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Posted

So...we had plans for last night, he called at 6 and said still tied up for at least another hour or so. Me: are we still on for tonight? Him: yes definitely. Never heard from him again. I'm not even that surprised, I'm pissed off for sure, and I know this time that I can never contact him again, even to tell him to "f" off or anything. I'm done.

Posted

That's the best thing to do: distance yourself emotionally. And do it fast.

 

This man is a nightmare. (And I know, because I have walked in your shoes.)

 

Do to him what he does best.....disappear.

 

I am so sorry for your pain.

 

He is a jerk.

  • Author
Posted

I just feel numb. And dumb, actually.

Posted (edited)

Let me share with you a little analogy that may help you....

 

There was a frog sitting on the side of a lake.

 

A scorpion walked up to the frog and asked him, "Would you please give me a ride to the other side of the lake?"

 

The frog replied back, "Of course not. You are a scorpion and I know what you will do. You will let me give you a ride and when you get to the other side of the lake, you will sting me and I will die."

 

The scorpion replied back, "No I won't. If you would just give me a ride, I would be most appreciative."

 

So, the frog let the scorpion get on his back and he took him to the other side of the lake.

 

Just as the frog was getting out of the lake, the scorpion stung the frog.

 

The frog looked up at the scorpion as he was dying and asked, "Why did you do that...?"

 

The scorpion replied, "Because that is what I do."

 

You have met a scorpion. Recognize him. What he does is all that he knows.

 

Stay away from him.

 

And thank your lucky stars that he didn't kill you.

 

WA

Edited by Walking away
Posted

FB ....... Walking away has just given you excellent advice and you should listen to it

 

I am going to be a bit tough now, but I just had a peep at your history with this guy and he is a major flake! He is not in a place to have a relationship with ANYONE so you should not take this personal.

 

Stop making the same mistake time after time and cut yourself off from this chump. You deserv (and will get) so much more then this lame excuse for a man can give you.

 

You need this man like a fish needs a bycicle or a motorbike needs an ashtray!;)

Posted
So...we had plans for last night, he called at 6 and said still tied up for at least another hour or so. Me: are we still on for tonight? Him: yes definitely. Never heard from him again. I'm not even that surprised, I'm pissed off for sure, and I know this time that I can never contact him again, even to tell him to "f" off or anything. I'm done.

 

Never heard from him? Again? Unbelievable. I hope that you really are done with him.

Posted

She wont be done with him! He will be done with her and she will continue to pine until she gets help for her issues.

 

To get this attached in such a short time and to allow him to disrespect her time after time in such a short space of time shows that her self respect is low.

 

He sounds extremely unattractive to me!

Posted

Yeah, we do it to ourselves. My ex has his issues which I couldn't predict. But I fell for him and allowed myself to be so vunerable.

Posted

But, from this moment on, you can self protect.

 

Don't let him hurt you again. Distance emotionally.

 

These men aren't worth this much pain.

 

No one is.

Posted
But, from this moment on, you can self protect.

 

Don't let him hurt you again. Distance emotionally.

 

These men aren't worth this much pain.

 

No one is.

You're right. I know. I know. I know. But my emotions don't know yet.

I'm working on it though.

Posted

damn. if i were you i'd never contact him again and when he contacts you pretend you didn't even notice he did it again or that it's been days. you're better than this. and he doesn't deserve you.

Posted

Ah....the head versus the heart.

 

Such a battle. I know it well.

 

Make a pact with yourself that you will not let this man take you down. Fight the depression and fight the self loathing.

 

You could not have changed the outcome. You just trusted. And that, with the right man, is a good thing.

 

You just met a toad (or a scorpion)!

 

Let him go in your heart. It is hard, but something you can do.

Posted (edited)

the funny thing is that it's hard until it's not, because everyone hits that point where he does just that one more thing that finally snaps it in your head. usually it's something silly or trivial too (example: mine called himself a pussy the other day. and instead of saying to him for the thousandth time, "you're not," i said to myself, "yeah you are," and just didn't respond to him. nothing but nothing's been the same since.) i suppose it's just getting to that point that's hard...where you stop being nice and stop making excuses for him.

