youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Here's the deal, I went out with this girl bout a month ago and we had a good time, we hooked up, and hung out only once since. The second time was only for like 10 min cuz she forgot something at my place and was supposed to chill but she flaked out, or so I thought. So I gave her back her stuff and didn't try anything, and she pulled me back for a kiss. We talked a lot online before the date but not so much since. She seems to be ignoring me when I im her or sometimes she will respond a long time after. I figure this is probably a sign that she is not interested, but then when she does respond she is friendly and often tells me to give her a call if i'm where she will be that night or something. And she agreed to hang out this weekend a couple days ago, haven't spoke since and when I texted her today if we were still chillin didn't get any response. What does this mean? Is she playing games?
fishtaco Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 She likes you, but she's seeing other people too. You haven't been dropped off her list, that means you still have a chance, but you're probably not #1. My advice is to keep in contact with her, and take her out on dates once in a while. You never know if her #1 will drop off, then you could become the new #1. But at the same time you never know when you'll get dropped off the list either, so don't place your bets too high. And in the meantime, when she's "busy", use your free time to hook up with a couple more girls. Make your own list.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I do keep trying for it but I try not to seem eager. I think part of it may be because I just got out of a very long relationship and she thinks I might be clingy or something. I'm really not looking for anything long term with her, just looking to get out and meet new women to have fun. Believe me I'm trying for as many as I can right now lol, but i'm more of a shy person so they aren't exactly coming easy. But with this girl she seems to keep leading me on and then backing off. I would rather her be straight up and say she's not interested, or that she has a guy she's more into. It really wouldnt bother me right now as much as I am by her being rude and not responding to my advances and then acting normal again. I would even accept just being friends without any expectations. That's how the whole dating started, I talked to her cuz I was sad about my ex and then we kinda hit it off chatting. We aslo hooked up with nothing serious be4 I was even with my ex a couple years back. Her behavior just annoys me, but at the same time I wanna try for it without seeming depserate because she is very pretty and fun to hang out with. Should I just stop trying since she didn't respond to my text about going out this weekend or say something like "ok well I guess not".
mortensorchid Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Sounds like she's shopping around quite a bit, and you are on the list but not at #1. Keep it friendly, no reason you shouldn't. If it doesn't go anywhere, that's ok.
AussieJack Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Here's the deal, I went out with this girl bout a month ago and we had a good time, we hooked up, and hung out only once since. The second time was only for like 10 min cuz she forgot something at my place and was supposed to chill but she flaked out, or so I thought. So I gave her back her stuff and didn't try anything, and she pulled me back for a kiss. We talked a lot online before the date but not so much since. She seems to be ignoring me when I im her or sometimes she will respond a long time after. I figure this is probably a sign that she is not interested, but then when she does respond she is friendly and often tells me to give her a call if i'm where she will be that night or something. And she agreed to hang out this weekend a couple days ago, haven't spoke since and when I texted her today if we were still chillin didn't get any response. What does this mean? Is she playing games? THis has "low interest level" written all over it. She is not very attracted to you . It happens - even to me - hard to imagine that isn't it ? Sorry, dude you sound young and too nice for the rough and tumble of dating. SHe is trying to keep you around on the back burner as an "orbiter" -someone that she can call in when she has a need for attention etc. Yes, she is playing games - the same old girly game. THis game has been played by women for 100 thousand years . IT is usually played with guys who are too NICE from day one - cruel, but true. You are useful to her but you aren't DOING it for her. Ya get that? You have three options - ( first read my other posts about what attracts women) 1 .PLay the game HER way and you will end up being "friend zoned ". 2.. Get some fast track knowledge and play the dating game to win. 3. Just cut her off - walk away. However I feell bad for your a$$ so I will give you ONE free dating tip to jump start your Don Juan career. Women love confident and funny guys. Make 'em laugh and you are golden. Good hunting kiddo.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I was just about to respond to you Jack and she actually just texted me back. I had asked her if we are still chillin this weekend and she replied "Yes either tommorow or sat, I haven't decided". Now where should I go with this, I don't want her to think i'm a dude she can simply control and have wenever she wants, but at the same time I want some affection right now. How should I handle this?
