TheseWounds Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I can give you what I think the answers are to this and why I think I feel the way I do about it, but I want to present it here first without me saying anything at all. I will post again after a few people reply and tell you my thoughts on it. I think it will be great if I can have someone else put it into words without me even giving the detail as to why I think I feel the way I do. I hope that this will be the best section to put this... There is a pain that I have -- emotionally. I've heard the expression 'heartache', but never did I know that this could possibly turn into something physical. When certain things happen, I get a slight pain in my heart -- like my heart is dropping, and there is a hot/cold flash. This not only happens when I see or hear something upsetting, but also when I just think of something upsetting (and that's when it happens most). This doesn't necessarily have to do with the below, but there is some kind of sadness that overwhelms me when the below happens. When I watch a movie that has a family in it -- a mother, father, etc, and just general happy family activity, I have to turn it off. It's painful for me to watch. When I watch a movie that has a girl and a guy in it -- boyfriend/girlfriend, especially hugging/kissing etc, I have to turn it off. It's painful for me to watch. When I hear, see, or read about guys that have girlfriends, people that have families that get to experience good things and eventually turn into happy memories, and just things in general like this, it's painful for me to hear/see/watch. There is a sexual thing that bothers me as well. For a few years -- I feel bad about masturbating and watching anything explicit (ok, porn...), so this is something that I don't do very often. I have long bouts of celibacy because of this. The other sexual thing is this. When I see girls that get into relationships, that have preexisting relationships, etc, and they have sex with their partners, it is painful for me to think about. The last detail that I'll give is that when I see someone being very sexually active -- sleeping around, it is painful to think about. I have to say that when I see someone being very dishonest and cheating on their partner -- it's the absolute WORST feeling that I've gotten out of any of the above. Even if I don't even know these people -- I just know of them or read about it, it completely destroys a part of me. Needless to say, I have a very hard time watching the show called To Catch a Predator, and especially the show called Cheaters. I want to see what anyone has to say about this. There are a few different reasons as to why I think this is, but it would be very nice to hear it from someone else's perspective without me going into detail as to why I think I feel this way personally.
LuCidiTy Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 did you have family issues as a child? involving abuse of some sort? parents or spouse cheating on each other or you? that's the first thing that struck me. apart from that you may be highly empathic and are feeling it physically.
Author TheseWounds Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 I know that I blatantly didn't give an answer, but it's more fun that way Of course we have all had things like this happen to us (at least to some extent), but it happens to bother me on a daily basis. It is what you said -- being highly empathetic. For some reason, I have developed into someone that is extremely sensitive to the things that have happened to me. I hate them, and when I experience it in any form, the physical and emotional part that I described takes over. My question is this. Is there a way to help myself with this besides just surrounding myself with everything that is positive? I actually wouldn't think so, and that doing just that is the best solution. Which brings me to the next, and most important question. Seeing as we all need to be positive about things, I have found something very positive in this, which is coming from something very negative (the first post). This means that I really do dislike these things, that I want better, and that I'd never do the things that make me feel like this. This is my sure way of knowing that I don't want these things to happen to myself, and to others.
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