Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 So why are you any different? It sounds like you are building a case, giving yourself permission. You don't have to be a saint, right? Most guys would, by your own admission. That's why it's so f*cking hard to believe you. Wake the f*ck up! You know what you are on the cusp of doing, so own up. Of course there are differences between guys. If not then every man will cheat at some point in his life. Jesus I'm anything but a saint, in accordance with the content of my original post.
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Of course there are differences between guys. If not then every man will cheat at some point in his life. Jesus I'm anything but a saint, in accordance with the content of my original post. This is my theory.. MOST if not ALL men would cheat, if given the opportunity.. and you have it.. you are playing with fire and YOU WILL get burnt.
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 This is my theory.. MOST if not ALL men would cheat, if given the opportunity.. and you have it.. you are playing with fire and YOU WILL get burnt. Hmm...there is a website that says "Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives." http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html You're pretty close with "most, if not all." I generally contend that all dudes will have opportunities in their life unless they permanently live in podunk USA. So I have more faith in my brethren than you! I was really hoping for a (psycho)analysis of my problem. There was one poster above that asked some great questions, I hope he/she responds or anyone else. Not "You are just like all other men and stop this sh*t now because you will cheat on your W." But maybe this board has spoken I have been tried, judged, and convicted. Did you have a chance to read my other posts that she a little more light on the situation? Or has enough light been shone?
OpenBook Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 If she wants me, and I want her, and it's out in the open, then I think I'll be happy and at peace. For I know that I've "gotten the girl." When I was single, the prize for going out to a bar is to flirt up a girl and take her home. Because that is (one form of) validation of your attractiveness. But I can't take this girl home. So I'm looking for some concrete confirmation. That's all. What do you think? Yeah, she wants you. You've still "got it." There I said it -- it's out in the open now, at least here on LoveShack. Are you happy and at peace now? Will you be a year from now when you start thinking about the next "other woman"? How about this... If your wife all of a sudden took a great sexual interest in you, and became a fireball in the bedroom (and on the kitchen table, and in public places,...) would THAT make you happy and at peace? Would you stop thinking of "strange" then??
2sunny Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 2sunny, you think all guys are pigs if they have feelings or fantasies of having sex with other women? Even for months? How do I suppress my feelings for wanting to have tons of sex? If a man has two testicles, he will have those feelings. Acting on those thoughts can be extremely damaging, perhaps criminal. Having those thoughts is quite natural. NEVER did I say men are pigs! men are HUMAN! yep, the thoughts feelings are quite normal for a man or woman. suppress the feelings? i am not sure - but if they are out in the open - maybe your wife can help your relationship/marriage and work through things with you as a team... i would love to have tons of sex - as i love it... and i love men in general... i am not married at this time... but my own boundaries are in check at the moment and my mind says no... however it is also likely that we all could potentially have a weak moment or lapse in judgment (as we are human). don't underestimate your conscience. that's why i say consider sharing this with your wife - it may make your marriage stronger. just my opinion...
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 How about this... If your wife all of a sudden took a great sexual interest in you, and became a fireball in the bedroom (and on the kitchen table, and in public places,...) would THAT make you happy and at peace? Would you stop thinking of "strange" then?? Well...yea. I would as far as I know. I'm certainly willing to try!
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Hmm...there is a website that says "Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives." http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html You're pretty close with "most, if not all." I generally contend that all dudes will have opportunities in their life unless they permanently live in podunk USA. So I have more faith in my brethren than you! I was really hoping for a (psycho)analysis of my problem. There was one poster above that asked some great questions, I hope he/she responds or anyone else. Not "You are just like all other men and stop this sh*t now because you will cheat on your W." But maybe this board has spoken I have been tried, judged, and convicted. Did you have a chance to read my other posts that she a little more light on the situation? Or has enough light been shone? I don't believe in those stats.. do you honestly think that married men who cheat will answer honestly to those surveys.. I don't think so.. Plus I don't see any difference between marriage and common-law.. so maybe those percentage are based on marriage only.. so that would bring the stats even higher. What kind of analysis are you hoping for.. you said yourself that you want to have sex with her... that you think about her all the time.. Let me see... I believe that you are suffering from that condition most men suffer at least once in their life.. it's called lusting over a person other than your spouse.. not sure about the term.. let me consult my books..
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Oh I should add.. did I judge or condemn you.. not at all .. I don't think I told you that you should NOT cheat.. Hey.. you don't know me... I love MMs.
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 NEVER did I say men are pigs! men are HUMAN! yep, the thoughts feelings are quite normal for a man or woman. suppress the feelings? i am not sure - but if they are out in the open - maybe your wife can help your relationship/marriage and work through things with you as a team... i would love to have tons of sex - as i love it... and i love men in general... i am not married at this time... but my own boundaries are in check at the moment and my mind says no... however it is also likely that we all could potentially have a weak moment or lapse in judgment (as we are human). don't underestimate your conscience. that's why i say consider sharing this with your wife - it may make your marriage stronger. just my opinion... Thanks for your opinion. I completely agree with you that it will make our marriage stronger. I wrote in a previous post about our new-found problems with sex. It is a difficult topic for us to discuss for reasons that I wrote. And now that we are spending so little time together it makes it worse. Before when we weren't so busy I've talked about going to therapy and she thought it was a luke warm idea.
