my husband does not want kids and i do, our marriage is on the rocks, what do i do?

[sxw113]

My husband and i have been married for alomost 4 years. This is my first marriage and his second, he has four kids grown from his first marriage i have none. I am only 25 and he is 42. Because of this big gap in age i do understand that he has had his kids and may not want more. but he knew when we got married that i wanted kids but now 4 years later he keeps saying not now. I love him to death but i really want kids. I can't wait anymore, im no longer happy and im to young to be waiting. I have had several talks with him but they have all led to fights. Im tired of fighting and just want a normal marriage. I have had enough and i dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave, im so confused. What do i do???? I have not been home for several days, i have been staying at my friends house and he still does not get the clue. He thinks everything is fine.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Ok, I'm confused. Your first post was on March 8th and you posted:

 

my b/f and i have been dating for almost 5 months.

 

Are you saying that you have been married for four years, and dating someone else for five months?

[sxw113]

Sorry for the confustion this is regarding one of my friends and the situation she is in, i forgot to put sorry again. She did not have a profile so i stuck it in mine, no harm intented.

[sweaterlove]

woah, you've been staying at a friend's place and he doesn't know you're mad at him? that sounds like a huge communication problem. instead of staying at ur friend's place and hoping that he'll get the hint that your angry and then for some reason figure out why you're angry, why don't you just confront him that your needs are not going to go away and have driven you to this point. And if this leads to further fighting, maybe u shud consider a marriage counseler.

[minorityslam]

I think you should just take your time and enjoy the moment. I got a daughter and as much as love her she can be hands full at times. With children you don't have any social life, can't take trips, go out on dinners every now and then without worrying about your baby. Kids are adorable and make the life wonderful but you do have to give up on a lot of things. Just wait for the right time and then and im sure he'd want them sometime down the line

[MalachiX]

Two seperate issues here.

 

The first is that your husband seems to be rather clueless as far as your feelings go. He doesn't realize something is wrong when you're not staying at your house anymore and he doesn't seem to realize that he agreed to kids and has to own up to that. This is a serious issue that deserves consideration.

 

That said, thinking you HAVE to have kids when you're only 25 is a little naive. You've got lots of time. Perhaps you guys can talk things out and work on a compromise.