lmcinms Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I've got a really weird one. About 4 months ago a man started coming to this support group I go to regularly. He showed an interest in me from the beginning. A couple of months later we went out a few times. We haven't gone out since then, but he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking, other men in the group have told me that he doesn't like for me to talk to them, if he sees me being friendly to a new man he rushes to get to know them. I also need to add that he changes his plans to be places where he knows I will be. He flirts with me a lot and is always hugging me and finding other reasons to touch me. When I talk to him he listens. I talk to a lot of other people including men in the group. Does anybody have any idea what might be going on with this guy? Any suggestions will be much appreciated!!!!
Green Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 What kind of support group is this? Have you seen the movie "Fight Club"
audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I've got a really weird one. About 4 months ago a man started coming to this support group I go to regularly. He showed an interest in me from the beginning. A couple of months later we went out a few times. We haven't gone out since then, but he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking, other men in the group have told me that he doesn't like for me to talk to them, if he sees me being friendly to a new man he rushes to get to know them. I also need to add that he changes his plans to be places where he knows I will be. He flirts with me a lot and is always hugging me and finding other reasons to touch me. When I talk to him he listens. I talk to a lot of other people including men in the group. Does anybody have any idea what might be going on with this guy? Any suggestions will be much appreciated!!!! I read the term "socially retarded" in another post... Maybe he's oddly shy. He's gazing at you, basically being a part of your life and what's going on without anymore alone time than the couple of dates you went on initially. Maybe he just wants to be really good friends? If he's not asking you on any more dates, that would make sense, or maybe he's trying to figure things out from afar.
Author lmcinms Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 Hi Audrey, Socially retarded? Thanks! He makes too many hints for me to think he just wants to be good friends. I was very cool to him at the start. Sometimes I still get a little put out with him. See, I like him but not to the extent of tearing myself up over him. I found out tonight from a relative of another woman he brought with him a couple of times that he only brought her to make me jealous. I do know his ex-wife told him to leave because she was tired of him and that it just about destroyed him for over a year. Thanks again!
Green Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Well I took the time to read and reply to your question which you prefaced as being a weird one. I have to say I was insulted when you completely ignored my input only thanking the other poster. I asked what kind of support group it was because it would have helped me better answer your question. And I made a reference to “Fight Club” because it’s a movie that at the center of the story involves a man and woman who met at a support group. He feels the same way about you as you claim to feel about him. He is indifferent for now he realizes that he might like you but he also realizes that maybe he doesn’t. Unless he decides that he does like you he will never ask you out again. Seeing as he already asked you out once he won’t be scared to ask you out again if he does make up his mind.[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]
Author lmcinms Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 Since you did not include any of this very helpful and very clarifying information in your first post and I have not even heard of the movie "Fight Club", I was inclined to think you were making an issue of this occuring in a support group. I've hesitated for weeks to bring this to a forum because of the possible negative connatation that the words support group sometimes bring to a situation. The type of support group is not important. I only mentioned it to give situational awareness.
audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 He makes too many hints for me to think he just wants to be good friends. I was very cool to him at the start. Sometimes I still get a little put out with him. See, I like him but not to the extent of tearing myself up over him. I found out tonight from a relative of another woman he brought with him a couple of times that he only brought her to make me jealous. I do know his ex-wife told him to leave because she was tired of him and that it just about destroyed him for over a year. Do you think his ex-wife may have been tired of him because his behavior is wishy-washy generally? I think he's trying to figure it out, and KMT has a point, if he decides he doesn't wish to pursue another date with you he won't. Good thing you're not in "tearing myself up" mode; just go about your usual routine and don't spend too much time thinking about it.
Author lmcinms Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 I don't know anything about his ex-wife except to say she has mental/emotional issues and has left him with a pile of bills that is forcing him into bankruptcy. I do remember him saying that she left him because he had run out of money. I find this whole thing an interesting study in human behavior.
audrey_1 Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Yes, I can see why. Forcing him into bankruptcy? If I was him, I wouldn't be in any hurry, either. If he does like you, maybe he's afraid of the possible negatives rather than positives at this point.
Balthazar Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Yep, he's interested alright. But he needs to get a backbone and do his job as a man.
carhill Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 If the OP is accurate about the guy's history, regrowing that spine will take awhile. My take is the OP notes his interest but find the signals he's sending out to be unclear and without significant self-confidence. Her interest is currently low. That said, just the fact that she mentioned him here says there's something about him she likes, so maybe when the spine regrows and he changes his approach, there might be a future. Or, not
AussieJack Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Yep, he's interested alright. But he needs to get a backbone and do his job as a man. Tell HIM to post here because AussieJack has some serious advice for him.. Ha!
Recommended Posts