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 I don't believe in those stats.. do you honestly think that married men who cheat will answer honestly to those surveys.. I don't think so.. Plus I don't see any difference between marriage and common-law.. so maybe those percentage are based on marriage only.. so that would bring the stats even higher. Yea I don't know how credible they are. Anonymous surveys might be fairly accurate, but I agree that they will always underestimate. I honestly thought the 50-70 was high. What kind of analysis are you hoping for.. you said yourself that you want to have sex with her... that you think about her all the time.. OK. First about me wanting to have sex with her. Yes I think I have dreamed about that. Wait a minute....I don't think I have. I can't remember (hey! I can remember some of my dreams! A psychiatrist once told me that I'm not supposed to be able to do that.) Well in any event me "wanting to have sex with her" is real, but is not concrete if that makes any sense. I mean, I want to have sex with Heidi Klum. I want to have sex with about 75% of all women that I meet. I'm really f*cking horny. Now the thinking all the time about her thing is more concerning to me, it is a distraction. That's not what I want, especially now. I'm most curious about a few things I originally wrote. Why would a SW want to quickly become close friends with a MM? I don't think the opposite happens with as much frequency. Additionally, why would she spend 3 hours talking to me about bland sex with some other dude and want my opinion? I could see 30 minutes, but three hours? I do value all of the opinions on this board but I just want them to be constructive, not packaged, ready-to-go right hooks for men who post here.
OpenBook Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I do value all of the opinions on this board but I just want them to be constructive, not packaged, ready-to-go right hooks for men who post here. Welcome to LoveShack buddy. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. :D:D TIIIIIINNNNN -- ROOFFFF!!
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Yea I don't know how credible they are. Anonymous surveys might be fairly accurate, but I agree that they will always underestimate. I honestly thought the 50-70 was high. OK. First about me wanting to have sex with her. Yes I think I have dreamed about that. Wait a minute....I don't think I have. I can't remember (hey! I can remember some of my dreams! A psychiatrist once told me that I'm not supposed to be able to do that.) Well in any event me "wanting to have sex with her" is real, but is not concrete if that makes any sense. I mean, I want to have sex with Heidi Klum. I want to have sex with about 75% of all women that I meet. I'm really f*cking horny. Now the thinking all the time about her thing is more concerning to me, it is a distraction. That's not what I want, especially now. I'm most curious about a few things I originally wrote. Why would a SW want to quickly become close friends with a MM? I don't think the opposite happens with as much frequency. Additionally, why would she spend 3 hours talking to me about bland sex with some other dude and want my opinion? I could see 30 minutes, but three hours? I do value all of the opinions on this board but I just want them to be constructive, not packaged, ready-to-go right hooks for men who post here. Sorry dude.. but there is no 'advice menu' on LS.. you can't tell posters how and what to post.. deal with it.. Why would a SW want to quickly become close friends with a MM? Why not? Maybe she's not even thinking about having sex with you.. lol.. maybe you're reading too much into this 'platonic friendship'.. Maybe she values your judgement and wants your advices. Who knows what she's thinking.. No one on here can 'guess' what she has in mind.. Why don't you ask her? I see a lot of men who think that just because a SW smile to them, they want to have sex with them.. men think like that.. not women.. men read waaayyy too much in insignificant body language.
OpenBook Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I'm most curious about a few things I originally wrote. Why would a SW want to quickly become close friends with a MM? I don't think the opposite happens with as much frequency. Because she's into you. Additionally, why would she spend 3 hours talking to me about bland sex with some other dude and want my opinion? I could see 30 minutes, but three hours? Because she's PSYCHO.
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Because she's PSYCHO. That made me laugh! She is psycho. She told me that he's boffed this guy about 15 times over the last year or so and it's been completely un-emotional for her. I told her that's impossible. And if that's really happening then it's a pathology.
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 and this line caught my attention. Ultimately I want to know if this other woman *wants me*. I think this is quite common for men and women... they get a 'kick' out of knowing that other people are drooling over them... This is also a theory that I have tested on a few occasions... and it worked every time... Once the man knows that the woman 'wants' him... he will eventually 'give in'.... trust me on that one.. it never failed with me.. One guy told me he would NEVER ever cheat on his 2nd wife.. (6 years) they had a 4 yr old son... he said he loved her...blablabla.. I got him the same night.. he cried like a baby... You want to test your theory.. but you'll get caught too..
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 No one on here can 'guess' what she has in mind.. Why don't you ask her? Isn't that the point of this? Of course I can't probe her mind. That's why I've considered asking her in the first place, about the whole "want me" thing. However after reading the multitude of posts I don't think I'm going to do it. What about these long conversations about sex? Put yourself in her shoes. I know you don't know her at all but just indulge me for a moment.
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 That made me laugh! She is psycho. She told me that he's boffed this guy about 15 times over the last year or so and it's been completely un-emotional for her. I told her that's impossible. And if that's really happening then it's a pathology. WTF are you talking about? You think that all men/women who have unemotional sex are suffering from some kind of pathology???? WOW.. just WOW... dude you're completely off here..
