evoLve Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Ive got a quick question because I cant seem to figure out a definite answer and am confused. So I work at a certain store which is adjacent to some other stores and 3 nice restaurants, all in the same shopping center. Maybe 2-3 days ago a girl (pretty attractive might I add) walks in to use the bathroom, and as she walks past me she winks, smiles and says whats up in a flirty manner. I got tied up helping a customer when she exited so I wasn’t able to talk to her. I figured I missed a pretty nice opportunity until today when my 2 friends and I went to lunch next door (about 12:30), where it turns out she is a hostess. As soon as I walk in, she starts with the flirtatious looks. She completely ignores my friends and wont take her eyes off me. When she seats us, still, flirtatious eye contact, and as im sitting there reading the menu, it continues. So I decide to walk up and ask for her number, which without hesitation she gives me, but being she is busy I could barely introduce myself and sat back down but she said 'ill talk to you later'. The flirty looks continue even after I sit down. So I decide to call her at about 5:30 thinking her shift might have ended at 5, I call twice, the second time just to leave a message but she picks up. She tells me shes just getting back to work (from taking out the trash, I believe?) and that she'll call me in a few hours when she gets out. A few hours go by, 10:00/11:00 rolls by, and no call, and I still haven't received one. My question is this... Why wouldn't she call? I ask because Ive had other girls who I was interested in first, who werent so interested, say they'll call back and never do, understandably. But she was the one who first made contact with me and seemed so eager. Did she forget, or for whatever reason change her mind? Should I call her back tomorrow, or text her with a simple 'call me if youre not busy', or wait? Im just not sure about how pushy I should be with a girl who was so obviously interested. Im thinking to just text her with a simple message tomorrow and hope she calls, but im not sure. Any input?
directx Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Yeah, that's weird. I hate that. You don't want to keep calling, yet you don't want to miss an opportunity. My opinion, you can't keep calling. Not without feedback. I would stop calling, but if you see her again in real life, don't be mad. But be frank and honest. Try this: have your number on your business card or whatever, and when you see her, let HER bring up the fact she hasn't gotten back to you. If she doesn't bring it up, she just lost interest and maybe the top that is just too nice to say so. But if she does, give her your number and say "Why don't you call me when you get the chance. Otherwise I feel like I am pestering you." Oh, and are you sure you got the right number? Some answering machines are nondescript, and maybe you got a digit wrong.
Green Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 First off, whats your job... because if its some 12$ and hour retail thing, just ignore your customers in a smooth way to chat her up for a few minutes and really hook her. I don't think you should call again untill you do some flirting in person again which you will have the oportunity to do. I'm guesing shes between 18-22 and believe me girls in that range are really flaky. I mean I'm dating this 21 year old who to my knowledge really likes me (we've had lots of sex) and she is constantly flaky about everything and shes got every silly excuse in the book. Your just going to have to power through the flakyness and get to know her more, it will become pretty apperent soon enough if she is just flaky or plain doesnt like you. But for now I say shes probably flaky, proceed with more inperson flirtation and then maybe an interesting text on a weekday about how you want to take her to get a drink
Saxis Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Oh, and are you sure you got the right number? Some answering machines are nondescript, and maybe you got a digit wrong. Doubtful if she answered the second time. Since he's talking about texting her, I'm sure he has it programmed into the phone already, too. I would give her all the next day to get back to you, and then try one more time the day after that. Who knows, could've just been busy....?
Balthazar Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 She may believe she came on a bit strong,showing too much interest. Now that she knows she has hooked you, she may want to readdress the balance by playing a little hard to get. I would pop by the restaurant and establish contact; I wouldn't call,definitely wouldn't text her. Speak to directly and ask her out to a fun date. If she's game, she will accept. Good luck
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Why won't she call? Maybe she is one of those "dating book" chicks who follow various "rules" for dating laid out by those who get ridiculously rich on writing stuff about teaching people how to play relationship games. Conventional "dating book" wisdom is something along the lines of ... "don't call him, and rarely return his calls." Oh, and "if he hasn't specifically asked you out on a date, he is not interested" and especially this one - "never accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday." If you want to see what the deal is, call her up on a Monday or a Tuesday and ask her specifically for a date for the following weekend. You may have to call a few times if she is a "dating book" kind of girl. At least this way you can find out whether or not you have a shot without having to wonder.
Rowdy Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 As another person mentioned, she is at an age where she is a flake. My advice is that you definitely do not call her. The more you call, the more desperate you seem to her. Since you work nearby her and will probably see her in person soon, you could approach her and try to set up a date for next weekend. If you do, do not bring up the issue of her not calling you back.
DogMetal Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I don't think you should call either. And I agree with Balthazaar mostly. Sounds like she is tipping the balance of power. Let us know how it turns out.
AussieJack Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 (edited) I don't think you should call either. And I agree with Balthazaar mostly. Sounds like she is tipping the balance of power. Let us know how it turns out. I think that you have met an "attention wh0re "...they are women who get off on playing attention seeking games with guys. In the olden days we used to call 'em "preek teasers"..and we treated them like lepers . Just ignore her entirely. She knows that you are interested and this will trigger off in her the need to draw you back into her cone of influence. IF you go back in and play,she will withdraw again and so on - it goes around and around..IF you continue to ignore her it will make her crazy and then you get a front row set to the spectacle of a grown woman acting like a stupid needy child desperate for attention of any kind. See, women are not complicated at all guys.. Aussie Jack's Easter tip - "Most women who love male attention will feel a STRONG attraction to you if you reject them " I am going to catch shyte for that from the hens, men, but you need to try if for yourself to see how true it is.. Edited March 23, 2008 by AussieJack
AussieJack Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I "Most women who love male attention will feel a STRONG attraction to you if you reject them " .. OH, another gem from mytreasure trove - " To a woman, being ignored = rejection "
Author evoLve Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Yup, I do work full-time in retail right now while in college, and I did casually blow a customer off the other day to try and talk to her, which is when she walked right out. I told him I needed to get something out of the back room lol. I think she's 18/19. I thought it might be a good idea to wait a day and call the next because as Saxis said, she might have just been busy, but if everyones thinking it would probably be better to wait, thats what ill do. I do work practically next door to her, so I doubt I wont see her again; besides I dont want to seem pushy or desperate, cause im really not. I just dont get how it is she is thinking. Usually if a girl doesnt call back I take it as theyre not interested and forget it, but talk about mixed signals... Im also pretty hesitant to stop by again, being that I dont want to seem desperate, or especially stalker-ish. Besides like I said its a nice (not so cheap) restaurant so its not a place I want to have lunch at frequently. I guess ill just wait and see what happens, hopefully ill bump into her again within a day or two. It would suck though if she intended to call me back and confused my number with another one in her recent calls on her phone, oh well... And yes I programmed her number into my phone, only because I like to know whos calling before I pick up. Thats why I dont delete peoples numbers who I dont want to talk to, this way I dont have to
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