bobbydygytul Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 me and my girlfriend broke up for 4 days. When we got back together, we decided not to tell what we did during the break up. It lasted for a few days and then we both found out. I said a bunch of bad things about her in email to some people she doesn't like (like calling her a spoiled rotten brat and saying i finally got rid of the pain in my rear end). I didn't mean to say those things in email, i was just mad at the time. She got furious and told me that she slept with another guy during our breakup. Both of us was hurt. We are still together, but things just doesn't seem the same now. Im getting over the fact she slept with someone. I realize we were in fact broke up. But she on the other hand is still pretty mad at me for those things i said. I just want things to go back to normal. things just seems so akward now and i just want things to go back to normal. any advise?
StartingOver07 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Um, am I reading this right? You were broken up for just 4 days. In that time: You said some bad things about her in an email.She had sex with someone else.Now, you are forgiving her and she is still mad at you? Her anger is a red herring designed to keep you on the defensive so that you will not look too closely at how she could have already found someone to have sex with in just 4 days. I would bail if I were you. If you choose not to, at least make sure she used protection so that she does not infect you with an STD.
m101882471 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 If i read this as correctly as StartingOver07, then you ARE CRAZY... 1) I would never get over the fact that she slept with another guy 2) I would write new e-mails to the same people telling them that she slept with another guy. She has you on lockdown and you need to get out. There is no way she can even be remotely mad at you for any words that you said about her. Actions are louder than words and in this case her ACTIONS were the VERY WORST. Dont let her take for granted the fact that you are a laid back person who doesnt care about things. She sounds like an uptight situation and if YOU SLEPT with someone on the 4 DAY BREAK what would she be doing to you right now? This is crazy ....
Author bobbydygytul Posted March 20, 2008 Author Posted March 20, 2008 well she says she is truely in love with me and that she has never cheated and will never cheat on me. She says they are best friends with benefits, and that if we wouldn't of broke up, she wouldn't have done that because she thought we were going to be over for good. She says i wouldn't understand because she is only the second person i have ever slept with and she has been with 25 guys. She says there is a big difference in having sex with someone and making love to someone your in love with. It just upsets me because i feel like i never have any control at all with her. We have had a few problems in the bedroom with me losing erections, and she says she also just wanted to make sure it wasn't her. When that happens, she thinks its because im not attracted to her and it makes her feel like crap, like she is doing something wrong. I just get so damn nervous sometime when we try. Dont get me wrong, we ARE sucessfull, sometimes i go a bit prematurely, but im working on these things and we do have complete success at times. Im just so confused. I feel like im an idiot for dealing with her, but im just so in love with her and really want it to work.
NuTuDating Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Dump her. Either she's lying about sleeping with someone so fast in an attempt to hurt you, or she DID sleep with someone that fast, which is an even larger red flag. If every time you two get into a spat, she runs and screws someone else, she's nowhere near worthy of your time. Dump her and move on.
NuTuDating Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 She says they are best friends with benefits... That's the deal killer there. How can she have a friend with benefits and date you? Ditch her today.
StartingOver07 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 well she says she is truely in love with me and that she has never cheated and will never cheat on me. She says they are best friends with benefits, and that if we wouldn't of broke up, she wouldn't have done that because she thought we were going to be over for good. Ok, let's pretend this is true and follow her reasoning to its logical conclusion... She says i wouldn't understand because she is only the second person i have ever slept with This is a nice argument because you can't refute it, can you? She's got you in a box. The problem is, it doesn't require having slept with some specific number of people to recognize that it is completely irrational for your gf to be mad at you for something unpleasant you said in an email while she was out f***ing around. and she has been with 25 guys. She says there is a big difference in having sex with someone and making love to someone your in love with. Well, she certainly has the experience to back her claims here... It just upsets me because i feel like i never have any control at all with her. We have had a few problems in the bedroom with me losing erections, and she says she also just wanted to make sure it wasn't her. So sex with 25 other guys didn't provide her with the confirmation of her sexuality she needed, 26 is the magic number. Righto. No wonder you have problems in the bedroom. I doubt you feel secure enough or loved enough by this woman to actually relax during sex with her. When that happens, she thinks its because im not attracted to her and it makes her feel like crap, like she is doing something wrong. If this is true, then she should read up on what causes this problem. This would be a better and more caring use of her time than doing what she did. This problems is not caused because the man is not sufficiently attracted to the woman but because of any one of a number of psychological or physical probelms or even problems within the relationship itself that are being manifested in the bedroom. Anxiety is probably the #1 cause in young men. I just get so damn nervous sometime when we try. Dont get me wrong, we ARE sucessfull, sometimes i go a bit prematurely, but im working on these things and we do have complete success at times. See above. She is using your "problem" to excuse her bad behavior which is only going to make your problem worse, I'm afraid. Im just so confused. I feel like im an idiot for dealing with her, but im just so in love with her and really want it to work. Are you sure you love her as opposed to lovng what she represents or being drawn to the unattainability of her? What is it you love about her -- the specific qualities. Make a list.
Balthazar Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Startingover covered all bases Bobby. Women like your GF are not worth investing your time and emotions. You are better off ditching her. It will hardly be your loss, and she will probably be at No.27 before you know it.
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