Sheekie Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I know, another porn thread...ho hum... My boyfriend is in his late 20s and looks at porn on the internet a few times a week. Our sex life is good; we have sex multiple times a week. I've talked to him about porn and specifically asked him if this is something he's done since he meant me. He said he's been looking at it ever since he was a teenager. I'm his first girlfriend ever and he was a virgin, too. He said it's just something he likes to look at when he's bored. I told him that I won't mind as long as he still spends time with me and it doesn't interfere with our sex life. He said that it will never replace me. I guess I'm just paranoid for a couple of reasons: 1) I've known a couple of people who were with someone that was addicted to porn so I know that this is not uncommon. 2) He used to be addicted to a drug back in his teen years (he's been sober since) but I'm worried that he might have an addicted personality. 3) Most of the time, it takes him a while to ejaculate, I THINK. I could be wrong because he's the only guy I've ever had sex with so I don't know how long typical guys last. Sometimes we'll have intercourse for 45 min. I've also never been able to get him to ejaculate by giving him head. Thanks for any advice!
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 1. My boyfriend is in his late 20s and looks at porn on the internet a few times a week. Our sex life is good; we have sex multiple times a week. 2. I told him that I won't mind as long as he still spends time with me and it doesn't interfere with our sex life. He said that it will never replace me. 3. I've known a couple of people who were with someone that was addicted to porn so I know that this is not uncommon. 4. He used to be addicted to a drug back in his teen years (he's been sober since) but I'm worried that he might have an addicted personality. 5. Most of the time, it takes him a while to ejaculate, I THINK. I could be wrong because he's the only guy I've ever had sex with so I don't know how long typical guys last. Sometimes we'll have intercourse for 45 min. I've also never been able to get him to ejaculate by giving him head. 1. Sounds like you are trying to create a problem where there isn't one. He doesn't overuse it, the quality of your sex is not affected by it, nor is the frequency. 2. He spends time with you, it doesn't interfere with your sex life, and he said himself that it would never replace you. I'm not sure why you think he has a porn addiction. If he did, he wouldn't spend time with you, it would interfere with your sex life and he would let it replace you. 3. Porn addiction is common. Porn addiction interferes with and often stops a couple's sex life, their emotional life, the addicts work life, it saps their bank account, they lie about it, they will replace things in their life with porn, they can't control it, they lose hours of their life every day to it, etc. I'm not certain why you think your boyfriend falls into this category. 4. In a case like this, his porn doesn't sound like an addiction. It sounds like every other guy who uses it as a simple masturbation tool. Masturbation (and using porn as just a tool) sounds like is has always been a part of his normal and healthy sex life - drugs are a whole different story. 5. Some guys take longer than others. Perhaps he is taking his time to make sure you are getting pleasure too. As for the head thing, a lot of men just can't ejaculate from a blow job.
SidCaesar Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Yup, total problem where there isn't one. Porn can never be a substitute for real sex or a relationship...it's a ****ty stop-loss for bored people or a quick way to get off. Men know it's just a video and is no substitute for their girl or whatever...stop worrying. A few times a week is no big deal either...if someone had a drink a few times a week, would you call them an alcoholic? Probably not...
mortensorchid Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Guys look at porn all the time, because they're guys and that's what they do. Don't worry about it, you're the real thing and the porn they look at is just the fantasy he can have on his own time.
benevolent one Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 guys who spank it too much have a hard time finishing when its not their own hand. they get use to the kung fu grip. he doesnt sound like he has a problem tho. when i was a teen i could go for atleast an hour, now im almost 30 and i still have no problem going for 45 mins to an hour. if im drunk you better grab a snickers cause your not going anywhere for a while lol. maybe you need more foreplay.
MalachiX Posted March 24, 2008 Posted March 24, 2008 I agree with the others. I think you're making too big a deal of it. As long as it doesn't interfere with your own sex life and the time he spends with you (and he's not watching porn while you're there); I don't think it's a big deal. Guys are gonna look at porn. It's just a fact of life. We do it when our girlfriends aren't around (even if they aren't there for an afternoon) and we do it because evolution tells us to have sex with as many different woman as possible. Most would rather be in a happy reltaionship with a single woman so porn is the way that some guys get through the impulses without cheating. If it's any conselation; we never enjoy it as much as the real thing. I know, another porn thread...ho hum... 3) Most of the time, it takes him a while to ejaculate, I THINK. I could be wrong because he's the only guy I've ever had sex with so I don't know how long typical guys last. Sometimes we'll have intercourse for 45 min. I've also never been able to get him to ejaculate by giving him head. Thanks for any advice! A lot of men suffer from pre-mature ejaculation. We hear about that a lot. What you don't hear is that a lot of guys take a very long time to climax, especially if there is a condom involved. Also, there are TONS of guys who can't come simply with oral sex. Believe me when I tell you this is just as frustrating for him as it is for you. You also have to remember that YOU'RE BOTH JUST STARTING TO HAVE SEX! Not to be rude but neither of you is probably very good at it. It's nothing personal, just in-experience. It used to take me over 50 minutes with the first girl I slept with. I was a smoker at the time and I actually would get so exhausted and short of breath that I'd almost pass out (trust me, not in a good way). No one is very succesful at sex when they first start out. If you're both managing to climax and you enjoy the act then consider yourself very lucky.
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