Kman21 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 i posted a thread days go, some of may have read it some of u may not, anyways long story short this girl broke up with from two years, she is now in college (freshmen) and is with another guy now, she told me that she lost attraction for me and lost all feelings, we had no big fights in our relationship and we got along great, now she is with another person and i asked her last week if there is any chance of us getting back together, she said "so far no, as of right now i want to be with this guy", now according to the info i have provided is there any chance at all?
wvhenson Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Dude, I really feel for what your going through. Im sure you gut wrenching sad and confused. Sounds like you really cared for her. You question is hard to answer. By the words she typed to you it sounds like a no. But, your in a good place to be really if you think about it. If she cared and loved you and this goes other guy goes sour or something Im sure your in her thoughts. She may just be confused by all this. Esp if she is now in college and exposed to alot of stressors and new experiences. If I was you I would be strong. Dont go crazy or psycho and bug her. Let her feel you wanted her....not needed her. Just be a good guy man. Im going thru almost the same thing. It hurts. Esp when you have nobody to talk to about it. I just wonder if mine even thinks about me and we didnt have any problems. JOHN
Author Kman21 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 yea I been getting told about the whole college thing John, I mean I am hoping things would get sour and she would come back to me, she also told me she sees me close and sees life differently now cuz shes in college. I am also thinking of going NC, what do you think?
wonderinwhatsup Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I can tell you from my own personal experience that NC is really the only way to achieve what you want. If you talk to her she will feel that she always has you waiting for her. Let her experience college (my ex is a freshman too) she's young and needs to experience the world. Maybe you'll get back together, maybe you won't, but the only way she'll no what she's losing is to sever contact. In my situation the NC has had her contacting me every few days with me not responding. She has a new bf so i decided NC was the way to go and I can tell you man that though its hard, its much better than listening to her talk about her new guy. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give it 3 months and then decide if you want to see how she is.
Author Kman21 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 yea i think i should do that but the thing is that i dont want her to feel like shes not close to me anymore, know what i am saying? im afraid we would grow apart, while now we are not
wvhenson Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Its just a hard thing to predict man and going NC is extremely tough to do, but sometimes it really is the best thing to do. Maybe she needs space to think...and going NC makes less pressure. Its a very tough thing to do esp if you were used to talking all the time and things going good. Ill never understand the power that love has. Its so fast and confusing. One day things are ok...the next its like bitter enemies. My situation wasnt filled with bad things tho. Thats what makes it harder on me. Mine was with and living with a guy....and wants away from him. We just havent gotten a place together or anything and I think when he found out again (the other guy) about us being in contact with each other he freaked on her and she called me and was all spastic saying "this double life " blah blah. Me and her were so good together tho. I just wonder if she will remember ALL the many good things I did for her and the good guy will win out? I was the good guy! But how old are you man?
MIKE2579 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Kman, I feel your pain. But just think about this for a second. Do you really want to be second choice? You hope things don't work out so she can come running back to you. Chances are, she is never going to look back. I am not tyring to say this to hurt you and sometimes the painful truth wil help you. I don't think there is a chance at all. If there was a chance she would be with you and not trying another man. You are young and you have a long life ahead of you full of women that will give you much more than a "second chance due to failure"
wvhenson Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 yeah man, your young also. Its tough and reading many different opinions on your situation is tough also. Nobody really understands the FULL story or feelings or anything like that in your case. I would just try your best to be tough and what I found helps is to do something FOR YOURSELF for once man. Do something that is your interest and hang around your close friends. Do talk about it tho. Dude, that helps alot. You probably feel your the only one feeling what your feeling and your not. I thought I was tough and it got me. Made me not even want to be around anybody. Your esteem, ego and everything gets touched on by this. Thats why I say do something for you...so it keeps your confidence up etc. I found out that helps a lot. Are you in college bro? JOHN
Author Kman21 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 senior in high school, intended major in electrical engineering or computer science
wvhenson Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Dude thats a cool major. Focus on that major. Is this your first serious relationship?
Author Kman21 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 (edited) yea it was... and by the way John, thanks for being helpful. i will try hitting the gym, sometimes i just go crazy when i think about what happened and start to miss her alot, and after this I learned alot from relationships and next time I would be more cautious, to be honest sometimes im afraid to get into another one because i dont want get a heartbreak again. But I know I shouldnt think like that. Edited March 21, 2008 by Kman21
wvhenson Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I know dude...its a mess. But we all put ourselves thru it. I think my problem is that I put SO MUCH into it and expect great things. I think I am way to trusting. But I know my qualities are sorta old fashioned in a way. Even if I had issues Im not the kind that runs and just breaks up when things are bad. I stick them out. Why doesnt anybody else put a little more gut into it? But Ive also learned that ill do it again in the future. Its like the future doesnt belong to the faint hearted...it belongs to the brave. What part of the country do you live in guy? Im in Pittsburgh, but born in the south. JOHN
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