Hester Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 [FONT=Arial]Just to make my story short, I’m single and my MM is 18 years old than me, we had an affair for one year now and he is thinking of buying a house and having kids with me, but never talking about leaving his family(but he told me that he was divorcing his wife when we started to contact!), I used to believe that I don’t care about wedding or the paper cos a paper doesn’t make me love him more, but now I didn’t think that way, sometimes I was thinking of leaving him but my resolution always fail whenever he talks to me, I get lost in his voice. Don’t know what to do now, I get so moody these days, keep crash into things.....[/FONT]
Lyssa Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 You keep crashing into things? Don't you have your glasses on? Jokes aside - what good will it be if he had a house and kids with you and he is still with his W? He isn't Muslim, is he? If yes, then it is possible for him to have more than one W but W must consent to it! But that isn't for everyone - I know I wouldn't want that!
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 we had an affair for one year now and he is thinking of buying a house and having kids with me MM will tell you whatever you want to hear in order to keep you around, while never actually getting around to doing what they say as long as you agree to keep seeing them behind their wives' backs. If you want to see how sincere he is and what he really thinks about having a future with you, tell him that you love him and want to be with him, but that until he shows you signed and legal divorce papers and a lease on his new place that he is not to contact you, period. This is designed to show him that having a W and an OW is not an option. If you give him the option of having both, he will choose that option, so... remove that option. He can have one or the other. If he does contact you, ask to see the legalized divorce papers and his lease on his new place. If he can't produce either, then remind him of your terms and cut him off again. Then walk away. Unfortunately, you will want to prepare yourself for the 99.9999999999999% chance that he will simply let you walk away and continue to stay married.
nadiaj2727 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 If you want to see how sincere he is and what he really thinks about having a future with you, tell him that you love him and want to be with him, but that until he shows you signed and legal divorce papers and a lease on his new place that he is not to contact you, period. This is designed to show him that having a W and an OW is not an option. If you give him the option of having both, he will choose that option, so... remove that option. He can have one or the other. If he does contact you, ask to see the legalized divorce papers and his lease on his new place. If he can't produce either, then remind him of your terms and cut him off again. Then walk away. Unfortunately, you will want to prepare yourself for the 99.9999999999999% chance that he will simply let you walk away and continue to stay married. LB is correct. All I can tell you is to listen to what she says. And please don't have kids with this man unless and until he is committed to you and only you.
twice_shy Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Yes, you should leave. He is cheating on his wife. Don't think he can't or won't cheat on you. Why would you want a cheater?
Never_Again Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 He is lying to you, so of course you should leave.
Author Hester Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 [FONT=Arial]Hi all, thanks for the advice and any other suggestions, I have packed up his staff and post it this morning, I did it last year but then I failed myself cos missing him so much… and then went back to him, but this time its going to be different, cos I know he has no intention to buy a house with me and have kids with me, all he has said was just bull****, he was born a liar and now I see it so clearly, he would come to me when he got problem with his wife, but when his wife is away he normally didn’t contact me just but just few texts saying he loves me all those corny things, and just recently I knew that he has hatched other woman in his other aprts close to his office… [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Will write more when I can, feel so sad all the time, Thanks all again for your understanding and support.[/FONT]
Author Hester Posted March 28, 2008 Author Posted March 28, 2008 Hi all, Just to update my story, I have started the NC literally now, I know there will be difficult times when I might feel tempted to go back, but I will pray everynight hoping god will bless me and give me strength, I have blocked his email and changed on my mob his name into “Barstard([COLOR=red][FONT=Wingdings][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=red] sorry I promised myself not to be so upset but I just can't control myself even though I know he is not worth it[/COLOR]) ”, just to remind me how stupid/blind I used to be!!!, believing that he wanted to have a life with me, but the truth is he also dated other girls when not seeing me, I don’t know how long he has these other Affairs and how many, anyway, its not important now, thank God I found out what he is made of!!!!!!!! Then it reminded me of all those empty promises he has made, what an incredible liar! Hester
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