Cool Chick Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I could really use some words of support right now. I had been doing NC for about 8 weeks when my ex contacted me. I had been doing relatively well too. That was until last week. He contacted me to say he was moving. For those of you not familiar with my story, he is my next door neighbour. It’s been h*ll for me as he dumped me for one of his previous ex's and it's been sooooo hard seeing him everyday. I guess I went no contact so I could try to get over him, but I haven’t. Unfortunately I still love him deeply and having him move has crushed my heart totally. He was the first man I think I truly loved. I can’t stop crying....I didn’t think one person could shed so many tears over a man who hurt me. I've never met someone I had so much in common with. I can't stop thinking why….why has this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this!? I just want the pain to stop!! Please please...I just want it to stop! CC
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you're hurting. It sucks - BIG time! This is what usually works for me - I cry till I can't cry anymore, usually for a few days and then I end up feeling better. More energised and I focus myself on making things better FOR me. I know it may not help you or other people but maybe you can concentrate on something else - not so much about him.
sandflea Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Hey CC - hang in there! We're all pulling for you. In a way, the fact that he's moving will bring some closure for you - and that will make things much MUCH better. I know it seems darkest now - but things will start to get better soon. SF
EllaDerSpin Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Go with it, ride it, sink with it, and you'll naturally surface again.
Shindig Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Hopefully you won't have to see him ever again. Boys are rarely worth the tears.
Author Cool Chick Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I don't know, I just don't know. Why are people so stupid to fall for partners that end up hurting them. Why did I have to find a connection with a cheater and lier? I don't find a connection with people very often, and then I usually fall hard for them. Now I've fallen again but in a different way. It just seems so dark and no matter what way I look there's no light. I can only hope that this guy will wake up one day and realize what he threw away was not trash, but a treasure and by then I will have a real man in my life and he can't get me back. CC
Shindig Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Meeting and falling for jerks happens. I think you have the right atitude. But don't move on in spite of him... move on FOR YOU. He's not worth the thought.
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I can only hope that this guy will wake up one day and realize what he threw away was not trash, but a treasure and by then I will have a real man in my life and he can't get me back. CC That can very easily happen. Wouldn't it something - he'll be way too late!
EllaDerSpin Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Meeting and falling for jerks happens. I think you have the right atitude. But don't move on in spite of him... move on FOR YOU. He's not worth the thought. Yes, it happens. Brush yourself down and start again.
Author Cool Chick Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 That can very easily happen. Wouldn't it something - he'll be way too late! It would be something. I hate feeling vengeful and spiteful but it would be nice if he realized he made a mistake. I don't know if men like this ever wake up and realize they treat people badly....do they? Do liers and cheaters ever regret how they behave? It's almost like they convince themselves that what they do is right and don't see how wrong they are. They want truthful, monogamous partners, but they are not truthful or monogamous themselves, and they think it's ok! I just don't get it!?? One of my major problems is I forgive way too much. I give too many second chances....it seems like the right thing to do but I always end up being taken for granted. Do I have to start being a bitch to get any respect? I'm just so sad....and feel so empty.
EllaDerSpin Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 One of my major problems is I forgive way too much. I give too many second chances....it seems like the right thing to do but I always end up being taken for granted. Do I have to start being a bitch to get any respect? I'm just so sad....and feel so empty. You don't have to be a bitch to get respect, but, you do have to learn to recognise when someone is not going to treat you with it and walk away.
Lizzie60 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 It sucks.. but on the other hand, him moving will help you get over him faster. Time will heal your pain... just remember (write down and put the list on the fridge) all the things he's done to hurt you... do not 'daydream' about the 'nice times'.. it will only make it harder. When you catch yourself thinking about him.. change your mind.. do something else, do stuff that needs concentration, so you'll have less time to think about him. Pamper yourself.. I know it's easier said than done.. but there is no miracle 'pill' for heartbreaks. Good luck!
LuCidiTy Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 i'm so sorry you're hurting. it feels like the world will never be the same again, doesn't it? but you'll get past this, find the strength. take care of you, and try to stop spending precious energy on someone who walked away. the reasons don't matter. he doesn't matter. nothing matters right now but you.
Meaplus3 Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 I could really use some words of support right now. I had been doing NC for about 8 weeks when my ex contacted me. I had been doing relatively well too. That was until last week. He contacted me to say he was moving. For those of you not familiar with my story, he is my next door neighbour. It’s been h*ll for me as he dumped me for one of his previous ex's and it's been sooooo hard seeing him everyday. I guess I went no contact so I could try to get over him, but I haven’t. Unfortunately I still love him deeply and having him move has crushed my heart totally. He was the first man I think I truly loved. I can’t stop crying....I didn’t think one person could shed so many tears over a man who hurt me. I've never met someone I had so much in common with. I can't stop thinking why….why has this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this!? I just want the pain to stop!! Please please...I just want it to stop! CC Gosh..I really feel for you. The more you ask yourself questions as to why.. the more you will make yourself feel down. Healing.. takes time. and with time I'm sure you will see a positive difference. Please stay strong. Best wishes. AP:)
Author Cool Chick Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 Thanks everyone. You words have meant the world to me. I'm trying really hard right now to straighten out my head, but it's going to take a while. I just spent over two hours on the phone with a close girl friend trying to talk myself out. She has incredible insight into people and it felt good to try to work a few things out. I know there are bumpy road ahead and more than likely loads of tears to come. It's funny the way it happens. It's like the emotions are pressure behind a dam and when the dam breaks the tears flow freely and the sobs almost make me choke. When it finally ends there's a little relief. Unfortunately the pressure starts building again, but I'm hoping with time it won't be so great. I truly wish I understood what made men like this tick? I could not even fathom betraying someone who put trust in me, yet certain people do it as if second nature. I wonder if they realize what a great gift trust is? Cool Chick
EllaDerSpin Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Don't forget that people are on their own paths. Something in him is making him act this way, and it is absolutely nothing to do with you. He may not even recognise a good thing because of his own personal issues.
LuCidiTy Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Don't forget that people are on their own paths. Something in him is making him act this way, and it is absolutely nothing to do with you. He may not even recognise a good thing because of his own personal issues. so very, very true.
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