tomwiz Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 hey there Just for a little backstory, I dated this girl lets call her M for approximately 18 months. For the most part, we had a great relationship. She was deeply upset about my smoking and more than that, my lieing about my smoking. This was probably the main sticking point of our relationship. She had been going threw some rough times, mom lost job dad diagnosed with cancer and grandmother died for about the last 6 months of our relationship. I could feel the rift developing and we finally ended things in September of this past year. I did the pathetic we can work things out groveling for about a week and we clearly did not rekindle if you will. Well at the begining of december , Deciding to get myself out of this depressed funk, I went out with my friends and met a gal. Lets call her K. Contact with the ex M was limited to no existant, an occasional text from either one of us or IM. Anyway, things with K had been going well, it was clear to me that she was a great girl but probably not someone I could be with long term. Well the day before valentines day I get a text from M informing me that just so i didnt hear it from another source, she had been speaking with another guy. I informed her of the same thing. Approximately 4 days after that I get a call from M stating that she really missed me and really had some thinking to do and going out with another guy showed her that. She broke things off with this guy. Feeling conflicted and like I could not really devote anything to K, I broke things off with her. I'm now smoke-free and have been hanging out with M ( the ex) a couple of times a week. We are flirty but have yet to really cross that line, so last night while dropping her off I gave her a kiss...she allowed it however I got the impression that she felt it was a bit soon. So help! how do i play this? PS-not sure if it makes much sense but we went to undergrad together and are both now 23 year old grad students living at home about 50 minutes away.
Author tomwiz Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 wow, this many looks and no replies?
Author tomwiz Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 Hmmm....I guess if something isn't a depressing sob story of a scorned lover than no one responds. This is why i left this site to begin with and won't return. I firmly believe this site creates paranoia and a lack of hope...any good stories are quickly swept under the rug by a lack of responses.
curiousnycgirl Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Not sure if you are still looking, but sorry I hadn't seen the question orignally. I'm not sure what your question is. Sounds like you are playing it cool and seeing what happens. Probably the best approach you can take. I'd call it cautious optimism. But what about K?
Balthazar Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 I could feel the rift developing and we finally ended things in September of this past year. I did the pathetic we can work things out groveling for about a week and we clearly did not rekindle if you will. haha Not a good sign. She basically gave you walking orders. Shows that you had more invested in the relationship than she did. Well the day before valentines day I get a text from M informing me that just so i didnt hear it from another source, she had been speaking with another guy. I informed her of the same thing. Approximately 4 days after that I get a call from M stating that she really missed me and really had some thinking to do and going out with another guy showed her that. She broke things off with this guy. Feeling conflicted and like I could not really devote anything to K, I broke things off with her.Ok, so things probably were not working out with the other guy, so your ex calls before VD to elicit some sort of response to see where she stands. Your response was to break off with K and go back to her. My take on this is that she sent you packing when she wanted to and got you back ,again, when she wanted to. You can imagine the power this woman knows she exerts over you. She is now calling all the shots, deciding when you can kiss her or not. Not good. Overall, I don't see a balance to this relationship, and I am not sure how or if you should proceed. Your ex will probably stray when the right opportunity presents itself. Why not keep your options open and see other women?
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