What might this mean?

[youngbuckkk]

I've been broken up about 2 months, NC over a month. She broke up with me for space and because she felt like I needed to grow up, which was true in some ways. I was and still am angry about the way she seemed to have emotionally detached herself a while before just hitting me with the break.

 

So anyway, a couple weeks ago she tries to contact me via text and I ignore. She does so again a couple days later. Nothing big, just a "hi". I ignore again. Now just recently I find out that she im's one of my friends, whom she really doesn't like, and asked how I was doing because I wasn't talking to her. This really threw me off because she really despises this kid and always had. Why would she go out of her way to ask him this? I'm assuming that she may just still care and want to know that i'm doing well, which I am, but why bother to ask my friend? It's not like he's gonna say o he's still sad over you. She should take me ignoring her that I am doing well, no?

 

I am still very angry, and will probably continue to ignore any contact unless she tells me something I want to hear, which is very unlikley. I just wonder about this, because as mad as I am I still have feelings for this girl.

 

Also, what would you guys recommend if she tries to contact me again, ignoring or telling her that I just don't want to deal with talking to her as i'm trying to get rid of the romantic feelings I had as I assume she has already.

[youngbuckkk]

18 views and nobody has anything to say? I could really use some input guys.

[City_girl]

Think her ego is hurt as you aren't wagging your tail when she calls, move on and let go. You already know this, which may be why you haven't gotten many replies. I'ts the hardest bit isn't it, the letting go bit and even tho she doesn't want you, she may still want you to want her. Peple are funny that way...:rolleyes:

[stlnsmile]

This one seems hard to me, I guess after thinking some, maybe she really does just want to know how you are, and nothing more. Its weird when an ex contacts you when they broke it off, yet says nothing. In my opinion, if an ex contacted me, which mine never has and probably never will, but if he did, I would be strait......why are you contacting me? If they said anything other than I want you back, I would say, please don't contact me anymore unless you decide your an idiot and want me back:~) I think in a way your lucky, at least your ex wants to talk to you and this could be a good thing. At least there is a chanell for communication. On the other side, when you are trying to get over someone, it makes it harder if they really want nothing to do with you. Can you tell me, how many times exactly she has tried to contact you and in what ways?

[youngbuckkk]

I'm not 100% over her yet, I'm angry yes, but part of me wishes she would just come back and tell me how much she missed me and she made this huge mistake, not for the ego, but because I was never as close to anyone as I was with her, family included. I am not at the point right now where I could be friends though, because then I would know what shes doing and possibly who and that would bring me back to square one.

 

She texted me twice just saying Hi and that's it so far. I'm probably reading too much into this, just was wondering what others might think.

[stlnsmile]

I understand, my ex and I have been broken up for 3 1/2 months and I still want the same thing as you do, for that phone call...."I was an idiot".....it hasn't come yet. Don't beat yourself up, it takes a long time to get over someone you love. I'm still not over my ex.

 

And you know, just as you, I was really close to his family, probably too close, because when I lost him, I lost his brothers and sisters and family, and I am an only child, so I was realllllly lonely too. Its like loosing your own family. We went on trips together all over the county, I went with his family, he went with mine. Believe me, I understand.

 

I miss him so much some days I don't know how I will get through.......most days now, I am okay.......but others, I'm really not. Just don't beat yourself up no matter what. It takes time. I would not want to know what my ex was up to and who with and I never will. Thats okay.....let yourself have that. Why should you know that anyway. I don't think I would talk to her unless it seemed like she really wanted to have "the talk", about the relationship. I mean other than that.......what is the point? So you can hurt some more?

 

I don't want to talk to him about the weather, we did that once, it sucked, because all I wanted to say the whole time was "I love you, please work this out with me, don't do this." I guess my point is, he only wanted to talk about the weather and what he had been up to....and really, I don't want to hear that. What do I care about the weather and what he's been up to??? I wanted him.

 

So honey, don't hurt yourself anymore, and don't let her hurt you anymore, its not worth it. You've been through enough. If she loves you, she will leave a message more than just hi...she can text I assume? She might say something like "I miss you".......thats what I would say if I really wanted to talk to someone I broke up with and wanted back......I guess as a girl all I can say is girls really do know how they feel, and usually they will let you know.

