Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 I met a guy late last year who I thought was a really nice, honest man. He quickly asked me out, but I'd been in a bad relationship a few months earlier, so I told him that I'd like to be friends first and then slowly we could move on to dating. After this, he turned into a huge jerk and started treating me badly until I finally broke off contact with him. I really liked him and did miss him. Right when I thought I was getting over him, he texts me and says that he misses what we had. Being foolish, I started talking to him again and of course, he goes right back to being a complete creep again- telling me that all of this was my fault because I hadn't wanted to date him in the first place, how'd I hurt him so badly, and how now, he'd changed his mind and was so "busy" that he didn't have any time for me. We stopped talking until we had a chance encounter about a week ago. He texted me again to say how much he missed me. We've been talking via email and he said that he'd like to get together, but is really "busy" and I'd have to be patient with him. Well, needless to say, over a week's gone by and he's still "busy." He texts me about once a day to say hi, but that's it. I feel like his behavior is unacceptable and that in a week, he should be able to find at least 30 mins to see me. Am I being completely unfair? What should I do?
Walking away Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Walk away. He is trouble. If he were "into" you, he would never be too busy to call or see you.
Author Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 I keep telling myself that's what I need to do, but everytime I convince myself that's he's not worth my time, he contacts me again out of the blue. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt and it seems that he's nice to me just once and I'll just forgot about his bad behavior and talk to him again.
Walking away Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Read the Prince Charming thread. Don't fall into the trap that we fell into. Please...
sedona Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Yup, stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. Forget about him and move on. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
Author Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 Should I tell him off or just stop all contact completely? Part of me wants to tell him what a jerk he is and try to make all of this stop, but I'm sure that would bounce right off of him and I don't want to sink to his level.
Walking away Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Depends on his temperament. I have done both with men that have disrespected me. I have cut them off without a word and others I have let know why I am leaving. If he is being incredibly disrespectful, you don't owe him an explanation, IMHO. He will figure it out on his own, I should think.
Author Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 I feel like such an idiot being so caught up in this. I've always been so level headed and now I'm completely thrown off. My roommates can't believe that I fell for this and I'm so embarrased that I'm letting him have this control over me. Last night, in a stupid moment, I told him that I still missed him and he just sent me his "text of the day" wondering if it's because my roommates have gone for the weekend. I so want to answer back, because I keep hoping that he'll ask me somewhere, but I'll keep trying to walk away.
Walking away Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Just ignore him. If he is interested, he will put more effort into you than a "text of the day..." Men can be such creeps...
Author Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 So...I definitely wrote him and told him that I'm tired of his little games and that I will not be playing them anymore. He needs to decide what he wants. I'm sure he'll have some avoidance response or perhaps....SILENCE!!
Author Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 ....he told me I was a lapse in his normally better judgement. OUCH.
Walking away Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Awww... Brush the ass off. He is pond scum. Give him NOT ONE MORE THOUGHT. His true colors were revealed. And they showed a BLACK heart. You dodged a bullet, honey...
Shindig Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I agree. He's bad news. Sounds like he likes the attention from a pretty girl but isn't interested in anything more than mseeing you around. He's clearly inconsiderate at best.
Author Meg4131 Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Thanks everybody! I'm feeling so much better now that I called him out and he acted like a jerk....just what was expected of him! Hopefully, he just lets this go and doesn't contact me again. Now, I just have to maintain no contact with him as well...
sedgwick Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Wow, you did the right thing! This guy doesn't have issues, he has subscriptions.
sassy N sassy Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 I met a guy late last year who I thought was a really nice, honest man. He quickly asked me out, but I'd been in a bad relationship a few months earlier, so I told him that I'd like to be friends first and then slowly we could move on to dating. After this, he turned into a huge jerk and started treating me badly until I finally broke off contact with him. I really liked him and did miss him. Right when I thought I was getting over him, he texts me and says that he misses what we had. Being foolish, I started talking to him again and of course, he goes right back to being a complete creep again- telling me that all of this was my fault because I hadn't wanted to date him in the first place, how'd I hurt him so badly, and how now, he'd changed his mind and was so "busy" that he didn't have any time for me. We stopped talking until we had a chance encounter about a week ago. He texted me again to say how much he missed me. We've been talking via email and he said that he'd like to get together, but is really "busy" and I'd have to be patient with him. Well, needless to say, over a week's gone by and he's still "busy." He texts me about once a day to say hi, but that's it. I feel like his behavior is unacceptable and that in a week, he should be able to find at least 30 mins to see me. Am I being completely unfair? What should I do? I had someone do me the same way he is doing you. dont trust him, if he wanted to see you he would be there. i would break off contact with him. i had someone to tell me he was alls way busy it was excuses right after another one. So i told him how i felt with us he ended it because i would not take his bull****. i feel like if he wanted to see me he would had been around its been 5 months months now. no contact but thats ok i am free of him. i have moved on.
D-Lish Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Yeah... no contact...what a jerk. His ego was upset in the beginning, but it goes deeper than that. He feels the need to punish you for wanting to take things slow and not embracing him when he wanted you to. That is not the kind of guy you want to have a relationship with- if he manifests that sort of behaviour now.... what do you think he would be like in a relationship? He'd be worse.... believe me. You're best to let him go. You've seen a glimpse of a nice part of him that is probably not integral to his core personality.
sedona Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 ....he told me I was a lapse in his normally better judgement. OUCH. What a horrible thing to say! Jerk. Really convenient in a way though. Now you should have no doubt about dropping him.
Author Meg4131 Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 After I called him on his behavior and he made the "lapse in judgment" comment, I haven't heard a peep from him. Given, it's only been about a day, but I think he's sulking that he got called out. I'm really hoping that I just never hear from him again....do most men usually take this route when they've been caught in bad behavior?
LuCidiTy Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Wow, you did the right thing! This guy doesn't have issues, he has subscriptions. you're hilarious!
Far Behind Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Are all these guys related somehow? I just never knew, until this happened to me, that there were people that could be this cruel. I mean I knew it, but had never personally experienced it. I, too, have given the benefit of the doubt, and twice after the first initial hurt. It just sucks so bad to hurt this bad and know that someone did this to you and not understand why. I want to call mine out, send an email, knock on his door...kick his ass so to speak, but that just gives him the power right back. All he's getting this time around from me is silence. I don't know if I"ll hear from him or not; chances are eventually he will, but I will NEVER initiate contact with him again, and that is soooooooo hard.
Far Behind Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 they're broken, and it isn't up to us to fix them. That is maybe the hardest lesson of all because I think deep down that's what we want, is to think that somehow we can fix them.
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