Ex Broke Up with Me but Still Calls?

[mike071983]

Hello everyone. Wasn't sure which this one belonged in, so it's in two places.

 

My girlfriend of nearly 4 years broke up with me about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Out of the blue, she meets up with me and says she needs a break. She is about to graduate college and has a lot of stress and pressure and is feeling constrained in a long term relationship. She also cited the fact that things have been a little bit routine and less exciting lately romantically. It was clearly very emotional and painful for her, so I try to be as supportive as possible and let her know that I am willing to do anything she needs. Three days later, she calls me, crying, to tell me that we just need to break up because being in a grey area is extremely difficult for her --hasn't been eating or sleeping well. She says she just can't be in a long term relationship at this time. I don't know if there's something she's omitting, like another guy or something, but whatever. I still try to be supportive and tell her that I'll always be there for her, but make it clear that I do want to be with her as more than a friend. I try not to lose it and just be understanding and supportive.

 

So I basically stick to giving her space. I decided that I will go 6 weeks without initiating any contact, which has been very difficult. About 3 weeks after all of this started, she calls me to invite me to a play at her school that she was involved in technical design, but specifies that she will only see me for about ten minutes after the show because she has to strike the set. So I go and it's cool. She also invites me to "catch up" at dinner a few days later. I accept, but so far this initial contact has been awkward and a little distant on her part.

 

At dinner, we get our regular rapport back and we have a really good time together talking and catching up but she is giving me a number of signs that make me uncomfortable. She uses the word "friend," as in "I'm glad we're still friends." She seems very cautious of any couple-like things, like if I ask her to do something she doesn't seem as excited of the idea of just doing something with me the way she did when we were going out. Then a guy friend calls in the middle of dinner and she tells him that she'll call back later, which she seemed a little embarassed about. It was that last one that got me. It seems like she's spending a lot of time with him. Maybe I'm being overly paranoid, maybe not.

 

So once again, I resign to just not initiating contact. But she continues to call and ask me how I'm doing or ask me questions that she wouldn't need me to answer like "where is a certain place located again?" I just don't know if she misses me and is completely uncertain of what she wants or if she just needs to make herself feel better by remaining friends with me. If she is dating another guy already, I would hope that she would know that I would not be comfortable being friends with her already. Do I take her calls? Do I keep not initiating anything? Do I ignore her? I love her deeply, and it's really hard to ignore her but it's also really hard to just be friends so soon. Any thoughts?