 

On the other side......you can always say "Hi" if you want to and leave it at that. She may just want to see if you will respond, and may have more to say. Its up to you whether you want to take that risk or not. I have wanted to talk to my ex for days now because he is leaving for college in August.......and I just don't want him to leave with out saying something. He was the love of my life.....on the other hand........he knows where I am. So hope this helps some?

[youngbuckkk]

Thanks smile, i'm sorry to hear about your situation, but like you're saying to me, you shouldn't get so down on yourself or put so much on someone who is not being responsive.

 

You're exactly right about the "i miss you", that's all I think I would have to hear to begin talking and perhaps hear what she has to say. Right now it's either she wants to befriend me or she wants to simply make sure i'm doing ok. I don't need that. I'm sticking with NC unless she says something meaningful.

 

Feel better smile, whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

[stlnsmile]

I hope it does make me stronger......today I don't feel strong at all. I know tomorrow will be better, I never stay like this for long anymore. I think they already know what we would need to talk to them.....thats why they are not doing it.....does that make any sense? Stay strong. Oh and I also wanted to say, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but my ex, I think one of the reasons he won't contact me is that he's really mad, he hated drama, and there was drama.......try not to stay too mad too long. I also was mad at him and he could tell, so again, he may not be speaking to me because of that too.....so anger sort of gets us no where. You have a right to be angry and its okay, but just don't make that the only thing you put out there. Does that make sense?

[youngbuckkk]

I hope it does make me stronger......today I don't feel strong at all. I know tomorrow will be better, I never stay like this for long anymore. I think they already know what we would need to talk to them.....thats why they are not doing it.....does that make any sense? Stay strong. Oh and I also wanted to say, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but my ex, I think one of the reasons he won't contact me is that he's really mad, he hated drama, and there was drama.......try not to stay too mad too long. I also was mad at him and he could tell, so again, he may not be speaking to me because of that too.....so anger sort of gets us no where. You have a right to be angry and its okay, but just don't make that the only thing you put out there. Does that make sense?

 

 

I understand what you are saying. Right now I feel like anger is actually helping me get through the process of moving on. Without it I think I would just feel sad you kno, so right now it's like a defense mechanism of sorts, but it is just.

 

I feel that the day I am not angry with her anymore is an indicator that I am over it all. I feel like it's sort of a test of whether we were actually meant to be. If she contacts me while still angry then I hear what she has to say and maybe we work things out, if not then I move on and know it wasn't.

[stlnsmile]

Yeah.......its the same for me.......I'm still mad some days believe me. But now, for me, its been 3 1/2 months since the break up, and I feel like I wish I had not been so mad. Because the way he was, it would prevent him from talking to me. Truth is though, it probably doesn't matter. I mean if he wanted to, he could muster the strength I am sure to face me, mad or not. I guess I'm getting to the point now, that some of that anger is dying out. Thats what actually makes this time so hard, because I really want to speak to him before he leaves. Its hard when the anger goes away, and all you have is the memories, of what was good.

 

I wonder.....do they have the same good memories, or, is all they think about, is the stuff they didn't like? I mean, do guys think of you at all when they are done with you? I mean, I still believe somewhere in my heart he cared for me. Its probably stupid to feel this way, as he is not here. It just feels like such a lie. One day, I love you more than anything in the world....the next.....I don't love you.

 

I think it hurts now mostly because he didn't even want to be friends. He doesn't have any need to say one word to me. Just waves at me at school, thats it. Its just sort of another slap on top of the one I already had. But truth is, I know I could never really be friends, or really be neutral. I mean do I want to hear about who he's dating this week......nooooo! So in away I am grateful he is cruel. It will make it easier in the end. I have no hope, not one shred, so there is nothing to hold on to. I have no choice but to move on and live life for myself.

 

I wish I had something to say that would take all of your pain and mine and make it go away. How long have you been broken up? What did she say when she broke up? Guess we are both short on magic wands this week, so not sure I can vanish the pain. But I am sure talking helps for you as much as it does for me.

[stlnsmile]

Never mind last two questions, just went to top of post and read it again....sorry, forgot.