kathy95 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 thank you for responding to anyone who does. i really could use some good advice now. i've been having a little trouble in my current relationship. weve been together for almost 3 months. things have been good , until recently. lately, i've been feeling alittle neglected by him. like he'd rather choose anyone else over me. we havent been hanging out as much. i dont bitch to him because i hate annoying girls who always bitch to their boyfriends. i find that really annoying. but its been getting to me that he always has things to do and cant hang out.. anyway. last thursday i was waiting for him because i thought we were going to finally hang out. i was waiting all day for to get home. finallhy i just decided to call him and he said he was leaving, but not yet. ok, im not mad, just a little frustrated. its almost 10 at night and im still waiting. my friend calls me and asks me to hang out. she was going to a bar with a couple other girls. i never go out, and told her i'd go. i didnt want to wait in my house any longer. so i tell my boyfriend i'm going out with her. at 1st, he doesnt care. i tell him where im going and he responds by telling me that he'll talk to me tomorrow. now im understanding about that. he doesnt want to talk to me when i'm drunk. but--he goes out a lot and drinks. calls me...and i talk to him. hes done MANY things when he was drunk that i dont feel like listing here. (he has not cheated though, well, that i know of) i went out, had fun. i didnt drink a lot. i wasnt drunk. i stayed over my friends house. i decided to text him around 3 (hes normally awake then) just to say goodnight. i wasnt obnoxiously drunk calling him. or texting him drunk at alll. he never answered. the next day, i called him...knowing he'd be mad. he was short on the phone and says he'll talk to me later and he's busy...he doesnt call me all day. so around 2 in the morning, i text him and ask him if he wants to talk to me. he says hes busy again. i ask if everything is ok. he says "yeah whatever" ... i tell him that i miss talking to him and i don't think i did anything to deserve to be ignored like this and when he wants to talk id wanna hear from him.. he said ok. the next day, i didn't hear from him alllll day. and still haven't. did i do something wrong? im SOO confused. i need an explanation. i know when he's mad, he doesnt talk to me. he claims he "doesnt want to say something he'll regret" ... so fine, he needs time... but WHAT DID I DO? why isnt he calling? what the hell did i do wrong? the only reason i went out is because i felt like he was avoiding me. was he mad i went to a bar? i dont get it! any advice will help me. please.
NuTuDating Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 You have to talk to him. Communicate that you'd like to see him more often and that you feel neglected. If he can't handle it, move on. Keep going out with your girlfriends and you'll meet another guy who will treat you right.
compassion42 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 It sounds like your relationship is in a challenging place. Good communication may help but is difficult when he won't respond to you. Maybe he isn't ready for a steady relationship and doesn't know how to tell you? I think you should find out what's going on with him-fast.
shanny Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I really don't mean to be rude by saying this, but it sound like he has lost some interest in you. Being only 3 months in, the spark should still be there and he should want to spend a lot of time with you. Or maybe he didn't really lose interest, but it was going too fast for him and this is his way of slowing it down. Has he had other serious relationships before? How has he handled them? Even if he has lost interest, for any reason, you've only been together for a few months, and after the inevitable week of being heartbroken, you can happily move on and find someone who will treat you better. I hope I am wrong about this, but that's just my opinion
Author kathy95 Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 yeah i was thinking that too. but i feel like i need an explanation. i have NO CLUE whats going on, thats why this is driving me insane. i dont know if he's lost interest or not. if he has, TELL ME . he's leaving everything up in the air. i fee like if he's going to break up with me, JUST DO IT. stop ignoring me. i need to talk about things i cant just ignore things like that. its doesnt make sense because just last week, before anything happened, he was telling me he loved me and acting like he wanted to spend more time together. so he's lost interest after a day? because i didnt sit at home and wait for him? cause i went out? i dotn know, im just driving myself crazy over this. i want to callhim to talk, just for one minute even. im just so lostttt. but i know if i do, ill make the situation worse. i'll only get short one word answers and itll either go nowhere or get me even more upset. anyway, thanks for the advice. i still have no idea though.
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