Edited by LuCidiTy
Posted

Yep...

 

My defining moment was when he told me he was going to call me the next day....and didn't. And in the same day, I put up my new business website for his viewing pleasure and to share in my professional victory....and he has been mouse quiet since....

 

Ahhhh....yeah.

 

Done.

Posted

good for you!

 

and you know what else? it doesn't even matter if they notice because all of a sudden you feel good, really good about yourself and realize you don't NEED them or their validation or their nonsense anymore...as nice a guy as they might be or as much as you might love them, you realize it's toxic for YOU.

Posted (edited)

You hit the nail on the head, sister!

 

We DON'T need them. They just clutter up what is a wonderful existance in this world. Who needs toxins in their lives...? Surely not us!

 

Life is just too short to be miserable.

 

And I believe the key to healing with these men is to love OURSELVES. Surely if we do that, we will never settle for less than what we know we deserve.

 

And that should make it easier to walk away.

 

:)

Edited by Walking away
  • Author
Posted
She wont be done with him! He will be done with her and she will continue to pine until she gets help for her issues.

 

To get this attached in such a short time and to allow him to disrespect her time after time in such a short space of time shows that her self respect is low.

 

He sounds extremely unattractive to me!

 

You are right about one thing, and that is that I have shown extreme disrespect to myself, but I don't intend to continue that trend. I will not call or email him. Period.

  • Author
Posted
Just as the frog was getting out of the lake, the scorpion stung the frog.

 

The frog looked up at the scorpion as he was dying and asked, "Why did you do that...?"

 

The scorpion replied, "Because that is what I do."

 

You have met a scorpion. Recognize him. What he does is all that he knows.

 

Stay away from him.

 

And thank your lucky stars that he didn't kill you. WA

 

You are soooo right...I was stung by a scorpion. But even scorpion stings heal. And I will too!

Posted

That's the spirit!

 

I got stung by one, too.

 

:(

Posted

Yep he's a major jerk, dump him and run, or better still replace him

  • Author
Posted

I just know that whenever he finally gets back on the computer, he will (having been previously conditioned by me) expect to find a long, heart-felt email within the next few days. And when it isn't there, it will make him nuts and he will contact me again. At which point, I plan to tell him do not contact me anymore. My daughter just asked if I was happy, and my reply was no, I am at peace. And I am. I know it's hard for you guys, some of you anyway, to understand, not having looked in his eyes or heard and read his words (though you have all heard and read your own version of the same), but I do not believe that he intentionally set out to destroy me or hurt me. It just turned out that way due to his own cowardice. And he is just one huge d'less coward.

Posted (edited)

Far, you are so right!

 

I am so glad to see you write those words. Now print that out and read it to yourself when you feel weak and missing him.

 

He is a dope! A fully pledged arsewipe and you do not need him or his bull**** in your life, He is feeding on your insecurity and your feelings for him - He is sucking you dry and you must stop him! You are the only one who can help yourself. You need to set a good example to your kids hon

 

You can do it!

 

Hey babe have you considered changing your mail addy?

Edited by Lishy
sp
  • Author
Posted

I'm not ready to do that just yet, and I don't think he will be nuisance. He will attempt contact, and give up when I don't respond (I think...that hasn't been the case in the past). Right now I'm just enjoying not feeling that shell shocky way I felt in the past. Also, there is a sense of relief because all week I was waiting for this to happen; I just knew instinctively it would I think, and that was why I kept feeling like I was walking on egg shells. Now that I don't have to worry, I can breathe easier, if that makes sense.

Posted

When you can notice a pattern in a guys behaviour, you can be sure it will never change. When you can "predict" what will happen if you do this or that (ignore him or contact him) then you have a guy who really is only in contact with you for their own ego. I have been involved with a couple of guys like this, and because i was naive, and thought it was something i was doing wrong, the pattern in one case went on for years. Its a waste of time,

  • Author
Posted

I feel very calm right now; I know I will be fine because I AM fine. I know, too, that he will be back to attempt another round. Too bad so sad for him. I can NEVER do this to myself again; it's just physically and emotionally too draining.

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