i want kids and he does not, marriage on the rocks, what do i do?

[sxw113]

my husband does not want kids and i do, our marriage is on the rocks, what do i do?

My husband and i have been married for alomost 4 years. This is my first marriage and his second, he has four kids grown from his first marriage i have none. I am only 25 and he is 42. Because of this big gap in age i do understand that he has had his kids and may not want more. but he knew when we got married that i wanted kids but now 4 years later he keeps saying not now. I love him to death but i really want kids. I can't wait anymore, im no longer happy and im to young to be waiting. I have had several talks with him but they have all led to fights. Im tired of fighting and just want a normal marriage. I have had enough and i dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave, im so confused. What do i do???? I have not been home for several days, i have been staying at my friends house and he still does not get the clue. He thinks everything is fine.

[City_girl]

Sounds as tho he out and out lied to you. Kids isn't a small matter and he clearly knew it was a deal breaker. Do you really want to be with a man who is so capable of deception and so selfish as to have had his experience of being a parent and deny you yours? Kids may be the topic but to me kids isn't the issue.

 

You are in a loose loose situation here. Either he will let you walk or he will concede and bring a life into the world he didn't want to. You could end up alone with a child and he can turn around and say he didn't want kids and you pushed it. Do you really want to bring a child into this equasion?

 

His selfishness and lack of empathy would alarm me. Think carefully and try to look at the overall relationship apart from the kids issue. If all else fails take him into couples therapy but you might not find what you are looking for. Feel so badly for you, must be a terrible feeling.

[directx]

Yes, i agree with citygirl. Yeah, a lot of people want a normal marriage. You and me both.

But if he agreed to have more kids and now does not, he lied to you/betrayal.

Unfortunately, this is the type of power a spouse has in a marriage and not much you can do about it but go to counseling.

Good luck.