Author MsJJ Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 Reelwoman-I loved your input. I know exactly what you mean! Some men do have issues with pets. Some are scared over the fact that I have 3 large dogs. What can I say, I love big dogs lol. But over all with all the comments, I am so relieved that it's not me. For a while I started to think that maybe I was doing something wrong...nope..turns out I guess for now I am just stuck around a bunch of ppl who haven't really evolved yet lol. See, most of the time the men who have asked me out, say they love kids and want to meet my son some day. (I don't introduce my son until it is a serious relationship). I guess they are just mad that I am not a bimbo? Maybe I look like one and they are angry bc they judged the book by its cover? just kidding..lololol!
latefragment Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I love colorado... that must be so nice to be retired!!!!!! I need to be like you. How old is your son? Did you pick a career based on the ability to be financially sufficient or did you go after your "passion"? i speak swedish, french, chinese, and learning a bit of german and arabic. I really want to go to ivory coast or ghana because they speak french there. I don't have piercings like you do (just 2 ear cartilage ones, my hair usually covers it up) but I have 2 tats.
Author MsJJ Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 You speak swedish??? So Do I! Talar du Svenska??? Woow yaaay! I am half Swedish and Japanese. I speak Swedish, Japanese, and English. I have been learning Spanish and Hindi on and off. I went for a career that was for both. I was a marketing manager for a car company, (not a car lot or car sales but the actual corporate) and then I did forex part time from home. If you are good with math, I recommend this. The forex I mean. I love numbers and I love foreign exchange and watching the market. So yeah My son is 12 years old, soon going to turn 13. I am a bit sad about that, they grow so quick right before your eyes. I don't have any tats, just my nose pierced and my ears. I have to admit, I imitate the Indian look a lot.
latefragment Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 (I don't have the characters on my computer so you'll have to imagine the umlauts & etc.) wow! vi maste prata pa svenska nagon gang snart! trakig att du har inte "private messaging status" eller vi kan tala. hur gammal ar du? jag ska ga spela musik ikvall sa hors vi i morgon? ha en bra kvall!
AussieJack Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I don't think that the men who are intimidated by smart, confident, successful women have enough self-awareness to admit that to themselves...they would probably tell themselves something else. I have had the experience with men who felt they had to somehow one-up me or put me down because I made them feel intimidated, but these were guys who, as I discovered, were very insecure themselves. I work in academia and the arts, so it's easy for me to meet guys that are smart and talented and not freaked out by feminists. But there are a lot of guys out there who do feel uneasy if a woman can't be easily fit into a clear, traditional role. Don't worry about it---ask your friends if you seem abrasive or arrogant and see what they say. I think there are plenty of guys who are happy to meet strong, confident women who are successful, emotionally and financially independent, speak their mind, etc. I do think having a child makes it difficult; my friends with kids say the same thing. Even my having a dog has sometimes been an issue for some guys LOL! I will say this once again- men are not intimidated by "strong, independent, successful, confident women. " You gals are still missing the point . These woman are our perfect complement. These are the type of women that we want to MARRY ( except the feminists) However, sometimes, women like this are not who we want to 'date' - they are too time consuming and require too much EFFORT - yeah we are lazy sometimes or we are too busy on other projects .. Watch "Two and a half Men" - there is a lot of "Charlie" in most guys. Most men are NOT looking for a wife. Some are, but most are NOT. WE are content to cruise along and have dating relationships or FWBs while we build our career and our other life.. Then, one day, SHE comes along and pushes all our buttons - and zippo, bam...we are IN a relationship. Yep just like the movies. However, the OP is ducking and dodging through her own posts. There is something not right about her replies. Cant put my finger on it yet. But my gut tells me that she is abrasive and argumentative and obnoxious( much like my good self .) Not attractive qualities in a woman. I could be wrong about her - I was wrong once, way back in 1978, I believe. LOL !
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Latefragment-Jag har inte private message annu for att Jag ar fortfarande ny har. Ha det sa trevligt ikval. Jag ses fram imot att prata med dej igen.
