so_sad Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 It seems like a lot of people pine over their exes, wishing they could get back together and wanting to catch even just a glimpse of them or hear their voice for a few minutes on the phone. 6 months into my breakup, I'm the opposite. I was clearing out my voicemail the other day and actually pulled the phone away from my ear when I heard an old saved message from him. When I see his name pop up in my email inbox (we communicate only about the remaining financial things we need to sort out), I automatically get a stomachache and feel nauseous. I absolutely dread running into him (it hasn't happened yet). In short, I am perfectly happy avoiding any contact with him at all. On the rare occassions that we do communicate, I feel sad and physically ill for a while after. It's like a big dark cloud that looms over my day. Don't get me wrong; I am in no way over the breakup. I know that I will be dealing with the incredible feelings of rejection and self-blame for a while. But, I know that I don't want anything to do with him - at all. I hate hearing from him, hate seeing his name, hate the thought of seeing him, hate hearing about him. I hate my ex, but I LOVE no contact!
lookingheart Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Could your ex have a personality disorder? I have similar feelings towards my ex, dark cloud, hate, my ex is a narssisits. They envoke such feelings.
Author so_sad Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 Could your ex have a personality disorder? I have similar feelings towards my ex, dark cloud, hate, my ex is a narssisits. They envoke such feelings. I suppose it's possible. He was Mr. Personality/Social Butterfly to the outside world, but sometimes a nasty moody bugger when we were alone. Is that a personality disorder?
lookingheart Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Maybe. Google Personality Disorders and check out Narcissism. There is soooo much stuff, he fits the profile, spend a few minutes reading, if you have time. I was overwhelmed with understanding. I found Im turning the cornor with this information.
PinkRibbon Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 My husband is a Narcissist. He will always be right and I am always wrong and everyone thinks he is the sweetest thing. They didn't have to live with his cruelty. I love him but contact would make me sick.
CaliGuy Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 NC is the greatest thing since sliced bread. (And I too, like you, dread any contact with the ex. I just want to enjoy my life without her in it. And that really should not be too much to ask for).
EllaDerSpin Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I suppose it's possible. He was Mr. Personality/Social Butterfly to the outside world, but sometimes a nasty moody bugger when we were alone. Is that a personality disorder? If it is then theres a high percentage of people who suffer from it.
joybean72 Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Mine in definitely a narcissist! I do the same thing as you do...I'm FINE when I don't have to hear his voice, get an email, or hear his voice. He sickens me and everything he says are lies, bulls%#t, and ALL about him!
0hpenelope Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Fine with NC? I'm getting there. Nothing feels more liberating than feeling fine with that, that's for sure.
sedgwick Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 Totally agreed! It takes soooo much longer to get over them if you keep seeing them. I did this with my first love (we occasionally slept together too -- BAD IDEA) and it took me years to get over him. I'm not over my most recent ex either; I know I'd fall to the ground sobbing if I saw him. But NC definitely does make it easier.
Recommended Posts