key text monday afternoon to set up her choice of tue/wed
Covonia Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Give it a try, but no blueberry muffin jokes, seriously dude, you might have damaged your chances with that comment.
garnet Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I would NOT text her on Monday. If it were me, I'd feel very smothered. Wait until Tuesday, and then maybe just a text saying you hope her exams went well, then make the casual offer and say you hope she can make it. Since she's just done with exams and preparing to leave town, I'm betting it's not a good time for her. But, maybe I'm wrong.
Author la_trojanskin Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 yeah i'm sure its not a good time for her but i've dated enough cute girls to know if I don't see her before she leaves town for a week its dead. I could see calling after finals as putting her on the spot hence the text as its not anywhere near as obtrusive. I think I'll tell her to choose Tue or Wed to hang out but nothing after thursday as I've got a flight out of town then. Girls are fickle creatures and cute girls always have options. I figure if I can just get her out I can flirt with her and get a kiss which leaves things in a better position in a weeks time when we both get back in town.
Advocate's Devilette Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) Stop your generalizations about women being fickle and "flaky," it's just not true. It's just excuses for women not being into you and many more women in the past not being into you. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED AND IS TRYING TO BE NICE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT. Hope this helps. Edited March 24, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author la_trojanskin Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 Stop your generalizations about women being fickle and "flaky," it's just not true. It's just excuses for women not being into you and many more women in the past not being into you. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED AND IS TRYING TO BE NICE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT. Hope this helps. Yeah maybe...I'm not a bad looking guy and have done my share of flakiness on other girls. Times where if circumstances were different who knows they could've been my soul mate but I was too busy with what I was up to at the time and meeting someone wasn't a priority at that moment. I think anyone can be the same way and the vibe I'm getting is that she's busy, been busy w/school, and doesn't probably remember much at this point. I'll try for the tue/wed if she's "busy" i'll let her know I'm going out of town for a week but that if she wants to hang out when I get back next week send me a text...puts the ball in her court and I'll ignore from there.
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