Star Gazer Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I do have to say this, though....I think the thinking that intelligent women are intimidating to men is rather antiquated and absurd. I do too. While I've experienced some issues with guys who earn less or who believe they're lower on the totem pole of success, but my independence and intelligence has never been a problem. If anything, it's been a huge turn-on for the guys I've dated. Maybe it has to do with the way you carry yourself? It's gotta be that.
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 AJ-You come across as very angry, and my gut tells me you will argue just for the sake of being right. So now your input is not really an input, its a form for you to vent your anger and frustration on whomever you chose. If what I have said or come across is unattractive quality to you, then thats a good thing
Star Gazer Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I don't really believe that men are intimidated by a strong, confident, smart woman. I'm all of that, even a bit arrogant at times and I never have issues with not getting called or invited for a second date. I have never ever heard a man say "I'm really in to her but she's so great and together that I'm intimidated by her so I won't be calling her again" I just don't believe this happens. Do you think that maybe you try too hard? Do you maybe go on and on about how you're a strong woman/single mom? You're doing something to turn these guys off. I agree with this too.
AussieJack Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 AJ-You come across as very angry, and my gut tells me you will argue just for the sake of being right. So now your input is not really an input, its a form for you to vent your anger and frustration on whomever you chose. If what I have said or come across is unattractive quality to you, then thats a good thing Ha ha ! THis thread is not about me - it is about your problems with men. You have ignored every sensible take from us on your problem except those posts which directed the onus back onto the guys - well, sister the problem is not us, it is YOU. The common denominator in all your dates was you. Perhaps a woman 'of your age' might like to also consider whether wearing a shiny piece of hardware thru your nose is helping your quest to find a suitable man. I think not, however good luck on finding a guy who wants you for being "just you" .. BTW you are welcome to have "the last word" - I am sure that you need to do just that.
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Well as you said this post is about me...so I will have the last word...tee hee And yes I do like to reply to those who have written to me or given me input. Call it having the last word or whatever else that pleases you. But as I said, you just have to be right don't you? lol. You just couldn't leave it alone could you? lol. Let's see what other amusing things you will say in order to feel vindicated and or right.
Star Gazer Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 FWIW, Allina and I pretty much agree with Aussie, and you've ignored us as well.
Green Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I love how I was ignored... she thanked every one who posted but me, how dare she... I'm probably the type of man who would call her up and tell her something lame like "sorry hunny your just to brilliant to date"
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 KMT- I am sorry for ignoring you it wasn't intentional, my thank you was for everyone who gave me input, so that would include you Star Gazer-I am not sure what to respond, I have been thinking about what you have given me as feed back. I suppose I like to ponder over things sometimes. So that I am not defensive or ramble on things that do not make sense. I have to also think about how it is that I carry myself, and see what I could be doing wrong too. I apologize if I haven't responded quick enough. I think I did respond to one of the things Allina said. I will look back and check.
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I did respond to some of the questions Allina had. KMT-I agree, it is sort of vague and hard to know when it is just my side of the story. I did read your input and seriously, did not mean to make it seem like I over looked you at all. My apologies.
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I am half Swedish and Japanese. I speak Swedish, Japanese, and English. I have been learning Spanish and Hindi on and off. I went for a career that was for both. I was a marketing manager for a car company, (not a car lot or car sales but the actual corporate) and then I did forex part time from home. If you are good with math, I recommend this. The forex I mean. I love numbers and I love foreign exchange and watching the market. So yeah My son is 12 years old, soon going to turn 13. I am a bit sad about that, they grow so quick right before your eyes. I don't have any tats, just my nose pierced and my ears. I have to admit, I imitate the Indian look a lot. I'm part Malaysian, Mongolian, Pranakan-Buegese and European. I speak Malay, Indonesian, Mandarin, Cantonese, a bit of Afrikaans, learning French and also, Spanish. I am managing a student academy and studying Psychology. I am planning of opening my own B&B in SA. I hope I am not intimidating to men. BTW, I agree with StarGazer, Allina, AussieJack and what the hell, KMT too!
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Wow what a unique mix! I bet you are beautiful. Haha about the agreeing part, everyone is entitled their own opinion. Hehe.