Rogue Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I was just about to respond to you Jack and she actually just texted me back. I had asked her if we are still chillin this weekend and she replied "Yes either tommorow or sat, I haven't decided". Now where should I go with this, I don't want her to think i'm a dude she can simply control and have wenever she wants, but at the same time I want some affection right now. How should I handle this? She says "either tomorrow or Saturday". Right now she has the balance of power and is controlling the shots. Not a good sign. I would text her back and say "I've already made plans for the weekend now. I might have some free time on Sun."
fishtaco Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 But with this girl she seems to keep leading me on and then backing off. I would rather her be straight up and say she's not interested, or that she has a guy she's more into. Sorry bro, get used to it. What you just described here is called "dating". That's why it's so important to have a list of your own. If she annoys you, you are paying to much attention to her. There's no need to cut her off either. I mean let's say she's after #1 hot guy. #1 hot guy's probably got a list of his own, and she's may not be #1 on that list. If one day she gets turned down is feeling low, she may come back to you for some free ego boost. Well, there's no free lunch. Give her the ego boost she needs but make sure you get what you want out of it too, whatever that may be. Go for equal trade whenever possible. But anyway, work on getting other girls. Then her hot & cold would seem like no big deal. Plus women have scary instincts. It's hard to fake it with them. So if you want to play it cool and not be too eager, only way to do it effectively is to do it for real. Having a list will help you with that.
AussieJack Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I was just about to respond to you Jack and she actually just texted me back. I had asked her if we are still chillin this weekend and she replied "Yes either tommorow or sat, I haven't decided". Now where should I go with this, I don't want her to think i'm a dude she can simply control and have wenever she wants, but at the same time I want some affection right now. How should I handle this? You need to stop her in her tracks NOW. She is dangling you dude -because you are playing her game willingly. If I were you I would stiffen my spine, realise that a good women is rare and you may have to WAIT to find one. This chick does not qualify. However you might as well use her for target practise - (Gawd knows, you need it ) Why are you "asking HER " if you are chilling? You have given her all the control and she is doing what most women do in that situation -she is walking all over you. DO this --(after you get your backbone straight ) Do NOT reply to her last text - for at least one whole day. She will "feel" your retreat and text you to drag you back onto the mat. Then text her with this - " I am busy now -talk later " She will either reply and enquire what you are up to OR she will call you. DO not pick up . Do not reply. (Damn I hate this game playing, but this is bootcamp for the OP ) She will then contact you again later and suggest a date with her - and at that point you are on your own . You CAN do this soldier, Carry on. AJ out.
Rogue Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 She will then contact you again later and suggest a date with her - and at that point you are on your own . Not necessarily. Right now she has the balance of power. She won't call him. He has to come back with a counteroffer.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Thanks for the words of advice. I just got out of a long relationship that took up all of my college years so it's like the games are all new to me. I used to get a lot of girls before my LTR, and I guess it just takes a while to get the game back.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Not necessarily. Right now she has the balance of power. She won't call him. He has to come back with a counteroffer. I think i'm just going to not call or text and if she does call tmw and expect to go out i'm just gonna say I made plans already n she let me kno too late. If she wants to play these games with me I can just play it right back. If she doesn't call or text then screw her, just wasting my time.
Rogue Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I think i'm just going to not call or text and if she does call tmw and expect to go out i'm just gonna say I made plans already n she let me kno too late. If she wants to play these games with me I can just play it right back. If she doesn't call or text then screw her, just wasting my time. That will work. Don't forget. You are a busy person. Put some value on your time. If a bird calls you and you just drop everything then she will lose respect (and interest) in you.
Rogue Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Personally, I would just use this chick as practice material and start working on some other women.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Personally, I would just use this chick as practice material and start working on some other women. Uh I try but right now i'm at the beginning stages of just getting out of a very LTR, so it's like it's all new to me ya kno. Just taking what I can get at this point.
AussieJack Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I think i'm just going to not call or text and if she does call tmw and expect to go out i'm just gonna say I made plans already n she let me kno too late. If she wants to play these games with me I can just play it right back. If she doesn't call or text then screw her, just wasting my time. Now you are getting it ! You also need to start talking to (and dating ) at least two or three other women to expore any other possible contenders who maty qualify. THis chick, who is playing you, KNOWS your emotional state and your needs which may have come across as desperation. BAD BAD ! Ideally SHe should be working for YOUR attention not dangling you like she is. Don't do this ever again, Ya hear me. The problem is this - it is possible to turn this around and assert your just leadership BUT she has seen you as the star of your own Wuss Movie and those images are burned into her memory ---better to spend your energy on a new screenplay with a new leading lady (or three ) in which YOu are the hero. Carry on soldier.
Author youngbuckkk Posted March 31, 2008 Author Posted March 31, 2008 Update: So I never responded to her and she didn't get back to me on friday or sat, on Sunday she ims me to say happy easter and doesn't even mention the whole hanging out thing. I just say happy easter n we dont talk. Now a week later she ims me sayin hey where u been how come you never responded to my text, so I just played it off and acted like I didn't member. She says, "O i text you we were hanging out friday (lie)", and i just said O i duno. Now shes doin all the convo iniating, talking every time i don't respond, so it seems ignoring worked well in this situation, and i'm going to keep it up. Not asking her to do anything, do you think she will end up asking me to go out this time, or is she just looking for a lil ego boost? I'd still be interested in seeing her, so I don't wanna act totally cold, but I feel that acting uninterested is my best move right now.
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