rab6 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I met this girl about 6 months ago and ending up dating her for about two months. she pursued me hard for a while but i decided to keep my distance to keep things simple in my life. i was having fun being uninvolved or attached to any one. that only lasted for a while than we started dating and mutually agreed we had awesome chemistry and a great connection. we both felt that what we had was amazing, in bed and all definately felt we were falling hard for each other. she immediately told me she can't get serious, doesn't like to be labeled boyfriend girlfriend, has issues with commitment, had a rotton time last year with an ex and in the past,etc...basically a true commitment phobic. however, she didn't want me to sleep with others and vise versa so we agreed to be monogamous. it seemed great, than sure enough, within two or so weeks back from now the affection stops, sex and it's more important for her to spend time with others than me and i mean most of her time time. obviously she's no longer as friendly towards me and i feel like a burdon to her. a definate shift in body language has occurred. once she won me over she completely stopped trying than i began hearing we need to slow down and we're getting too serious. we talked and agreed to slow down. she said she loves me to death (which she says about her friends) and i've become one of her best friends, loves hanging out with me, i'm an amazing person im everyway and if the timing was right i could be that guy, we have unbelievable sex and i have a brain upstairs to offer, in turn, i'm a positive ,healthy influence for her. but can't, again, get serious right now. In addition, she doesn't want to lose me, we will still be monogamous and we can still have sex, as she put it, once in a while, which seems weird to me. not to go on and on, ya right, but would you agree that she just wants out and can't pull the trigger? this is the first day we've had no contact which is fine because i'm bracing to consider this over for my best interest because i don't need to feel neglected and i'm tired of feeling insecure. i'm heartbroken after only two-months which really makes me mad at myself. she said it's all in her head, she needs to work on herself and her issues and not worry about someone else. that is not me at all. hard to believe though. i hear girls don't say what they really mean half the time. i've been nothing but patient, understanding and have put forth no pressure on her at all. but it hasn't helped: she is pulling further away so wouldn't you agree that i should cut it off and heal? it kills me though because that's the last thing i want to do. i feel she just can't do it and i'll never be able to trust those feelings that it's magic again. how can it go to hell this fast? any comments are appreciated.....
xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 My opinion on this is that she loved the allure of the chase, because in the beginning you were unavailable. I don't think she wanted a relationsnhip to begin with, it was more of an attraction on her part towards you. Then you guys had sex, and of course now's she's put in you in the FWB category. She doesn't want to be serious with you because she's non commital but she wants to keep you on a string to stay interested in her. Got my point? It will not end pretty. No matter how mind blowing the sex is, you're interested in something more, but she can't recipocate. The best thing you can do is end it with her before you get truly heartbroken over this.
Author rab6 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 Thanks for the reply. I've decided not to call or make any contact because I can't bear to end it even though it might be better to do so.
Recommended Posts