superfox Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Hi Everyone, I met a new guy about a week and a half ago. He works out in the same building I work in and is friends with the receptionist, that is how I met him. Anyways we started talking on the phone and he wanted to go out on a date. I wanted to take things slow so I said I was busy, and then he had a trip planned for a few days so was away. While on his trip he kept in contact everyday. He text messaged me regularly and called me. He seemed to be moving really fast with his feelings even through the messages he sent. Anyways when he got back we met and went out for lunch. When I seen him he had a big gift bag with loads of gifts for me including a coach wallet that he got on his trip. I was really feeling ackward because I don't know him that much and its not like I have gone out with him on a number of dates. That evening he sent me a message saying he wanted to be with me but wasn't sure how I would take it and that there was something he needed to tell me and that I should call him. I called and he told me that something was bothering him inside. He told me previously he was coming out of a ten year relationship that ended a month ago. This relationship ended according to him because the girl fell out of love with him. What he told me in the phone call was that he had actually been married to her for 5 years and the marriage had just ended recently. I told him I did not feel comfortable either way moving this fast. He said I probably would judge him because of his previous marriage. I am 25 he is 28, but even if he never had been married I still wouldn't want to be with him so soon without getting to know him. I clearly told him that it isn't fair to anyone to move so quickly and I don't feel comfortable jumping into a relationship without knowing someone. He said he understood but that he really was ready to move forward. I don't want to lead this guy on or make him think that I will be his girlfriend down the road. And obviously I don't want to be a rebound. I don't know if I should be freaked out by how fast he is moving, or if I should even accept gifts. Sometimes he says things about taking me on trips but I just think I barely know you how can you think that. Do you think its fair for me to continue, I don't want to lead him on!
SeraBella Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Red flags everywhere here. I'd try to get out. If your uncomfortable so early on...you should go with your gut.
Author superfox Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 Yes seems there are many red flags. I discussed that I was not interested in dating, but that we could be friends I am not sure if that was a wise decision on my end.
Author superfox Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 Yes you guys are totally right. I just found out today the receptionist that introduced us is his EX WIFE! He never told me that and neither did she. She kept telling me to call him and asked why I wouldn't. I am really angry and thinking that it is messed up that she would do that to a person that works for the same agency as herself. Its so messed up. I was going through a phone list at work and realized her last name is the same as his. So I called him up and asked what was up with that and he admitted that was his ex wife....and he was in to see her about some paper work and to drop some things off for her the day he seen me. I told him it was all childish and that he lacked maturity. He acted like it was not a big deal for him to not tell me that was his ex wife. Anyways I told him this all seems wrong, and there is no good in it.
SeraBella Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Yes you guys are totally right. I just found out today the receptionist that introduced us is his EX WIFE! He never told me that and neither did she. She kept telling me to call him and asked why I wouldn't. I am really angry and thinking that it is messed up that she would do that to a person that works for the same agency as herself. Its so messed up. I was going through a phone list at work and realized her last name is the same as his. So I called him up and asked what was up with that and he admitted that was his ex wife....and he was in to see her about some paper work and to drop some things off for her the day he seen me. I told him it was all childish and that he lacked maturity. He acted like it was not a big deal for him to not tell me that was his ex wife. Anyways I told him this all seems wrong, and there is no good in it. OMG...ridiculous! Good call on this one!!! That is just UGH. Especially odd and creepy that she was trying to get you to call him.
Author superfox Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Yes far too creepy! I told him that his behavior was ridiculous and also the fact that she pretty much pressured me to call him and wouldn't stop calling my work phone was extremely unprofessional. He told me that he hoped I wouldn't say anything to co workers or management. I just really was baffled by it all. When I told him how I felt he said that he feels maybe he is just too bad of a guy for me and too troubled. I told him that the dishonesty, and how he was just pursuing me so quickly in an unhealthy way is something I cannot be around.
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