sassy N sassy Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 He ended it i didnt , here is my short version of my story, back in octorber 07, my daughter move back home from Tenessee for a while untill she gets back on her feet , I told my lover she move back home for a while. Ok things are comlicated for him at home also he said the only way he could see me for her too move out that he could get off work early and stop by. ok i said bull**** are you telling me you cant see me as long she is here at the house after all i told him i could meet him out. then after he ws making excuses right after another. finally i told him i wasnt going to sit around and wait on him. thats went he ended it. i miss him i love him but i never want to go threw this again. he is so cold hearted with me and the girfriend he has at home doesnt no about us. she never did. i have pictures iam keeping just in case something comes up that he trys to lie i have the prove. But you no iam glad it is over now but i have bad days and good days but i still miss him after all i was with him for 12 years. anybody like to comment please do i need one.
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 he is so cold hearted with me and the girfriend he has at home doesnt no about us. she never did. i have pictures iam keeping just in case something comes up that he trys to lie i have the prove. He isn't THAT cold hearted towards you seeing as you've been with him for 12 years. You only want to tell her to make HIM suffer. Best revenge is to move on and not look back. Your own personal happiness WITHOUT him in your life IS your revenge. This guy is a cheater and an ONGOING cheater for 12 years. Even if he broke up with his girlfriend, would you want this guy? Look at this as a blessing. You're free.
Author sassy N sassy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 YES i Want him to suffer. He nos iam hurt and he does:mad:nt care. So why not he deserves it!!
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Hello! You KNOWINGLY have been with a man who has a girlfriend for 12 years. Don't put this ALL on him. He hasn't held a gun to your head asking you to help him cheat on his girlfriend, you've made that choice on your own. If you choose to enter in an affair, you have to accept YOUR own role in it and deal with the conquences of it when it ends. You make it sound like it's ALL his fault and you're completely innocent here. Sorry to sound harsh, I know you're pissed off and hurting. Just don't DO anything that you're going to regret one day. IN a week, or even in afew days you might feel differently and see the positive of not having him in your life. NO more lying, sneaking around and hiding a man from your family and friends.
Author sassy N sassy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 i cant seen to bring myself too let go i am hurting i want him to hurt. You no it feels good now not to sneak around and lie and hide I feel so free. but hurt too. I feel like he should had came to me like a man and told me up in a right way it was over not the way he did it. Someone told me it will take 2 years to get over him but not too have no contact with him. I will never have another affair i come to learn its not worth the pain. thank you my friend for your advise you are right i will get threw this it will take time. You no iam not going to let him no iam hurting iam going to hold my head up high and move on fine someone is single.
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 That is why I am telling you, the best revenge is to find happiness again WITHOUT HIM. Just think it will bug the crap out of him if you ignore him, go completely silent on him. The A is over, so what is the point of hanging on? One day when you're ready and the timing is right, a man will walk into your life, someone you can be proud of, introduce to your daughter, your family, friends, co-workers, neighbours and you won't have to hide and lie about him. Just keep busy, have fun with your daughter and grieve when it hits you. Try to do NC (no contact) with him. Atleast do 2 days and see how you feel then. If you can do 2 days, you can do 2 more..And so on..
Author sassy N sassy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 Its been 2 weeks i had no contact with him i have not even e mail him. Iam proud of myself. when i fine my self wanting too i get off the computer. You no talking to you has help me. thanks again.
JustBreathe Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Be glad it's over as an affair with a man who is committed to another woman is a waste of time. You wind up with nothing but a broken heart every time. Leave this man alone until when and if he is ready to give up his other relationship and devote himself to you full time, which quite frankly probably will never happen. Could you even trust him to be faithful if he did do that? What happens if the shoe goes on the other foot and it is you that's home while he's sleeping with someone else? Maybe people will disagree but you should tell his wife. She ought to know what she married. But if you decide to do it, do it with your heart in the right place, not for revenge.
twice_shy Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 YES i Want him to suffer. He nos iam hurt and he does:mad:nt care. So why not he deserves it!! And the suffering of his W? I see no mention of that. Why should anyone care about your suffering when you are the one that is helping to cause damage to the wife? Whether she knows it or not, you want her to know. So here is what you do. You go ahead and tell the wife IN PERSON. Tell her only a few feet from her, "I slept with your husband". Then put your hands behind your back and take what you have coming to you.
jmargel Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 No need to be mean to her. She has felt enough pain and has learned a valuable lesson. She came on here to seek help on how to deal with this, not to get blasted by other posters. Sassy, I would recommend seeing a counselor, and looking up the 5 stages of grief. It's something you are going through. You should also set short term goals for yourself and to accomplish them. He led you on, but you also led yourself on. You have to find out why you allowed yourself to be put into this position for so long. Perhaps you were afraid of commitment, knowing that with him you always had an out? He has serious maturity problems, and I can guarantee at some point he will try contacting you. Do whatever it takes to stay away from him, even if you have to get an order from the court to do this. Seek out friends and family to help you move on from this guy.
JustBreathe Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Hey Sassy, I rec'd a junk email today that actually had some useful information on how to survive a broken heart. I thought I might share. Get rid of everything and anything that reminds you of him. Keepsakes, photos, etc. Delete his cell phone number from your phone. Change your email address. Focus on the negative. It surely was not all roses and light as it was an affair and was probably complicated, lonely and hurtful at times. Focus on those things. Focus on what you don't like about him personally. He's a selfish man or he wouldn't be stringing two women along. There are bound to be other things about him that you don't admire. Stop endowing him with characteristics and traits he doesn't have and see him for what he truly is. A user. He may come back and try to reel you in again. You may or may not cave in. But whatever you do, remember, this man is committed to someone else and you will never be his no. 1 until she is gone, and he will never make the choice between you two so long as you let him bounce back and forth. The only one losing here is you.
Author sassy N sassy Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 No need to be mean to her. She has felt enough pain and has learned a valuable lesson. She came on here to seek help on how to deal with this, not to get blasted by other posters. Sassy, I would recommend seeing a counselor, and looking up the 5 stages of grief. It's something you are going through. You should also set short term goals for yourself and to accomplish them. He led you on, but you also led yourself on. You have to find out why you allowed yourself to be put into this position for so long. Perhaps you were afraid of commitment, knowing that with him you always had an out? He has serious maturity problems, and I can guarantee at some point he will try contacting you. Do whatever it takes to stay away from him, even if you have to get an order from the court to do this. Seek out friends and family to help you move on from this guy. WEll i cant afford counselor so i got too deal with it,Him and i had the 12 year affair so i got too take the conquences, even though it hurts like hell, No iam not going to tell the wife, i decide why put her threw all of this pain if she finds out it wont be my me..iam not that cruel. Every day i want too get in touch with him but i am hanging in tyring to be strong . But I love HIm. thanks for your advise!
Author sassy N sassy Posted March 29, 2008 Author Posted March 29, 2008 And the suffering of his W? I see no mention of that. Why should anyone care about your suffering when you are the one that is helping to cause damage to the wife? Whether she knows it or not, you want her to know. So here is what you do. You go ahead and tell the wife IN PERSON. Tell her only a few feet from her, "I slept with your husband". Then put your hands behind your back and take what you have coming to you. No iam not going to tell the wife iam not that cruel, if she fines out it wont be by me. now if she ask me yes i would tell her that would be the only way!
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