CGrace44 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I have a wonderful boyfriend. We started dating a little over a year ago. At the time I told him that I was not ready for a serious relationship because a had just gotten out of a serious relationship that had ended poorly. We started hanging out all the time and eventually started dating. He is truly great. He is very respectful of my feelings and what is important to me. We get along great--I could probably best describe him as the male version of myself. We like all the same movies, music, etc. And we call each other our "best friend." The problems with our relationship is that sometimes I feel like we are too alike, we jumped into things really fast and I'm really not that attracted to him physically, and sometimes he is way too sensitive. Relationships scare me and sometimes I can tell that he gets frustrated when I get flustered talking about the future. I know he wants to be able to tell me that he loves me, but that totally freaks me out. He really is my best friend and he is a great guy, but sometimes I think he is not the guy for me. Is it bad for me to see him as "Mr. Right Now" and continue dating him with no intention of falling in love?? Should I break up with him? HELP!
beta Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 The same thing actually happened to me with my first husband. He is probably to this day one of the best men I have ever met. We married 15 years ago but divorced 2 yrs later. I initiated it. The guilt of that is overwhelming (sorry to sound so bad). It's true though. Wanting to break with no tangible reason is really hard. I felt I gave it all I had...tried everything but was not seeing him as my passionate lover (as everyone dreams of). Am now going thru my second divorce...Some might argue that I will never be happy? I don't think that's true. I think I just haven't found the right one yet. Being allot alike is really important. We didn't have that completely. I mean, yes we had great fun together and loved doing things together but we were both striving for diff. things in life. Are you? Do you have the same dreams? We didn't and that was the deciding factor for me. He is exactly today where he thought he would be. I am not...YET. But i'll get there! Warm wishes
KittenMoon Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 He really is my best friend and he is a great guy, but sometimes I think he is not the guy for me. Is it bad for me to see him as "Mr. Right Now" and continue dating him with no intention of falling in love?? Should I break up with him? HELP! He wants love and commitment, you want, well, "Mr. Right Now". You should let him go so that he can find someone who wants what he wants.
LuCidiTy Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 if you're not all that attracted to him physically, what pushes him over the line in your mind from friend to boyfriend? just curious because to me physical attraction (or at least not repulsion) is one of the criteria.
Belkin Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I already see the new thread in a few months: "Help! I dumped the best boyfriend ever, but he has moved on and now I want him back!" Do this only if you're absolutely sure it's what you want. You could very well start feeling love for him only once he is out of your life! But if you're certain it won't work out between you, then breaking up is probably best for the two of you I suppose!
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