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 No one on here can 'guess' what she has in mind.. Why don't you ask her? Isn't that the point of this? Of course I can't probe her mind. That's why I've considered asking her in the first place, about the whole "want me" thing. However after reading the multitude of posts I don't think I'm going to do it. What about these long conversations about sex? Put yourself in her shoes. I know you don't know her at all but just indulge me for a moment. Geezzz... now I'm getting to know you a little bit more.. I've had long conversations about sex at work, with friends, female or male.. and it can only mean that she was having a friendly conversation about sex with someone she trusts.. Told you before.. you're reading waaay too much into this... The more I read your posts.. the more I think you're quite old-fashioned... not to be rude but I think you're not too open-minded about male/female relationship... you think that if a woman and a man talk about sex.. they want to sleep with each other... humm... I don't think so..
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 WTF are you talking about? You think that all men/women who have unemotional sex are suffering from some kind of pathology???? WOW.. just WOW... dude you're completely off here.. For most cases I do believe that. If you take a weekend trip to Cancun and find some hottie and have sex, and never see him/her again, I think it can be "unemotional". You know, there is always some residual emotions with sex. To say it's completely devoid of emotion is deluding onself. Even in the Cancun example above, you will go home with a happy memory. That is emotional. In this case it's regular sex for 18 months with the same guy. And she said "unemotional." You think that is healthy?
OpenBook Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 That made me laugh! She is psycho. She told me that he's boffed this guy about 15 times over the last year or so and it's been completely un-emotional for her. I told her that's impossible. And if that's really happening then it's a pathology. Then if you're ever tempted to do anything with her, I hope you'll keep that in mind. Psycho's can make your life a living hell afterwards.
Author ItCanBeTough Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 In this case it's regular sex for 18 months with the same guy. And she said "unemotional." You think that is healthy? Note I meant "You think that is possible?" I couldn't edit my previous post.
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 For most cases I do believe that. If you take a weekend trip to Cancun and find some hottie and have sex, and never see him/her again, I think it can be "unemotional". You know, there is always some residual emotions with sex. To say it's completely devoid of emotion is deluding onself. Even in the Cancun example above, you will go home with a happy memory. That is emotional. In this case it's regular sex for 18 months with the same guy. And she said "unemotional." You think that is healthy? Yes I think that you can have a f*ck friend for years and not be emotionally involved... I think you are mixing emotion with attraction... I've had a fling in Cancun.. he was a 23 yr old hottie.. most beautiful guy I've had so far... Was I emotionally involved.. no.. was I attracted.. you bet!...
Cobra_X30 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 That made me laugh! She is psycho. She told me that he's boffed this guy about 15 times over the last year or so and it's been completely un-emotional for her. I told her that's impossible. And if that's really happening then it's a pathology. She was trying to tell you something. I'm not sure exactly what, but it was no accident her bringing this up with you! She might be trying to let you know that she is available for no-strings sex. She might have just been trying to make you jealous. Chances are... she was sitting around wondering why you don't make a move on her. Do you want to make a move? Overall, you will be happier getting the same thing from your wife... but it will take WAAAYYY more effort to get there. Do you want to put in that effort? I mean it sounds like your wife has some major issues with sex. Oh FWB= Friends with Benefits. and this line caught my attention. Ultimately I want to know if this other woman *wants me*. I think this is quite common for men and women... they get a 'kick' out of knowing that other people are drooling over them... This is also a theory that I have tested on a few occasions... and it worked every time... Once the man knows that the woman 'wants' him... he will eventually 'give in'.... trust me on that one.. it never failed with me.. One guy told me he would NEVER ever cheat on his 2nd wife.. (6 years) they had a 4 yr old son... he said he loved her...blablabla.. I got him the same night.. he cried like a baby... You want to test your theory.. but you'll get caught too.. Yes Lizzie, we get it. Your irresistable! However, I don't think it counts as much when you use Rufees and Ropes! Oh... and the unemotional sex thing.. Complete BS. If there wasn't an emotion involved... You wouldnt want to do it!
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 She was trying to tell you something. I'm not sure exactly what, but it was no accident her bringing this up with you! She might be trying to let you know that she is available for no-strings sex. She might have just been trying to make you jealous. Chances are... she was sitting around wondering why you don't make a move on her. Do you want to make a move? Overall, you will be happier getting the same thing from your wife... but it will take WAAAYYY more effort to get there. Do you want to put in that effort? I mean it sounds like your wife has some major issues with sex. Oh FWB= Friends with Benefits. Yes Lizzie, we get it. Your irresistable! However, I don't think it counts as much when you use Rufees and Ropes! Oh... and the unemotional sex thing.. Complete BS. If there wasn't an emotion involved... You wouldnt want to do it! What is Rufees and Ropes??? care to explain
Cobra_X30 Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 What is Rufees and Ropes??? care to explain LOL... Rufees? The knockout date rape drug? It was a joke, mostly because you said the guy was crying. Kind of reminded me of that movie Misery.
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