rab6 Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I met this girl about 6 months ago and ending up dating her for about two months. she pursued me hard for a while but i decided to keep my distance to keep things simple in my life. i was having fun being uninvolved or attached to any one. that only lasted for a while than we started dating and mutually agreed we had awesome chemistry and a great connection. we both felt that what we had was amazing, in bed and all definately felt we were falling hard for each other. she immediately told me she can't get serious, we'll take it day by day, doesn't like to be labeled boyfriend girlfriend, has issues with commitment, had a rotton time last year with an ex and in the past,etc...basically a true commitment phobic and so am I, however, she didn't want me to sleep with others and vise versa so we agreed to be monogamous. it seemed great, than sure enough, within two or so weeks back from now the affection stops, sex and it's more important for her to spend time with others than me and i mean most of her time time. obviously she's no longer as friendly towards me and i feel like a burdon to her. a definate shift in body language has occurred. once she won me over she completely stopped trying but she does call me alot, than i began hearing we need to slow down and we're getting too serious. we talked and agreed to slow down which I understand. I have never pressured her to do anything and by being patient I hope to build an even better friendship. she said she loves me to death (which she says about her friends) and i've become one of her best friends, loves hanging out with me, i'm an amazing person im everyway and if the timing was right i could be that guy, we have unbelievable sex and i have a brain upstairs to offer, in turn, i'm a positive ,healthy influence for her. but can't, again, get serious right now. In addition, she doesn't want to lose me, we will still be monogamous and we can still have sex, as she put it, once in a while, which seems weird to me. not to go on and on, ya right, but would you agree that she just wants out and can't pull the trigger? I told her to only call me when she feels like it and i mean it. i know the feeling that you're obligated to call and i hate it too. the funny thing is i don't wait around for her to call but she does and eventhough it "feels" over she will still make references to the future, like, a trip, etc...it's like she want's me around but doesn't. she might be bipolar or something because her behavior is very inconsistant. she'll invite me to hang out than not answer the phone when i'll say i'll call but call back an hour later when i've made other plans. i do feel heartbroken that the affection has stopped because I really felt we had something unique after only two-months which really makes me mad at myself for letting my feelings go. she said it's all in her head, she needs to work on herself and her issues and can't worry about someone else. that it's not me at all which is hard to believe though. i hear girls don't say what they really mean half the time. i've been nothing but patient, understanding and have put forth no pressure on her at all. but it hasn't helped: she is pulling further away so wouldn't you agree that i should cut it off and heal? it kills me though because that's the last thing i want to do. i feel she just can't do it and i'll never be able to trust those feelings that it's magic again. how can it go to hell this fast? any comments are appreciated..... this is a repost because i didn't get enough responses....thanks
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