Woggle Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 None of those traits would be a turnoff to me so it it might have something to do with your demeanor and how you come across even if you don't mean to. Do you come across as somebody who has a negative attitude towards men and feels the need to shout from the fooftops how much you don't need us? In no way am I saying you do thing but while an independent woman is a good thing it is a red flag if a woman feels the need to tell us how useless we are in her life. If not this I don't know what it is.
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Haha about the agreeing part, everyone is entitled their own opinion. Hehe. Yup but it doesn't hurt to read back and think about it, right? How about you go out on a date, when you go home - write down how it went, what you did or said and maybe on another date - change it a bit? LOL - I hope I am making sense.
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Lyssa-Yeah makes perfect sense. And that is what I have been trying to do. I guess self analyzing, thinking back to my last few dates and what I said or how I acted that might have come off wrong. And not to say I am a saint or a perfect person, but I really can't think of anything. Woggle-I think when women or men, talk about how they don't need the other gender or whatever else, it's kinda mean, esp on a date! Now there are some ppl who don't want or need anyone else and they are perfectly happy. I will admit as much I enjoyed my traveling and alone time that was needed for me, I do want a companion. I am still wondering about my demeanor and how I carry myself that would make a bad impression...hmm...still thinking lol
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Lyssa-Yeah makes perfect sense. And that is what I have been trying to do. I guess self analyzing, thinking back to my last few dates and what I said or how I acted that might have come off wrong. And not to say I am a saint or a perfect person, but I really can't think of anything. Do you have any dates lined up this week? Go on one, do the self-analysing thing and then come back here and post. We'll help you out - maybe we can point out something you didn't/don't see/realise. Just a thought.
Author MsJJ Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 I have some this weekend. Now I am wondering if I should start a new thread, bc, I think I got it here. LOL. Most of the men I have gone on dates with these past 3 months, are ppl from dinner parties, social gatherings from either friends or acquaintances. The men who have asked me out already know the basics about me, bc questions like are you married? Do you have any kids? What do you do? and so on have been answered before they ask me for my number. I am now wondering if I unintentionally act nonchalant about the date, or them even. I really don't mean to lol. oh gees. I guess I talk to everyone like they are my friend. There are 3 dates that I will boldly say I did nothing wrong. The first one was the commercial real estate guy, who wanted me to drink more, and at the end of the date insisted I went to his place for a "back massage". I politely said no. The second was the one who said his ideal woman is dumber than a bat. The third was a manager...(can't remember for what company) he asked me what my hobbies were and I said a few things that I liked and he asked if there were any more hobbies. I said yes, I like to study physics and solve problems, its like a puzzle and I love it. His reply to that was "oh you are into all that crap?". I don't think physics is crap...*pout* lol. And I said to him well its one of my hobbies. Then he seemed angry and asked me why i had not gone to a geek convention and found a nerd to date there. I thought that was mean and rude... When these guys called me back, I simply declined their request for a second date. Anyway, I will pay attention to what I do on my next dates and such, and I will post again!
Lyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 The third was a manager...(can't remember for what company) he asked me what my hobbies were and I said a few things that I liked and he asked if there were any more hobbies. I said yes, I like to study physics and solve problems, its like a puzzle and I love it. His reply to that was "oh you are into all that crap?". I don't think physics is crap...*pout* lol. And I said to him well its one of my hobbies. Then he seemed angry and asked me why i had not gone to a geek convention and found a nerd to date there. I thought that was mean and rude... That is just plain rude. He doesn't have to insult your hobbies. Gee whizz. Good luck on your next dates and do post about them!
Shindig Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Yeah... I agree that is rude. It screams, "inferiority complex!"
DanielMadr Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I probably look like a prototype of a not so clever guy and I even encourage this impression because I dont try to impress everyone with my IQ on first sight - I even have blue collar slang. And when I meet some "smart" girl she doesnt have to say jack-sh*t and I sense she thinks Im stupido grando. And I can feel she is just enjoying it. I can see the change in her attitude when she finally realize Im not that dumb. And I lose a lot of interest in that girl, because she is not very smart after all. If she was smart she would know that you can meet smart people on construction site and you can meet educated idiots on Harvard. You probably gives this "Im-so-smart" vibe. Exactly the same annoying vibe I try to hold back hopefuly, because people dont like it. It stinks you know and it can be smelled.
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