Dawg88 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I would appreciate your thoughts. I am 34 and my ex GF is 28. My ex GF broke up with me about 9 months ago. We were together for about 2 years. She immediately started dating another guy who I believe moved in with her. For the first two or three months after our breakup, I sporadically sent her a text or email, but she never responded. She just blocked me out of her life. I haven't tried contacting her since sometime in November, and I have no idea where she is with her new relationship. This week, out of the blue, I sent her another email. I know, I know, I'm supposed to maintain strict NC, but I miss her dearly, and wanted to see if I would get any reaction. In my short mesasage, I alluded to the probability that's she's already married or engaged. I didn't expect a response back, but she wrote back that I am silly and that she's been very busy. I wrote a quick note back, and she responded - something like I have something to tell you - I've got a new job. I wrote a third message back, but she hasn't responded, and now it's been about 4 days. I suppose here's where I need your help. Why would she respond in the first place? Do you think she may not be with this guy, or their relationship may not be strong? Or is she testing me? I know she is the type of person who would ignore me if she was serious with someone else. Is she testing me? Did she give me an opening? Where should I go from here? It's so easy when you're listening to someone else's problems, but when it's you, everything seems so confusing. I just think if I follow the "she'll contact you when she's ready" philosophy, I don't know if that will get us back together.
Jasmine8719 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 In all honesty it's really hard to tell...I mean she could just be responding back to you to be nice...I don't know; its hard to tell...wait until she writes back...If your wondering if she's still interested...ehh I can't tell that either lol..I mean it's a good sign that she wrote you back...sorry I can't be more of help -Jasmine
Author Dawg88 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I know. That's why I'm confused. Is it typical for women to wait 3-4-5 days, maybe even a week to reply back? As a guy, if I was interested again in a woman, I think I would respond right away to try to keep a conversation going.
Jasmine8719 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 yeah..I would respond right away too...maybe shes trying to throw a hint that she just want to be friends...when she writes back post this again..
Author Dawg88 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 Well, after a week of not hearing back, I wrote her a quick note asking if I could call. She responded back, no. I'm not heartbroken, nor have I suffered any setback. I just wanted to try again, and instead of waiting, or hoping, that she would call me, I tried to initiate things. Evidently, she either is happily involved, or doesn't want any part of me. But, knowing her, I still can't understand why she would respond to me twice a week ago. That's so unlike her. I don't think she was trying to be nice. Maybe she was having second thoughts, then decided not to lead me on. I don't know. I'd still be interested to hear perspectives on why she would even respond to me in the first place.
0hpenelope Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 (edited) When I responded to exes, I was just being nice. That was me in high school. Then I grew and changed and I realized that I'm not good at faking how I feel. Now, when exes get in contact with me, I ignore them for the most part or I respond, depending on how I feel like it. My responses are usually what I call "troll talk" (one-syllable responses that are usually conversation killers like "Yeah," "Mmm," "Mmhmm," and my favorite, "Okay.") because I just keep it light and impersonal and when he does get personal, I tell him to bug off. For me, it comes down to "I wanted out / You wanted out for a reason, so... get going." Some of us girls are still the "being nice" types. I'm not going to say that that's definitely your ex-gf since I don't know her, but it's an alternative perspective. Perhaps, other users will be able to shed light on that, too. Maybe she felt that enough time passed that she could contact you and you won't be as affected. And I'm glad that you're respecting her response to you. But there was an effect on you, to some extent, so keep moving along. It's a good thing that her contact with you didn't serve as a setback on your progress. Good luck, brother. Edited March 25, 2008 by 0hpenelope added stuff
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