fade_to_black Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 So im sure everyone's familiar with the sex with the ex situation, where you break up buut end up engaging in intimate encounters because the sex was great. me and my ex have been on and off for about 3 years now, and currently we've been broken up for almost 7 months. during this time, we've both had sex with other people, he's told me he still loved me and this whole break up thing was just to experience other people and he just doesnt want a girlfriend right now. and that is really making it hard for me to have any kind of closure with him. especially that now he barely speaks to me unless we visit each other (he lives an hour away). so my question is, at this point am i just being naive buying into this whole "i love you, i just want to experience things" BS, should i cut him loose? he has been my best friend and it's hard for me to remove someone i've been so close to out of my life. at this point i am so over his whole "hot and cold" act that i can pretty much say im not in love with him anymore, but we still connect amazingly during sex and just hanging out smoking doobs. do you think he has feelings for me still? or is this just "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" situation sorry for the rant...if you got through the whole thing i hope you can provide some feedback thanks! this is my first thread ever :|
Shindig Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I know sex with the ex can be comforting and remind you of all the good times (I know personally I don't think about the bad times until I consider getting back together... THEN I remember why we broke up). I don't think it's healthy. It is a great way to prevent yourself from getting involved with someone new. Given you and the ex broke it off and it doesn't sound like getting back together is a healthy option (esp. since he wants to 'experience things'), it would be wise to find someone new. Sleeping with the ex is a certain barrier to that goal. Move one, try no contact for a few weeks. Good luck.
LuCidiTy Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 i have to agree that it's rarely a good thing. the sensory stuff brings back a lot of the good memories but doesn't really change a thing. everytime i had sex with my first ex, we both swore we were back together...forever...until the sun came up, when one or both of us would just look sheepish and leave. yes a few of those times alchohol was involved, which was even worse.
strife Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 He met you yet still wants to experience other people. He should recognize how lucky he is to have you in the first place and not want to risk losing you! The cold hard truth is that you're now FTF, so why would he change when he can have the best of both worlds? If you're not ok with this... you have to find a new best friend and free yourself up for a new love.
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