LoveLace Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I swore off online dating for years, but now Bill and I have talked on the phone for hours the last several days in a row...1st and foremost, we're both clear that we're looking to "settle down" with someone. He's got a great job and is buying a house. He seems pretty easy-going, cool, and responsible. We've made plans to have lunch together this weekend. I'm excited to meet him...but there is always a BUT I'm getting nervous, but can't pin-point why. We've seen each other's pictures...and he seems cute enough, but still, I've done the online thing in the past where the pics are cute but the guy is not. And I"m sure guys have thought the same of me before (who knows)...anyway, my past experience with this has always been that ya meet up, and one of you isn't so into it after all. "In Person" can change everything. It seems we have a few things in common, but also a little different, can't be too boring. I'm nervous that meeting up won't seem as good as our marathon phone conversations. Am I just nervous because I like him, or afraid to expect that I finally may have found someone great?
NuTuDating Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 It's natural to be nervous. Realize that you're attractive and that he's nervous, too. And no matter what, determine that you are going to have fun no matter what on the date.
D-Lish Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I've grown tired of the online dating as well. Too many disappointments and people that misrepresent themselves. If nothing else, I avoid meeting people now. I always feel it won't be worth it so why bother. Having said that, I still have a profile up, and still talk to potential dates. But I guess you can't treat life that way. If you have chemistry over the phone, feel you have some things in common and like his pictures- I don't see a reason to blow off the date. When you don't go in with high expectations, you won't get disappointed. I guess you can look at it that you don't have anything to lose, instead of wondering if there is anything to gain. Being nervous is so normal. ;-)
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I've been on a couple dates now with a guy I met online. Me likey. I think the trick to not being disappointed is meeting quickly and not spending a lot of time investing in phone/IM talk prior to meeting.
Author LoveLace Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 I think the trick to not being disappointed is meeting quickly and not spending a lot of time investing in phone/IM talk prior to meeting. I agree. With the last online guy (who turned out to be a huge jerk) we talked very little on the phone, and got right to meeting up. I was cool with that. Because it's like, you don't really know for sure until it's person, weather or not you want to date the guy. Maybe he was jerk, but at least there was no wasted time learning this. Bill and I have invested on the phone every night for the last week or so. It's obvious we really like each other in this manner which is good...but that makes it all the more disappointing if you meet and the same chemistry isn't there. That's what makes me nervous...but not so much that I won't meet him...I'm dying to meet him! It's excitement, suspense, and fear all in one. You know what's cool? We talk "evenly"...neither one dominates conversation, we both talk plenty and equal, with pretty much no moments of awkwardness. Don't know how many times I've had to carry a conversation or the guy just plain wouldn't let me talk. So this has been a nice balance. Ugh, I just hope it's that way in person...I think meeting will feel a little awkward at 1st no matter what, but if we really have something here, we'll warm up fast enough I hope. I'm trying to avoid going back to look at his profile because I don't want to look too closely and suddenly feel uninterested!
Winfield Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Go with an open mind and don't expect anything - that way you'll either: a) be pleasantly surprised or; b) not be too bothered that your "date" didn't meet your expectations
Author LoveLace Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 Go with an open mind and don't expect anything - that way you'll either: a) be pleasantly surprised or; b) not be too bothered that your "date" didn't meet your expectations good advice
Author LoveLace Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 On the phone earlier, Bill asked if I was afraid of lizards because he has a pet lizard! I said no, I just won't have the desire to get close to it! He said, just checking cuz I wouldn't want ya to change your mind about me!...cute..
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